Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 44B: A Second Honeymoon I looked at him. “Are you serious?” “You’ve talked several times about moving to give Daniel a fresh start. Let’s do it. We’ll have to do it fast. We need to make sure we sell the house and have the kids there by the summer so they can meet people and be ready to start the school year. I know it sounds crazy, but how about it? Let’s give us the second chan …
With a sociopath, the “good times” are bait to keep you in a losing game
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 44A: A Second Honeymoon As the next school year unfolded, it was as if Paul and I were on a second honeymoon. He started seeing a therapist weekly, and his dedication to change was apparent immediately. When an old college friend contacted me to let me know she would be in the area and wanted to know if I wanted to get away for a girl’s weekend together, Paul assured me he would loo …
With a sociopath, the “good times” are bait to keep you in a losing gameRead More
When your instincts scream, “RUN!,” please listen
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 43B: No Way Out I realize now that this was all an act. If Paul sensed I was going to leave him (and our marriage was going to dissolve on my terms, not his), he needed to do something drastic—appear to care, to accept some responsibility for our relationship, and to be committed to change. He needed to tap my empathy. Paul’s request felt surreal, partly because it was so out of …
With a sociopath, the promise “I’ll change” is just another con
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 43A: No Way Out At the end of the summer, before Jessica’s first year of high school and Daniel’s first year of middle school, I took them with me to spend four days in Vermont with my parents. I needed the weekend away from Paul to try to know my own mind. I did not tell Paul this, only that I wanted to take the kids to see my parents. When I had done this in the past, there was a …
With a sociopath, the promise “I’ll change” is just another conRead More
If you don’t know about sociopaths, it’s easy to make bad decisions–very bad decisions
Chapter 42: Writer’s Block Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. For a month, my work on this book stalled at this juncture. Yes, I had been distracted by the upcoming holidays, “life,” and Paul’s continual efforts to hurt me emotionally and drain my remaining assets through ongoing post-divorce litigation. I could also use the excuse that a seemingly inconsequential event that was a metaphor for my years with Paul (trying hard yet …
If you don’t know about sociopaths, it’s easy to make bad decisions–very bad decisionsRead More
14 tactics used by coercive controllers in abusive relationships
"Coercive control feels like being trapped in a cage and you can't get out and you don't know where to turn." That's how Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes described this insidious form of domestic violence. She was one of several experts who spoke at a conference on coercive control in Suffolk, England on March 6, 2017. Another expert, Dr. Evan Stark, said that around 25 percent of women in abusive relationships are never assaulted. The program described 14 ways that abusers control their victims, from limiting contact with family and friends to constant phone calls, texts and emails. 'It's like being in a cult for one': Read 14 tactics used by coercive controllers, on EADT.co.uk. …
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9 control tactics in a classic story of sociopathic manipulation
The following letter, written by a young woman whom we'll call Chloe, is one of the most complete stories of psychological manipulation that I've ever seen yet. Chloe wrote this letter secretly while the sociopath she is living with was at the gym. I met my boyfriend two years ago. I was 18; he was 33. He's a photographer; we live on an island that is very small. He has lived here forever (10 years) and I had only been here a few months when I met him. Everybody, especially women on the island, adore him, he is THE BIGGEST charmer. He told me that he had moved here with his fiancée, that she had said she was going home for a week, and then never came back. He said she'd gone to therapy b …
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An unwitting relationship with a sociopath changes us
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 41: Stronger Over the next year, with Dr. Davis’s help, I changed, but Paul did not. As my emotional strength and awareness grew, albeit slowly, I started to understand one of Paul’s key manipulation tactics, and I refused to be sucked in. Paul had a habit of entangling me in things someone else had done to disappoint or upset him. To show support for my chronically busy and ove …
An unwitting relationship with a sociopath changes usRead More
In A Relationship With A Sociopath, We Come To Accept the Unacceptable
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 40: Whether I was alone or on the phone with a friend or my mother, tears flowed daily. I felt worthless, entombed in quiet despair. Hardly anyone would argue that, with Daniel twelve and Jessica going on fifteen, parenting would be a breeze. Yet, my parenting unraveled far more than can be attributed to dealing with two young teenagers or preteens. I grew increasingly s …
In A Relationship With A Sociopath, We Come To Accept the UnacceptableRead More
Being With A Sociopath Is Like Being In A Cult
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 39: Past The Point Of Rescue (Hal Ketchum) Secretly, I hoped that Paul would just pick up and leave or be killed in a plane crash or in a car accident on one of those dark nights he came home late from a business trip or “working at the office.” I had never been able to shake my concerns that Paul had been and perhaps still was sexually involved with Anne-Marie. He alwa …