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Recovery from a sociopath

How to dump the sociopath

How to dump the sociopathSuppose you realize that you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Or, your instincts are telling you that the person in hot pursuit of you is bad news. How do you end the involvement?

When you’re romantically involved with reasonably normal individuals, you usually try to spare their feelings. You don’t come out and say that they’re boring, or needy, or oafish, even if that’s what you feel. You make up excuses. You tell them that you’re getting back with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, even if that’s a lie. You say you’re just not ready for a relationship right now, even if that’s also a lie.

In essence, when breaking up with an okay person who just isn’t … Read more

Your Autonomic Nervous System and Healing from the Sociopath

By Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc

Do you feel like your body and mental/emotional state changed after an encounter or relationship with a sociopath?   Are you more frazzled, hypervigilant, with a potential sense of impending doom, increased anxiety and insomnia? Have you gained or lost weight? Are you having more digestive issues?

Many of these symptoms can be explained physiologically by changes in your autonomic nervous system. Your autonomic nervous system has two states between which it alternates, the sympathetic and parasympathetic.

The sympathetic state is your body’s fight or flight system which is meant to mobilize you away from danger. In the sympathetic state, your blood flow is shunted away from your digestive organs to your skeletal muscles … Read more

As you recover from the sociopath, remember to live

For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren’t just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath’s unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation.

No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives?

In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival.

Eventually, the crisis abates. We may not be living as we want … Read more

When you discover the appalling truth, do not confront the sociopath

You’ve felt like something was off about your romantic partner for a long time, but you could never quite figure out what it was. Then, suddenly and harshly, you learn the truth.

You discover that this person is cheating on you. Or forged your signature to open up credit cards. Or has kids you never knew about. Or is only pretending to go to work every day. Or is married to someone else.

However it happened, you learn that your partner is betraying you.

Your first instinct is to confront your partner and demand answers.

DON’T DO IT.

When you learn what is really going on, the best thing you can do is nothing, at least temporarily. Do … Read more

Donna Andersen and Attorney Megan Lyons talk sociopaths

How many sociopaths are there? What are some of the warning signs at a romantic partner is disordered? How are people with personality disorders diagnosed?

I address all of these topics — and more — in a wide-ranging conversation with Megan Lyons on her Transcending the Trauma of the Human Experience podcast.

Megan is an attorney who thoroughly understands what happens when someone is involved with a sociopath.  She presents two Lovefraud webinars:

How to Navigate a Court Proceeding when the Opposing Party is a Sociopath or Cluster-B Disordered Individual

Obtaining Injunctions Against a Sociopath

But because Megan had her own traumatizing experience, she understands that dealing with the legal issues is only part of the recovery process. … Read more

After the Narcissist, You Will Recover

“A Narcissist doesn’t just break your heart, they break your spirit….that’s why it takes so long to heal.” — narcissist_survivor

After experiencing and living through emotional abuse and trauma, there are days where you will feel like you can’t move forward, where you feel worthless, where nothing matters anymore…..but I am here to tell you recovery IS possible.

Right after the truth was revealed and after my relationship with my abuser ended, I was shocked, devastated, and a reeling mess. There were so many emotions that I would transition to, from hour to hour….for months. I couldn’t believe my reality or even comprehend that I had been taken to this place of depression and self-destruction. I suffered from … Read more

Attracting better partners by releasing unhealthy beliefs

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Emilie”:

I won’t go into the long, boring details of my 7+ year relationship with the sociopath that invaded my life. It’s the same basic story as always and plus, I think there’s some kind of email size limit. 🙂

Ever since I ended the engagement over 3 years ago, and finally terminated the relationship itself another year after, I’ve made comments (in a lighthearted, self deprecating fashion) that, “if you’re going to treat me like crap, then I’m the girl for you!” Yes, it gets chuckles from the people I’m around, but sadly it’s true.

I was watching a movie last night and was judging the

Read more

Trust after betrayal by the sociopath

For everyone here at Lovefraud, there came a time when we could no longer continue in denial. We were forced to admit that someone we trusted had betrayed us. We felt devastation, anger, humiliation, grief and every other negative emotion on a therapy checklist.

We also berated ourselves for our naiveté, kicked ourselves for our gullibility, and castigated ourselves for trusting someone who shouldn’t have been trusted. Overwhelmed by pain, we may have vowed that we would never trust again.

Hold on. As human beings, we need to trust. Human society is built on trust. The key is to determine who is trustworthy, and who is not.

Trust and human society

I wrote previously about Paul Zak’s book, … Read more

FREE 10-day Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit!

If you’re involved with a sociopath, you are most likely enduring emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse can include verbal assault, dominance, control, isolation, ridicule, and much more. It targets your emotional and psychological well-being, and can be just as damaging as physical abuse. If you’re enduring emotional abuse, or trying to recover from it, this summit is for you.

The Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit includes over 45 expert speakers who provide in-depth, real-world information on how to identify and get out of abusive situations. This is a FREE online 10-day video series, although you have the option to purchase the series so you can refer to it whenever you need reassurance or advice.

I am one of … Read more

Dr. Laura Rubiales: Sociopaths, PTSD and the Mind Body Connection

By Dr. Laura Rubiales

After reading an e-mail with the accusatory gibberish/provoking/non-responsibility-taking BS that only a sociopath or other bona-fide Cluster B personality disordered person can seem to write, I found myself with palpitations, panicked, blood pressure rising, on the verge of a spiking migraine and barely able to breathe. I immediately called a girlfriend to therapeutically debrief. In her gorgeous Louisiana Southern drawl she said, “Darlin,’ you just don’t mess with crazy.”

In all I have learned about the nervous system from over 20 years of studying and working with sick people, let me tell you why it is best to just “not mess with crazy” from a physiological perspective.

We have what is called an autonomic … Read more

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