Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Ellen19." I got married at 16 to a guy who was supposed to be a football star. He acted like he was very moral — never lying, never carousing. He was supposed to have had a 3.89 grade average. So popular, smart and moral — his family kept backing him up, and the occasional neighbor would come by to tell me how lucky I was. Fast forward 29 years. I finally divorce him because for the 15 years he was living off me, he had money but he refused to pay bills or provide food. I weighed 83 pounds and he weighed 220. Once I got away from him I found out he casually had sex almost daily and he was giving me H …

Married to a sociopath at 16 and living a lie for 29 yearsRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte19." Names and details have been changed. It was blind love. Yes, actual blind love. In 2016, as a widowed mom to three boys for 13 years and true empath, having run non-profits for nearly 25 years, I was ready, now that boys were young men, to explore real adult committed relationships. I’d recently ventured into online dating and even met a charming British beekeeper, who upon learning was “shockingly into polyamory,” I had placed in the “friends only” category. Having just lost my 6 figure job due to non-profit board politics, I walked into that all years high school reunion at the age of 54... …

The sociopath got me so trauma bonded, embarrassed and defeated that I said yes to his demandsRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Evelyn19. Names have been changed. I came to North from Florida as a traveling RN. Needless to say, traveling for work gives me financial stability and independence but it can be lonely. After moving into a month to month apartment in June and realizing that all the windows had been nailed shut and the place didn't have air-conditioning let alone a ceiling fan, I had to find someplace that was cool. I left work at 8 pm on a Tuesday in a town I'm not from, so the options are limited of where to go. So you guessed it! I go to the closest bar for a few drinks and contemplation of how to go back to my …

Thinking he was gay, she let her guard down, but he was a sociopathRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Cathy19. Names have been changed. To start my ex husband was clinically diagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with sociopath tendencies and OCD (random I know but wanted to be thorough). I had five years of marriage and two kids with him. Almost ten years later I'm still dealing with him but distance between us geographically has helped. On the downside I remarried, which is how the geographical divide came about. After six months in court being attacked from all angles by the ex in an effort to stop the move, it turns out the good guy I thought I knew and had now married...was undeniably …

After divorcing one diagnosed narcissist, marrying another oneRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Lisa19." We met at my best friend’s 5-year wedding anniversary party. He was a friend of her husband. She is a trust fund kid, and worth multi-millions. My ex had clearly come especially to that party in New York, from his home in Virginia, to find his next target, while still technically married to his 2nd wife. I was “the best friend,” who happened to be single. He was charming in the extreme and I practically fell in love with him that night. He sunk his claws in exactly on purpose. We had a 1 year long-distance relationship which consisted primarily of him visiting me at my condo in Florida. Once …

My ex-husband is a sociopath, and this cannot be fixedRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Anthony19." I’m very unsure still about what I experienced. Maybe it was nothing but a typical relationship. I did talk with a therapist that I believed specialized in emotional abuse, and she told me she believes I have an anxious attachment issue. I also talked with one other therapist that turned me on to gaslighting, which I had never heard of before and that is how this whole thing got started. My childhood friend is a therapist and he verified some of the things I’ve been reading about and thinking, however after the last visit to this therapist that mentioned anxious attachment issues, I’m feeling …

He was dating a female sociopath – no wonder he is confusedRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Angie19." I was involved with my narcissist for a little more than 11 years, for which 4-6 months out of each year he would discard me. The process would start out with him giving me enough rope to hang myself by pushing the buttons he knew would get me to say something he could later use to “play victim” and claim “it always comes back to this” or “why, every time, do we have to go thru this.” It would be followed up with the standard guilt trip, topped off by demeaning me, which he was very good at doing. He had a talent to be very hurtful with very few words. He would continue this beat-down unti …

The narcissist discarded me every year for 11 yearsRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette19." I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact. Dear ex Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the only person who knew how to love me, …

Letter to a sociopathic ex: You ruined meRead More

Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call  “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …

Dangerous Liaisons: Is his goal to break me?Read More