Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains that everything in life changes. Then she offers you the secret for how to cope with change when it happens in your life. Read more about Liberty. It always amazes me to consider the wide range of emotions that the word "change" can evoke. Even without context, some people absolutely love it, relishing a new adventure, the next challenge, or an opportunity to expand themselves or their lives in some way. And then there are those people who dread it. They fear it more than almost anything else and do not know how to cope with change. But of course, …
With a sociopath, you can’t just “get over it.” You need to commit yourself to your emotional recovery. Some of these articles are sure to resonate with you.
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Email to self – do not go back to the disordered partner!
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as “Duped no more!" She wanted to remind herself why she should not go back to the disordered partner{A brief definition of my breaking NC, after almost 9 months, and a brief explanation of the experience and what I would say if I had to explain it to someone else. I had to send it to myself because there is nobody else but you who would understand}"I went back for you, with my heart in my hand and you just devoured it with no care nor consceince."Nothing has changed; don't listen no more; don't go back! This is it.I have seen and heard what I needed to and now it's time to move forward once and for all.I have s …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopath
Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader "Adelle." It's a thank you note to the sociopath who targeted her. You'll see why. To the sociopath: I just want to thank you for all the things you do that keep me away from you! Had you not done those things or continue to do them, I may have thought you'd changed. You know we here at Lovefraud sometimes give you sociopaths too much credit! You guys are not as bright and slick as we think you are. You keep doing the things that confirm who and what you are. If you would just walk away, respect and accept the fact that you have been dumped, maybe you could fool us again into thinking you have an ounce of dignity. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopathRead More
My heart felt full in Italy: A sign of recovery
I just spent two and a half wonderful weeks in Italy with my husband, Terry Kelly. We gave ourselves the trip for our 20th wedding anniversary. It was the trip of a lifetime, and multiple times in the first few days I said to Terry, “I can’t believe we’re here.” The art was astonishing, the food was delicious, and the people were warm and friendly. The entire time, my heart felt full. It was a feeling that I hope all Lovefraud readers can experience, even after a run-in with a sociopath.Rome, Naples and SicilyWe spent five days in Rome, five days in Naples and five days in Acireale, Sicily. In Rome we saw the major sites — the Colosseum, Vatican Museum, Sistine Chapel, St. Pete …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Layers of shame and guilt
UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who is herself a mental health professional about the layers of shame and guilt that she feels. Names have been changed.The sociopath has an amazing ability to determine who can be manipulated or is vulnerable. When I separated from my sociopath, I had to recognize how I was conditioned as a child to be trusting and compliant. I was rewarded when I took care of others; my parents wanted a kind child. Their shaping was successful and I care very well for others. What I lacked was the ability to care for myself and to discern who deserved my care, who would return the love and respect that I gave. Lack of this …
Manipulation, victim-blaming and deeper meaning
When so-called experts explain what makes people susceptible to manipulation, it often sounds like victim-blaming. But in many cases, like mine, these mainstream explanations may not completely explain what happened. Yes, the person doing the manipulating has bad intentions, but there may actually be a deeper meaning for the person who is manipulated.Wikipedia on psychological manipulationA Lovefraud reader once sent me a link from Wikipedia on the topic of psychological manipulation. The article reflected mainstream expert views on how people engage in psychological manipulation and why their targets fall for it. I’m fine with Wikipedia’s descriptions of what manipulators do. But as for why …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Partners in an unhealthy dance
UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a woman who posts as Willow888. She wrote about her unhealthy dance with a sociopath.I recently started to work through the awful morass of feelings that follow an interaction with a disordered person. These people are such deceptive and expert manipulators they can apparently draw in even the healthiest of partners, partly because their behavior is beyond normal imagining and experience. Just as we're taught to drive a car defensively, to suppose that every other driver is asleep at the wheel, we could still get taken unawares by a driver who aims at us head on, deliberately. That we wouldn't necessarily be ready …
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FREE introduction to ‘Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse’
UPDATED FOR 2025 WITH NEW GROUP DISCUSSIONS. Lovefraud is pleased to announce new group discussions for our webinar series called, Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress, presented by Liane Leedom, M.D.How do you recover from the abuse and trauma inflicted by a narcissist, antisocial or psychopath? In this 13-session program, Dr. Leedom helps you develop the skills to clear your head, deal with stress, gain control of your emotions and create deal with sociopathic behavior.Get started with a FREE introductory session:FREE! Your first step towards real recovery from narcissistic abuse and traumaHighlightsAbout Dr. Liane LeedomDr. Leedom is a …
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To survive a sociopath, we sometimes act like a sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2025. I almost didn't recognize myself. There I was, plotting with my cheating husband's mistress to steal money from his bank account. I was acting like a sociopath, although at the time I didn't know that my husband was a sociopath.Before I married James Montgomery, I never would have considered such an action. But after he convinced me to blow $227,000 on his ridiculous business schemes, and after I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam, I was angry, broke and desperate. I did what I had to do to survive.Maybe because of your own entanglement with a sociopath, you've found yourself doing things that you never, ever did before. This happened to "Stevie2018," who …
To survive a sociopath, we sometimes act like a sociopathRead More
After the sociopath, how to mend your broken heart
Sociopaths do not have the ability to love — but they’re really good at faking it. That’s one of the many true statements that I made in my TEDx talk. I was censored by TED — I don’t know why — so I finally re-recorded my speech and posted it on Youtube. I hope to warn you that sociopaths live among us, so you can protect yourself.But what if you’ve already encountered a sociopath? What if you’ve been deceived and betrayed, and you don’t know how or why it happened? What if you’re still in shock, or angry at yourself, or stuck in grief over the loss of your dreams?How to mend your broken heartIn my view, mending your broken heart is a process. It includes three broad categories of recovery — …
Three miserable Christmases with the sociopath, and how to heal from the memories
UPDATED FOR 2024. I spent three Christmases with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Every one of them was stressful, unhappy, worrisome and bereft of joyful holiday spirit. Now, however, I've recovered, and my Christmases are happy and loving. You, too, can recover. I promise.Here are my stories of Christmas Past:Christmas 1996We had known each other for five months. We'd already had a secret wedding in Australia with his friends and family. For friends and family in New Jersey, we were planning another wedding in January, complete with bridesmaids, a fancy reception for 60 guests and a six-piece band. Montgomery had already blown through $50,000 of my money and credit, and I did …
Three miserable Christmases with the sociopath, and how to heal from the memoriesRead More