Thank you for your continuing comments after my posts. I feel deeply honoured to be here, and I am so glad that my stories seem to help in some way - it makes all the bad experiences worthwhile! As each new week arrives, and the time comes to writing an article, I look back and search for something that has hit home in some way shape or form. Something that has made a difference to me and that, therefore, I hope will be of value to my friends here on Lovefraud. This week there have been a couple of things — a photograph that a friend sent to me was one of them. It was one of those quotes that tends to do the rounds on social media sites. One with a photograph and a motivational or p …
Taking care of ourselves–FIRST!
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Wearing my “nurse Joyce hat” is part of what I am, although I am retired. Even though I am no longer in practice giving out specific medical advice to patients and billing insurance companies, Medicare and private payers for the advice, I still am inclined to look at things from a medical point of view. One of the things I used to teach my diabetic patients about their condition was that I was the “coach” and they were the “team.” I could not get out on the field of life and play the “game” they had to do it. But if I were not a good “coach,” and didn't teach them the “rules of the game,” they were not going to be able to play a good game. I told them t …
Stolen Time
By: Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed Last year, I re-connected via social media, with a childhood friend who I had not seen in years. As mothers with children of similar ages, we had a lot to catch up on. As we did, I learned that she has two children who are suffering from a misunderstood and often misdiagnosed disorder. She is a wonderfully positive person, who freely discusses her children's struggles, in hopes of educating others about the issue. She advocates fiercely for them, yet seems to successfully strike a balance between speaking on their behalf and encouraging their independence. The same, only different Over time, as I learned more, I found that I identified with …
Lifters And Drainers – Finding Sanity After Crazy!
As is my usual way here on this site, I'm writing this week about something that's hit home to me once again. This time, it's about the subject of Lifters and Drainers, Boosters and Bursters, Gremlins and Heroes”¦. Yes, I have plenty of terms for the subject I'm about to explain. But what, exactly, am I talking about you may ask? Well, I'm talking about how we are influenced in the ways in which we operate. Taking both extremes, it's the differences between whether we feel up, positive, poised and ready, or whether we feel tired, drained, despondent and depressed. Specifically in this case, I'm going to focus on two direct ways in which we are influenced — the people around us, and our ow …
Launch today: Red Flags of Love Fraud, plus Workbook, plus e-book!
Today, my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath, becomes available on Amazon.com and through all other distribution channels. This book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. It explains how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it's hard to escape the relationships, and how people can protect themselves. Of course, Red Flags of Love Fraud has been available in the Lovefraud Store for several months, and many of you have written to me to say that it precisely describes your experience. Here is one of your letters: I stumbled across your site in 12/2011 ”¨while Go …
Launch today: Red Flags of Love Fraud, plus Workbook, plus e-book!Read More
Psychopaths rape the soul
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I was reading an article the other day that talked about “justice” for victims. It said that a rape victim is “made whole” after his or her attack when the perp is put in prison. How can a victim of violent rape be “made whole,” no matter what justice is meted out to their attacker? It can't be done. There are some things that can never be “fixed” like they were before the damage, and I believe the “soul rape” by the psychopaths is one of those things. Some of you who have been physically raped may ask, “What do you know about rape?” Well, my bona fides are that my psychopathic sperm donor beat and raped me when I was 19, so I have been both physically …
Lessons from Jurassic Park: Sociopaths simply are
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." She previously wrote "12 steps of recovery from love fraud." I very much enjoy reading, especially those fictitious works that cause me to think and learn. Without a doubt, nearly everyone has seen the movie, Jurassic Park, based upon a book that was written by Michael Crichton over 20 years ago. Well, I re-read the book over the long Memorial Day weekend. It is far, far different from the movie, and drives home the ramifications of the human myth of “control.” If you haven't read the book, I would urge you to do so, simply because it speaks to a part of the human condition that is inherent in …
Diamonds After All – Discovering Self-Worth After The Sociopath
This week I'd like to start off with another quote. As with many phrases I've come to value, it was sent to me by a good friend when I was going through one of my darker periods. Even today it still makes me smile: “A diamond is a chunk of coal that is made good under pressure” It's particularly relevant to me this week because I'm discovering all manner of riches around me at the moment. In most cases, treasures that have been hidden away from view and that are only now coming to the surface. I've been doing a little DIY at home you see. It's all part of my process to reclaim my space. Making my home my own home, arranging my space and my stuff the way I like to have everything arranged. …
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Guilty Until Proven Innocent
This week finds me well and truly back on my soapbox. Because I am feeling suitably goaded to address the somewhat emotive subject of the lack of support and comprehension offered to victims of abuse. The fact that too many people in various circles (friends and family, law and order and other professionals) simply don't ”˜get' what it means to be held captive in a manipulative relationship. I know many of us here in the Lovefraud community have already experienced the indignity of having to convince people of the validity of what we know to be true. I'm of course familiar with the remarks from well-intentioned friends and relatives that go along the lines of “he/she always seemed such a n …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Mind the gap
Editor's note: This artice was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "One/joy_step_at_a_time." I have been thinking a lot about Donna's May 28 blog thread, If you feel an emotional void, the sociopath will step in, and the responses to it. Tonight I took a long walk and sat down by the lake and thought about what the spath drew out in me. She showed me ”˜the gap.' It's humourous to me to type the phrase ”˜the gap.' When I lived in Eastern Europe, I heard a phrase over the loud speakers at the train station, over and over again. I finally asked a friend the meaning of the phrase, and he told me it meant, ”˜mind the gap between the platform and the train.' I haven't minded the g …