Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Adelade.” According to my counseling therapist, I became involved with sociopaths as a result of their motivations and their abilities to note my strengths and vulnerabilities. My vulnerabilities were formed during my childhood and manifested as a crippling condition termed, “shame core.” This core was based upon my experiences in a dysfunctional family environment of alcoholism. For whatever reasons, I believed that I was responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone, and I mean everyone. This false sense of responsibility prepared me for a lifetime of fear-based decisions and choices that included marryi …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, why, why did I say yes to a sociopath?
Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “IMarriedIt.” Names are changed. Thirteen years ago, I was an attractive, confident single woman. I owned a small house with 2 cats & a dog. I wasn't looking to date when I met a charsmatic man at work, Simon, or rather, he made a beeline for me. I told him I wasn't interested in dating. He then chose the words he knew would reassure me, that we could spend time together as just friends, but it wouldn't be dating. We did things together & had dinner as pals (so I thought). He amped up the charm and was likeable & witty, though I thought there was something a little strange about him. One night he rang my doo …
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Army Specialist Isaac Goodwin marries for money, and his wife commits suicide
By Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com Katherine Morris, a 22-year-old student about to graduate from the University of Maryland, left a final message on her iPhone: I am SO sorry for doing this to my parents in (sic) my friends, but I don't see myself ever being happy again. When I look at my future I don't see anything. I don't see kids. I don't see a husband. I don't see love. I don't see happiness. don't see a career. I just see more misery. It's easier this way. Please don't let him get away with what he's done & what he's doing. I didn't deserve this. I couldn't handle this. It completely depilitated (sic) me. Katherine's lifeless body was discovered in her car parked at …
Army Specialist Isaac Goodwin marries for money, and his wife commits suicideRead More
Psychopaths pushing our buttons
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Most of you know I have spent a good portion of my life training animals of various kinds dogs for obedience and to work livestock, horses, donkeys and cattle (oxen). When we train animals, we “condition” them to do X and they receive Y reward. Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist, conditioned dogs to expect to be fed by ringing a bell every time they got fed. Eventually when a bell was rung, even though there was no food in sight, the animals expected to be fed, and their bodies reacted by making them “slobber” at the mouth, just as they would if food were present. B.F. Skinner, and American psychologist, observed that animals who had intermittent re …
Sociopathic confidence and conviction, even when they’re lying
Downton Abbey was on TV last night, and Terry and I are among the millions of fans. Last night's episode (Season 3, Episode 4) ended in tragedy because of behavior that looked so familiar to me. (Spoiler Alert: The following description gives away the story.) Lord Grantham's daughter, Lady Sybil, is about to give birth. Rather than depend on the local country doctor, Dr. Clarkson, Lord Grantham has imported a more socially acceptable obstetrician, Sir Philip Tapsell, to deliver the baby. As the birth approaches, both doctors are in attendance at the estate. Lady Sybil starts acting incoherently. Dr Clarkson fears that she may be toxemic. He recommends that they rush to the hospital …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Marriage, betrayal, and no guilt whatsoever
Editor's note: The following was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Ruby." She wants to share her story because she is finding it hard to move on with her life. She lives in Europe and English is not her first language. When we got engage he come across really nice and kind person. Before i decided to get engage I have told him that I want this relationship based on honesty and truth and he said yeh I want the same. He come across as mummy little baby boy, which was not a problem for me, since I believe that person who love and respect his mother will do respect and care for me as well. He used to often say to me that after I get married to him, I will be the happiest woman on …
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The Red Flags of a Scammer
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Tonight on the news I heard where a local Arkansas non-profit had been scammed for over $100,000 by an employee. It is not uncommon in today's news to hear such things. I recently came into contact with someone involved with a non-profit group that I will call “ABC.org” because I do not believe the management of this group was in any way involved with what I think is the dishonesty of one of its employees. Here's how I became involved with this group's Texas representative. In the effort to get support for my protest of my son William Patrick Alexander's parole release, I decided to contact every “murder victim's support” group in Texas or nationa …
Notre Dame football star and dead girlfriend hoax
Television news was ablaze this morning with the story that Manti Te'O, star linebacker for the Notre Dame football team, had been duped by an online relationship with a woman who did not exist. Some commentators are saying that Te'O was in on the hoax. I do not know whether Te'O was a participant in the hoax, or whether he was a deceived victim. I do know that both scenarios are possible. Some online predators toy with people's emotions, apparently for the fun of it. Several Lovefraud readers have been snagged by such predators, believed they were in a relationship, and had their hearts broken when their online "partners" died—only to find out that the whole thing was a ruse. This ce …
Sociopaths and creepy trophies
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. First of all I want to thank everyone who commented on the posts that I've written over the last couple of years. Recently I did a post on How to speed date a sociopath. Whilst I make every effort to move on with my life after the psychopath, occasionally something will come up that causes me to think “Why do they do that?” So the topic of this post is whether or not any of you have experienced the following: In my book Dark Souls, I wrote about an occasion where my ex moved my cash card. A week later I found it hidden behind a bottle of sauce on the top of …
How to speed date a sociopath
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. For the three years since I broke up with the psychopathic ex I have remained single. I've met a few wannabe boyfriends, but unfortunately they have turned out to be disordered, so I never took it past the going for a coffee stage. Like many other victims, I've focused on my own recovery and have even written a couple of books on it to help other women. During the time I was dating this man, whom I call "Oliver" in the book, I was also friends with another man. We had met long before on a dating site but never consummated the relationship (i.e. had sex), and h …