As I learned more and more about the depths of my one-time husband's deception and betrayal, one of the things I kept asking myself was this: How did I get myself into this mess? I was a college-educated journalist and business owner. I'd been dating for more than 20 years. Yet nothing this man promised me was real, and I couldn't see it until it was far too late. How did this happen? Since my personal experience, and hearing from thousands of Lovefraud readers, I've discovered that we all have vulnerabilities, and sociopaths are experts at finding them. Recognizing our own vulnerabilities will help us understand why we were targeted, and what we have to do to recover. More importantly, …
Pathological Liars are Sociopaths, Sociopaths are Pathological Liars
Lies and Cheats I think to myself in retrospect of all the occurrences where the SP was telling a COMPLETE lie.  Of course, at the time, I knew something wasn't right, but I wanted him to make it right.  I wanted him to prove to me what he was really saying was true, which he never did.  For a very long time I did not want to believe he was cheating...that much.  I couldn't fathom it.  But he was. Surprise Visit I went to teach dance every Thursday evening and he came home from our office early so I could beat the traffic.  9 times out of 10 he was late, so I eventually had to tell him the schedule at work had changed to earlier, so when he was late, I would still be on time. One day I decide …
Pathological Liars are Sociopaths, Sociopaths are Pathological LiarsRead More
Pets and recovery from sociopaths
For the first time in 12 years, we've had a dog in the house. Terry and I have been watching our nephew's dog while he and his parents are on vacation. The dog, Cade, is a frisky 15-month-old mix. I don't know what breeds are in the mix, but Cade looks a lot like Beau, the dog I had while married to the sociopath and the dog who kept me company as I recovered from my ex-husband's destruction. I've been having flashbacks. Cade follows me around the house the way Beau did. He curls up in the same spots on the carpet that Beau liked. And he gets in the same kind of trouble that Beau did when he was young. I'm loving every minute of it (okay, I could do with a little less chewing). Cade …
Maintaining No Contact with a Sociopath
Boundaries? Â I Don't Know What Those Are It's amazing how even after years and months go by of you making it perfectly clear what kind of contact you want with the sociopath, they don't reciprocate your boundaries. Â I think it's just mind boggling over and over again in my mind that this concept of boundaries is so foreign to them, and they have no means, let alone intentions, of adhering to them. I mean normal people who find out other people don't want them to contact them anymore, just...stop. Â But the sociopath does the exact opposite. Â They continue to push buttons, push boundaries, push limits. Â There is a constant alertness on the part of the person that set up the boundaries against t …
Suffering PTSD from a Sociopath and asking God for help
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. The Downward Spiral to the Bottom A year and a half after the downward spiral of a 10 year relationship came to the ground, I started noticing new behaviors of mine surface. Â New thoughts, new spikes in anger, outward and physical expressions of fear, anxiety, being paranoid, scared. I'm not sure why in my case it took longer to surface. Â It could be because I was dealing internally with so many other facets of breaking free like the divorce, custody battles, financial wars and deep betrayal and confusion over the last year. Episodes I started to have these "episodes" t …
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The Maria Story and My Dog’s Stress – Sociopaths Doing What They Do Best
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Maria #1 Let's start with the wonderful fact that this story is about Maria...number one.  Yes there were two Maria stories in my marriage to a sociopath.  This is the first one.  I first found out about Maria on a secondary phone the sociopath had.  There's another story that brings me to finding the secondary phone, but I will start with when I first found out about Maria.  It was a Saturday night and of course spath "had to go and check the jobs."  I had given birth to my little one about a month prior and was at home with her.  I put her to sleep and then went for th …
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Something I Have Always Thought but Have Never Said-Celiac and Sociopaths
Celiac Disease is an auto immune disease similar to diabetes. Â People are genetically predisposed to have it, however certain risk factors can contribute to the onset of symptoms if you are genetically predisposed to CD like trauma or stress, among other things. Â When I was growing up I was extremely healthy and strong. Â I can only remember maybe one time being sick of any kind. My physical body was very strong and I ate like a pig! Â I was in great shape because I danced competitively, racking up maybe 10-15 hours of training a week. Â About 6 months of being in a relationship with a sociopath, I slowly started to have these odd symptoms. Â The damage had already been done in the relationship a …
Something I Have Always Thought but Have Never Said-Celiac and SociopathsRead More
Divorce Settlements-Strategically Giving Them What They Want: Financials with a Sociopath Part 5 of 5
Part of a Now 5 Week Series: Week 1: Â Running a Business with a Sociopath Week 2: Â The Downfall of a Business with a Sociopath Week 3: Preparing for Divorce Week 4: Divorce and Aftermath Part A Week 5: Â Divorce and Aftermath Part B Divorce and Aftermath Part B Now that I knew the business was indeed going bankrupt, I had to make a decision. Â I knew by this time the only way to get what I needed was to make him think that he was getting what he wanted. Â I knew that he would not stop the fighting in this divorce if he did not get what he wanted. Â He would not care how much money we spent on attorney's fees and court. Â Having someone to fight with was actually a bonus for him. Â He liked the chao …
The chess game called divorce: Financials with a sociopath, Part 4 of 5
Part of a Now 5 Week Series: Week 1:  Running a Business with a Sociopath Week 2:  The Downfall of a Business with a Sociopath Week 3: Preparing for Divorce Week 4: Divorce and Aftermath Part A Week 5:  Divorce and Aftermath Part B Divorce and Aftermath Part A Writing this I feel like I am only writing general statements about what happened.  The amount of upheaval that came with each situation and the time and effort it took to even get to these occurrences was insane.  I remember spending 8 straight hours compiling evidence and documentation and recitals for my attorney about my role in the business on a regular basis.  It was a full time job, maybe about 30 hours a week when it was …
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New Jersey sex trafficking victim recovers her life
To say that the 38-year-old woman, identified as "M.S." in Atlantic County court documents, had a hard life is a profound understatement. Her father was murdered by a serial killer. Her abusive mother abandoned her. A boyfriend got her hooked on heroin. Then another man promised to help her get her son back, but forced her into prostitution. M.S. eventually escaped, and helped put the trafficker in prison. Under a New Jersey law to help victims of sex trafficking, she just had her criminal record expunged. It's an unbelievable story, and evidence that no matter how bad things are, recovery is possible. Atlantic County sex charges expunged for human-trafficking victim, on …
New Jersey sex trafficking victim recovers her lifeRead More