Not long ago, I heard from a woman whom we'll call "Rochelle." When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life. He poured on the charm, and Rochelle felt like finally, after more than 30 years, she had her chance to be with the guy she always wanted. Rochelle left everything to move out of state with him. They eventually m …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticity
Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who uses the name "Transcendence." I had not received so much confirmation or documentation of being in a “relationship” before. The biggest problem was that he managed to rarely see me in person and he had a habit of cancelling and sometimes even “FORGETTING” dates. My first intoxicating Romantic Narcissist occurred 4 years ago and I had never experienced a suitor so sexy, seductive, intelligent, well written with poetic prose and boyishly handsome with seeming innocence. I remember waiting desperately for a return txt ”¦ or phone call ”¦ obsessively ”¦ this man could send me to heaven or throw me into the black abyss. …
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Religion, spirituality and sociopaths
Editor's note: This article was written by the Lovefraud reader "Adelade." It refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Religious and spiritual beliefs are of extreme importance to people. More than their beliefs of themselves, people adhere to religious and spiritual doctrines because they give them a strong sense of continuity, comfort, and meaning. Teachings and rituals often fill in the gaps of what we cannot provide to ourselves or process as a result of living, dying, and the random events in Life that cause us to question, "Why did this happen?" The first thing that an invading culture or nation does is to take away or abolish the re …
Another reason to discuss psychopathy: Jane’s story
It is cleansing for people to discuss their experiences with psychopathy. Some stories are unbelievable, mimicking the material that should only appear in movies. Others pack a less dramatic punch, but are, perhaps, even more devastating. That's the nature of most brushes with psychopathy. When the stories are ours, however, it is not until we start to learn about the disorder, that we are able to begin making sense of the non-sense and heal. Without a working knowledge, success is rare. Our desire to identify and overcome is often how we end up here. Since I began sharing what I know, many have begun telling me of their struggles. Often, they have few words for the relief this brings …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Cognitive Dissonance and the Psychopath
Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Betsybugs." The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort and confusion that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs or beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the mental conflict. Psychopaths use cognitive dissonance to entangle victims, to keep victims confused and docile and to create pain. My story is a story of cognitive dissonance. My cognitive dissonance began in childhood when my father would go into rages, chase one of his daughters into a corner and beat the living daylights …
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Lovefraud reader gets con man Alistair Stewart jailed for his £600,000 con
Nina Siegenthaler, a smart, sophisticated real estate agent in the Turks and Caicos Islands, called me about 18 months ago, trying to figure out what had happened to her. She lost £600,000 to a British con man who posed as a former investment banker. Siegenthaler worked with British authorities to get the guy prosecuted. Last week, he pleaded guilty to fraud. He is now in jail awaiting his sentencing. Here's more on the story: 'I had to stop him fleecing other women': Caribbean victim of hedge fund fantasist lost more than £600,000 through 'dating a sociopath,' on Dailymail.co.uk. Conman's £600,000 fraud posing as retired Goldman Sachs billionaire, on Telegraph.co.uk. …
Lovefraud reader gets con man Alistair Stewart jailed for his £600,000 conRead More
Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: How Sociopaths Target Us and How We Bite
By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New Jersey Before I go into explaining in more detail the exercises to help you gather strength and lose fear to leave the sociopath (from my last article) it would be helpful to know how and why we end up reacting to the sociopath and getting attached and controlled in the first place. Predators are extremely astute at quickly assessing and targeting our vulnerabilities, whether consciously or subconsciously. It's very empowering to start becoming aware of what those vulnerabilities are that hook us and keep us hooked. Self-awareness, or “mindfulness,” is the most essential tool in going forward. It means to become conscious of our rea …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost myself in the relationship with a sociopath
Editor's note: The following article was submitted by a reader who writes as "Buffalo Girl." The boy across the street. I remember him back in the late 70's. My family had moved into the new neighborhood. I was 12. He was the popular 13-year-old who always hung out with the cool boys who were years older than him. And they seemed to idolize him. I remember the second day in my new catholic grammar school ”¦”¦ me, the new girl, and him already there for years. But the teachers were fed up with him. Second day of school. The head nun and a few teachers surrounded him in the hall. They were already frustrated and ganged up on him. Saying they've had enough and were not going to take anoth …
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Even with all that I now know, I got scammed
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I like to think of myself as pretty wise, now that I have learned to recognize most of the red flags of dishonesty and people high in psychopathic traits. But I recently got scammed by three people working in concert. They also scammed another party as well. I bought a dog that was actually stolen. Here's how it happened: I went to a web site in Georgia looking for dogs that are trained as protection dogs. They cost quite a bit of money, starting at about $5,000 and I knew this. This man offered me a “sport” trained dog for $4,000 plus freight which would put her in the $5,000 range, but he had a woman trainer here in Arkansas who could teach me to h …
Why we get hooked on unpredictable romance
Many Lovefraud readers have experienced the phenomenon of knowing that a romantic partner is unreliable and even bad for them, but they keep taking the person back. A psychiatrist explains why this happens. Blame your brain. I heart unpredictable love, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …