By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Most of you know I have spent a good portion of my life training animals of various kinds dogs for obedience and to work livestock, horses, donkeys and cattle (oxen). When we train animals, we “condition” them to do X and they receive Y reward. Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist, conditioned dogs to expect to be fed by ringing a bell every time they got fed. Eventually when a bell was rung, even though there was no food in sight, the animals expected to be fed, and their bodies reacted by making them “slobber” at the mouth, just as they would if food were present. B.F. Skinner, and American psychologist, observed that animals who had intermittent re …
Sociopathic confidence and conviction, even when they’re lying
Downton Abbey was on TV last night, and Terry and I are among the millions of fans. Last night's episode (Season 3, Episode 4) ended in tragedy because of behavior that looked so familiar to me. (Spoiler Alert: The following description gives away the story.) Lord Grantham's daughter, Lady Sybil, is about to give birth. Rather than depend on the local country doctor, Dr. Clarkson, Lord Grantham has imported a more socially acceptable obstetrician, Sir Philip Tapsell, to deliver the baby. As the birth approaches, both doctors are in attendance at the estate. Lady Sybil starts acting incoherently. Dr Clarkson fears that she may be toxemic. He recommends that they rush to the hospital …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Marriage, betrayal, and no guilt whatsoever
Editor's note: The following was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Ruby." She wants to share her story because she is finding it hard to move on with her life. She lives in Europe and English is not her first language. When we got engage he come across really nice and kind person. Before i decided to get engage I have told him that I want this relationship based on honesty and truth and he said yeh I want the same. He come across as mummy little baby boy, which was not a problem for me, since I believe that person who love and respect his mother will do respect and care for me as well. He used to often say to me that after I get married to him, I will be the happiest woman on …
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The Red Flags of a Scammer
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Tonight on the news I heard where a local Arkansas non-profit had been scammed for over $100,000 by an employee. It is not uncommon in today's news to hear such things. I recently came into contact with someone involved with a non-profit group that I will call “ABC.org” because I do not believe the management of this group was in any way involved with what I think is the dishonesty of one of its employees. Here's how I became involved with this group's Texas representative. In the effort to get support for my protest of my son William Patrick Alexander's parole release, I decided to contact every “murder victim's support” group in Texas or nationa …
Notre Dame football star and dead girlfriend hoax
Television news was ablaze this morning with the story that Manti Te'O, star linebacker for the Notre Dame football team, had been duped by an online relationship with a woman who did not exist. Some commentators are saying that Te'O was in on the hoax. I do not know whether Te'O was a participant in the hoax, or whether he was a deceived victim. I do know that both scenarios are possible. Some online predators toy with people's emotions, apparently for the fun of it. Several Lovefraud readers have been snagged by such predators, believed they were in a relationship, and had their hearts broken when their online "partners" died—only to find out that the whole thing was a ruse. This ce …
Sociopaths and creepy trophies
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. First of all I want to thank everyone who commented on the posts that I've written over the last couple of years. Recently I did a post on How to speed date a sociopath. Whilst I make every effort to move on with my life after the psychopath, occasionally something will come up that causes me to think “Why do they do that?” So the topic of this post is whether or not any of you have experienced the following: In my book Dark Souls, I wrote about an occasion where my ex moved my cash card. A week later I found it hidden behind a bottle of sauce on the top of …
How to speed date a sociopath
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. For the three years since I broke up with the psychopathic ex I have remained single. I've met a few wannabe boyfriends, but unfortunately they have turned out to be disordered, so I never took it past the going for a coffee stage. Like many other victims, I've focused on my own recovery and have even written a couple of books on it to help other women. During the time I was dating this man, whom I call "Oliver" in the book, I was also friends with another man. We had met long before on a dating site but never consummated the relationship (i.e. had sex), and h …
Tim Blair, aka rapper Tim Dog, exposed by women who “invested” in his business schemes
Esther Pilgrim met Tim Blair on an online dating site. He was charming, attentive—then offered her a business proposition. Well, we all know how that goes. But turned out that Blair had run the same charade on multiple women from across the U.S. to the Netherlands to Australia. They worked together and turned the tables on him—with one women even going under cover. Watch the Dateline Show: Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy …
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Getting the sociopath out of your head
I once heard from a woman whom we'll call "Rochelle." She related her story of reconnecting with a long lost love, which turned out to be a fake love. As it is for many Lovefraud readers, the hardest part of breaking away was getting the sociopath out of her head. When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life. He poured on the c …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticity
Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who uses the name "Transcendence." I had not received so much confirmation or documentation of being in a “relationship” before. The biggest problem was that he managed to rarely see me in person and he had a habit of cancelling and sometimes even “FORGETTING” dates. My first intoxicating Romantic Narcissist occurred 4 years ago and I had never experienced a suitor so sexy, seductive, intelligent, well written with poetic prose and boyishly handsome with seeming innocence. I remember waiting desperately for a return txt ”¦ or phone call ”¦ obsessively ”¦ this man could send me to heaven or throw me into the black abyss. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticityRead More