How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The biggest sociopath was right under my nose, cleverly disguised as my husband

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  Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as "jukidragonfly" tells her story. Approximately 8 years ago I was the victim of a con-artist/sociopath. At that time I found “Lovefraud” and verified that my encounter had indeed been with a sociopath and con artist. This was the first time in my naive life that I entertained and considered that such individuals existed and was my emotional 9/11. Little did I know at this time that this was merely an entrée for what lay ahead. Fast forward 8 years and I now realise that the biggest sociopath that I had in my life was right under my nose, cleverly disguised as a magnanimous, caring, empathic individual, and who was also my husband. I spea …

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Nobody understands the level of deceit he is capable of

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  Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Irma." I am currently detaching from a Malignant Narcissist, we were together almost 15 years and have 3 children. He became increasingly violent in the last 3 years; I had a non violent honeymoon period of almost 7 years ”¦ I now know he was just managing me down in ways I didn't even notice for years ”¦ Since I ended our relationship (he punched me 9 times to the head), he and the in-laws have banded together to literally drive me insane ”¦ CPS was called and they were told I was the abusive one, the one with addictions, that I was mentally unstable and a danger to myself and the children …

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I am legally not allowed to protect my child from his sociopathic father

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Editor's note: Lovefraud recevied the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Clarissa." I met the sociopath when I was a 16-year-old Crown Ward on "Independent Living." He was older than me and in the Army. I was in high school. I became pregnant at 17. Children's Aid attempted to abandon me and have me instead rely on social services. The sociopath (father) wanted me to abort the child or keep it   not put it up for adoption. He would not have a child of his in the world where he could not control it. I had been considering adoption or having the child on my own and didn't want him involved. His mother, possibly also sociopathic, met me in secret urging me to make a family with her s …

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Cancer at Christmas – Living in a Sociopath’s World

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When Things Were I used to be so good at taking care of things like decorating my house for Christmas with shades of red, green and gold, carefully outlining dark corners with beautiful, gleaming lights to create that wonderful, cozy ambiance of a home filled with love and joy—the way it should feel at Christmas time. There were carefully thought out, warm meals prepared, music filling the crisp air, homemade Christmas sweets to grab on the way out the door, and soft, warm blankets on every couch for that last minute snuggle.  I would intentionally direct my energies towards evoking wonder with my family and daughter every day of December. Denial of Darkness I lived in my own reality of den …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I talked about my real feelings, and she replied ‘Mission accomplished’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a man whom we'll call "Miran." It is very shocking to me to come to know that these people do exist in Life. I always lived in a world with good people around me, and never faced any emotional traumas in my life (I am 34 BTW). I met this girl, she is 22, cute, intelligent, amazing smile, not over pretty but something charming in her I could not understand. We started chatting and texting for a period of 4 months (on and off) and she always made me feel confused, even though we met more than once (not as dates) and we exchanged kisses more than once (she initiated). The whole scenario kept me confused, and I always felt reluctant to …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath got my brain twisted right away

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "freebird." Names have been changed. My story started July 24th. I had just joined plentyoffish.com, very ambivalently, as I was looking to hopefully meet someone worthy of my time. I received a message from "Karl." He was soooo hot, five years younger than me, just moved here from New York. I've always had a thing for the northerners. I found myself excited to get his messages, and the only reason I'd get on it at one point was just to talk to him. We switched numbers and talked a little before we met. He told me that he moved here to start a company with the goals of it merging with his prior company, and that …

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10 rules for keeping psychopaths and Cluster Bs out of your life

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Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader "Jay Anthony" posted the following as a comment on November 10. It is reproduced as an article so that readers who may have missed it can benefit from Jay Anthony's insight. Highly sensitive individuals are certainly going to suffer from shock, among other deep emotional symptoms, after dealing with a psychopath. I was raised in a highly dysfunctional Italian family so the ability to rebound has helped tremendously in adult life. My childhood was a sink or swim situation of whose lessons I've carried into adulthood. This has made it much easier to overcome the experiences I've personally had with psychopaths/sociopaths (and there has been more than …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I should feel lucky to be free of the sociopath, but it’s tearing me up!

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Caitlyn." I was being lied to for about 6 months by the guy I had been dating. He was very charming, great sense of humor, and seemed to be very caring and genuine. Always told me I was beautiful and after about a month or so he loves me and is in love with me! Red flag number one! Why did he say those words that soon!!? I chose to ignore it because he seemed different and the chemistry was great. He also said things to make me think we were soul mates and we were going to have a future. Away a lot He is an otr trucker so he's gone a lot. We've gone out of town a few times, dated, etc. but I started to feel …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I should feel lucky to be free of the sociopath, but it’s tearing me up!Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He painted a future, telling me how we were going to make this work

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Gabriela." She lives outside of the United States. My heart is aching because of what happened to me. I met a guy, I don´t know if he´s a sociopath, but he betrayed me. I met him once in at the pool area in a casino hotel in the U.S. I was traveling there with some family, I´m from another country. We had this great chemistry since that day that we met. We spoke for hours, invited me to go out but I couldn't. Then I came back to my country but kept that in love feeling that I had never felt before. I couldn´t even understand it because we only saw each other for those few hours, but still I searched him on fa …

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He’s a sociopath – he’s been lying to me since the day I met him

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Arlene." Five months ago I found myself in one of the worst situations of my life. I found out that my boyfriend, the love of my life, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and grow old with, the man I thought I knew better than he knew himself, of 8 years ... was a total stranger and never existed. This is my story. I started dating a man 11 years older than me when I was 24 years old; I am now 33. We supposedly, in my mind, fell in love very quickly. Three months in, he took me shopping for a wedding ring, and two weeks later he told me that he had been making payments on the one that I loved, …

He’s a sociopath – he’s been lying to me since the day I met himRead More