Pastor Michael Wilkerson of the New Millennium Life Restoration Fellowship in Spring City, Pennsylvania, preached the “prosperity gospel.” The basic idea is this: God wants his followers to be prosperous, and they can find the road to wealth in faith, positive thinking and contributions to the church. This is what Wilkerson preached, and he followed up by inviting congregants to invest in his company, which was acquiring suburban mortgages. Last month, however, federal prosecutors accused Wilkerson and two others of conspiring in a $6.3 million mortgage fraud. The congregants have lost everything. The whole story appeared in yesterday's Philadelphia Inquirer. What I found really int …
Rape by deception
Lovefraud recently received an email from a woman in Israel. She says that she was involved with a man for almost two years, and had sexual relations with him. He promised that they would marry and have children. The guy seemed to have a wife, but he claimed it was a fake marriage to get a passport. Well, he was, in fact, married and leading a double life—a con man. The woman is trying to get him prosecuted for “rape by deception.” Yes, Israeli law includes the concept that consensual sex based on a false premise is rape. Here's the actual law: RAPE 345. (a) If a person had intercourse with a woman — (1) without her freely given consent; (2) with the woman's consent, which was ob …
Cigarettes And Sociopaths – Stop The Insanity
This week I am inspired to write following another intensely personal experience that happened to me the weekend before last. I was in London, attending Allen Carr's workshop “Easyway To Stop Smoking”. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that for most of my adult life I have been an on-off smoker. I have had countless long periods of non-smoking (six months, eighteen months”¦ two years was the longest) and I have never classed myself as a ”˜proper' smoker as I rarely exceeded ten a day. But I had been fooling myself. Because the fact is, as I learned last week, that I was an addict and I had been hooked right from the very start. During the course of the workshop, I came to the conclusion that add …
When therapists like sociopaths
Therapists aren't immune to the charms of sociopathic clients, including this therapist. Far from it. This is especially true in a couples dynamic where the client, as I've noted before, can disguise his sociopathic tendencies sometimes more effectively than when in individual therapy. But even when the disguise is off, and I know transparently that I'm dealing with a sociopathic individual, that still doesn't necessarily innoculate me from enjoying him possibly as a very engaging, friendly, even if superficial and manipulative, individual. This can, though, make for more difficulty, and thus more urgency, to be especially watchful not to succumb to his engaging side at the expense o …
From ‘I want to die in your arms’ to ‘get lost’
Here's another story of an allegedly cheating married man who, when busted, first denies he is married, then claims harassment. Married flying doctor 'flew his lover to Paris on a private jet during eight-month fling' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Why we fall for romance scams
Salon.com just posted an article about online romance scams, Facebook status: In a scam relationship, by Tracy Clark-Flory. The scams run like this: Perp finds a target online. They communicate via email, text and sometimes phone. Perp proclaims undying love. Maybe perp sends flowers and stuffed teddy bears. Perp suddenly has a dire emergency and needs money. Target sends money, and keeps sending money until there's none left. Apparently, romance scams—known as “love fraud,” according to the article—are a growth industry. The story quoted a man named Rob who lost $14,000 to a woman he never met. He is now a volunteer for RomanceScams.org, which has counseled 50,000 people who …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He will not let me go
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Gloria.” She's from Australia, and “pokies” are slot machine parlors. She would like some advice. I am a lady that had both hips replaced, my back fused in 2 places, and my neck also fused in 2 places. I met my love fraud when going through a court case, on my hip. My son has a mental illness. Met him at the pokies. I thought I met a wonderful man, he helped me out with my son, totally looked after me through a hip op. Told me he would look after me even if I was in a wheel chair, and even be my carer. I met his family and his parents, got engaged, was on cloud 9. If I won my court case we would get mar …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I left my family and friends to marry him
Editor's note: Last year, Donna Andersen appeared in the premiere episode of "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" on the Investigation Discovery Network. The show recently aired on Discovery Home and Health, a Spanish language station, in Central America. Lovefraud has heard from viewers in Mexico and Guatemala. Following is an e-mail from a woman whom we'll call “Blanca.” I saw your history in Discovery Home and Health here at Mexico, and I was surprised because everything you described was like a part of my personal life. I'm part of those worldwide victims, sadly here at Mexico there are not specific laws to deal with his kind of situation. My story began by e-mail. I really don't know …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: No Such Thing as a Free Lunch
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Peggywhoever.” The Perils of Gifts By Peggy Whoever We are taught to believe that people who give us gifts do so out of the goodness of their hearts. That they are kind, caring people. Gift-giving (including meals) makes us think that people love us, or like us at least. NOT. There are people that use gift-giving as a tactic for control, or for a mental tally they keep on what we “owe” them in the future. “I did this for you; therefore you should do this for me.” I propose that anyone who gives a gift should do so freely, willingly, and without expectations of a "payback." I have experienc …
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A story with a moral
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) My friends are always sending me funny emails and jokes. My box fills up with them every day, and some of them I have seen “a hundred” times before and I just delete them. But the following story, though I had seen it “a hundred” times before, struck me today, as it really does have a good moral. An old man, a boy and a donkey ”¨were going to town.”¨ The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame ”¦ the old man”¨ is walking and the boy is riding." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed”¨ positions. Later they passed some people who”¨ remarked, " …