Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales Archives | Page 50 of 56 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I feel stupid that I was blind

July 5, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 35 Comments

Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Roger." I am writing this from Tokyo, Japan and would like to tell you about my experience with a person that "conned" me. Last year I experienced having a very short relationship with a lady that fits the description of being a sociopath: has no heart, no conscience and no remorse. In addition, now I know that she thought nothing of lying, cheating and stealing my money! I met this lady, who is a full-time lecturer at a university here in Tokyo (as am I) at a dinner party in June last year. It was arranged by a person whom I know (and trusted) and his wife, and they were trying play "Cupid." He, too, is a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Can you help a woman who is trying to hold on?

June 21, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 26 Comments

Editor's note: I received this email a few days ago from a Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Larissa." At first I declined to publish it, because Larissa is raw with pain, to the point of seriously considering suicide, and I was afraid that it would trigger other readers. She said she was going to a hospital for help, if she could find someone to watch her dogs. Well, she found a dog-sitter. She went to the hospital. The hospital sent her home, telling her to see a psychiatrist. This woman is in need of support. She needs to be heard. She needs to be understood. Therefore, I am publishing her letter. If you are raw with pain yourself, it is probably best that you don't read it. But if …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopath

June 4, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 10 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader "Adelle." To the sociopath: I just want to thank you for all the things you do that keep me away from you! Had you not done those things or continue to do them ”¦ I may have thought you'd changed. You know we here at Lovefraud sometimes give you sociopaths too much credit! You guys are not as bright and slick as we think you are. You keep doing the things that confirm who and what you are. If you would just walk away”¦ respect and accept the fact that you have been dumped, maybe you could fool us again into thinking you have an ounce of dignity. Instead you do what you do ”¦ stalk, harass, annoy ... confirming who a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: What would you do and what would you think?

June 1, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 69 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Maryjane." If your husband, whom you found out had affairs all during your marriage, had a child with his secretary, paid her hush money, came onto your mother, grandmother, and another sister, told you that he had an affair with your sister ”¦ during the time frame that you were readying for divorce, would you believe him? Also, this man gambled away most all the money in the marriage on football and golf betting (at a country club that you were the member of, not him, as he ran up bills) and was an alcoholic ”¦ And at the time, that piece of info about your sister, was just a part of the entire hurtful …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Mind the gap

May 29, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 104 Comments

Editor's note: This artice was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "One/joy_step_at_a_time." I have been thinking a lot about Donna's May 28 blog thread, If you feel an emotional void, the sociopath will step in, and the responses to it. Tonight I took a long walk and sat down by the lake and thought about what the spath drew out in me. She showed me ”˜the gap.' It's humourous to me to type the phrase ”˜the gap.' When I lived in Eastern Europe, I heard a phrase over the loud speakers at the train station, over and over again. I finally asked a friend the meaning of the phrase, and he told me it meant, ”˜mind the gap between the platform and the train.' I haven't minded the g …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Partners in an unhealthy dance

May 24, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 34 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a woman who posts as Willow888. I recently started to work through the awful morass of feelings that follow an interaction with a disordered person. These people are such deceptive and expert manipulators they can apparently draw in even the healthiest of partners, partly because their behavior is beyond normal imagining and experience. Just as we're taught to drive a car defensively, to suppose that every other driver is asleep at the wheel, we could still get taken unawares by a driver who aims at us head on, deliberately. That we wouldn't necessarily be ready for. Information about toxic relationships often mentions typical …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us

May 10, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 122 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call Hilary. Names are changed. The night before I met Nick, I had a vivid nightmare. I lost sight of a caring man in a chaotic crowd, a baby was murdered, and I was poisoned. I awoke and heard, "Wait for the right one. Don't try to save him. You'll ruin yourself and your future." The thought was so pervasive that, although I was perplexed, I wrote it down. The following afternoon, I met Nick (with whom I'd connected on a dating site) on his boat at the local marina, and an afternoon sail turned into an “accidental” dinner with his parents and sister, drinks afterward, and hours of conversation late into the n …

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LETTERS TO LOVE FRAUD: When life ain’t fair

April 26, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 32 Comments

Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader called “Adelade.” Her previous post is "This is the time for me to learn who I am." I'm having a really tough time, these days. The divorce hearing is coming down to the wire, and I am very fearful that the sociopath ex-husband is going to walk away from his crimes, unscathed. Last week, I had a discussion with someone whose husband is an attorney. She works in his office whenever she can to help him with his busy practice. We were discussing the facts of my divorce, and she said several things that caused a mild onset of anxiety, but I began to cogitate about the US and State legal systems that have not been ove …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Mother as sociopath

March 28, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 58 Comments

Editor's note: The following email was sent by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "OpalRose." I'm not a good writer, but I've learned so much the past 3 years from Love Fraud that I decided to write about my “Long Night's Journey into Day” about emerging from childhood with a sociopathic mother. My first experience of something amiss that stuck with me was probably pre-school when she had a full-blown temper tantrum that I brought her too many envelopes. She had asked for “a few envelopes” and I had brought 7 — she even counted them out and screamed that I should know that “a few” means 3. So much for my ability to read minds. She insisted that “if we really loved her, she wouldn't have to …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Layers of shame and guilt

March 8, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 102 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who is herself a mental health professional. Names have been changed. The sociopath has an amazing ability to determine who can be manipulated or is vulnerable. When I separated from my sociopath, I had to recognize how I was conditioned as a child to be trusting and compliant. I was rewarded when I took care of others; my parents wanted a kind child. Their shaping was successful and I care very well for others. What I lacked was the ability to care for myself and to discern who deserved my care, who would return the love and respect that I gave. Lack of this discernment exposed me to many abusive personalities. I became a …

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