How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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How my sociopath ex-husband used lies and CPS to take my kids away

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Andrea19." Names are changed. I separated from my ex husband/sociopath in May of 2014. He lied in court under oath in on February 2015 and I had full custody of both kids for 8 months. We divorced in July 2015. October 2015 we had joint custody of both kids. Then my ex had both of my kids for three weeks in a row to take them on a cruise. I had a bad feeling with him having them for an extended period and I was right. He used the time to coach my daughter to say my boyfriend at the time had inappropriately touched her. On the day my daughter went to an unscheduled counselor …

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Children with a sociopath — do you stay or do you go?

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Finally figuring out, after years of marriage and a couple of kids, that your partner is a sociopath, is a good news/bad news situation. The good news: You are not crazy. You were not imagining things and you were not overreacting. There is a bona fide, medical reason for the insanity you have been enduring — your spouse has a serious personality disorder. The bad news: Now that you know what the problem is, you need to figure out what to do about it — and all of the options are difficult. I'm writing this blog in response to the post in the Lovefraud Forum submitted by "Gccc," called 16 years, 2 children later, my life imploded. A death of sorts. Following is what she wrote. The Vo …

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Man charged with killing his wife hours after a nonprofit posted his bail

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On April 4, 2019, Samuel Scott, of St. Louis, Missouri, was arrested on a misdemeanor assault charge. In January, he had hit his wife, Marcia Johnson, and threatened to kill her. The judge set his bail at $5000. On April 9, 2019, the St. Louis Bail Project, part of a national nonprofit that bails people out of jail, posted Scott's bail. Also on April 9, 2019, Scott was served with a restraining order, prohibiting him from entering his wife's home or coming within 300 feet of her. But on April 9, 2019 around 7:45 pm, Scott went to his wife's home and beat her. A friend found her unconscious, with a broken eye socket and several broken ribs. Police say she was nearly dead with severe …

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Issues you should consider before taking a sociopath to court

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Lovefraud received the following email: I was previously married to a sociopath, and we have a 4-year-old son together.  I have sole legal and physical custody of our son, but have been fighting to reduce the amount of visitation for quite some time.  I recently read that having a forensic psychological analysis done on the entire family would reveal that my ex is a sociopath and possibly prevent him from having ANY visitation going forward.  Is this true, in your experience?  Do you have any advice for me as I embark on this process? Many, many Lovefraud readers have realized — to their horror — that they've had a child or children with a sociopath (someone with antisocial, narcissistic, b …

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Legal Abuse Syndrome: the result of facing sociopaths in court

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Book review — Legal Abuse Syndrome: A Preventable Public Health Problem, by Dr. Karin Huffer Review by Donna Andersen You're traumatized by your experience with a sociopath. Then you face a divorce, child custody or some other court battle against the sociopath — and you're traumatized all over again. The sociopath lies about you, smears your reputation and makes false accusations against you. So do his or her attorneys. And the clueless judge allows all of it. Thirty years ago, Dr. Karin Huffer, a marriage and family therapist, witnessed this phenomenon among her clients. No matter what she did to help them, they kept getting worse. Then she realized that everything she did for the …

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Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland

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Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …

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If you must fight a sociopath, you cannot be nice

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Sociopaths do not believe that the rules apply to them. They do not fight fair. Therefore, if you choose to fight a sociopath, or if you have no choice but to fight a sociopath, your own fighting style will need to become aggressive as well. If you're a nice person, if you typically want to do what's fair for everyone involved — well, that doesn't work with a sociopath. A sociopath's objective is not to be fair. It's to win, and possibly annihilate you in the process. To survive the battle, you'll need to act in a way that is probably contrary to your nature. It will be uncomfortable, but necessary. First decision — do you fight? Here's the first and most important decision: Do …

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Bikers protect kids who must testify against abusers

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/c-5X5LSInEo"] Guardians of the Children is a biker organization that protects victims of child abuse. When a child must testify agains an abuser in court, the bikers escort the child to the courthouse, keep the child surrounded, and sit in the courtroom during the testimony. Their actions make the children feel protected. This organization is based in San Antonio, Texas, and has chapters in 20 states. I would like to see them everywhere. More information: Guardians of the Children …

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To better protect victims, UK strengthens stalking laws

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Four years ago, a new stalking law enabled prosecutors in England and Wales to charge offenders with stalking, even when their behavior falls short of creating a fear of violence in the victim. The idea was to stop stalking behavior, especially in domestic violence cases, before it escalated. Authorities have announced new orders that extends the law so that it protects people who are being stalked by strangers. Police can apply to the courts for orders to make stalkers stay away from their victims, before the stalker has been convicted, or even arrested. Stalking: New orders planned to give quick protection, on BBC.com. New stalking legislation helps to bring thousands more prosecutions …

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Invisible Intimate Partner Abuse and How to Manage Coercive Control in Court

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By Dr. Karin Huffer — editor Wilene Gremain In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here's a composite story drawn from my cases: I was a successful college educated thirty-something when I finally met my soul mate on a cruise ship to Alaska. Independent thinker, educated, ecology minded, career oriented, honest, he was almost the mirror image of myself as far as these qualities, two of a kind. We had it all. I was incredibly happy. Anything ”¦ we would do anything to show the love and respect we felt for each other. “Marry Me?” “You Bet!” After almost one year of marriage and closing in on our first Christmas together, I was at full throttle to make the best ever Christma …

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