How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Recovery from a sociopath

Helping Children Heal While Co-parenting with a Sociopath

//  by //  7 Comments

by Quinn Pierce I sat on the now familiar, well worn bench outside the courtroom, and I watched the strained faces of the people around me as I waited for our name to be called.  It was our fourth appearance in the family court due to my son's unexcused absences resulting from an illness the school has yet to acknowledge. The whole process has been exhausting, to say the least, but it's been made even worse by the carnival-like antics being performed by my ex-husband and his lawyer. As usual, a situation that should solely be about supporting our child has been turned into another  Look At Me, I'm the Victim one-act play.  It seems that any captive audience lately has become an op …

Helping Children Heal While Co-parenting with a SociopathRead More

Holidays with a Sociopath

//  by //  51 Comments

There's no exact formula for spending life's special events with a sociopath, but one thing's for sure. It won't be good for you. With the 4th of July coming tomorrow, I decided to spend some time talking about life's biggest events and sweetest moments. Weddings. Birthdays. Funerals. Births. Christmas. Hanukah. Anniversaries. And any other special time or ritual that gives our humanity a chance to feel the deeper meaning of life. To watch the fireworks. To celebrate our bonds to each other. To remember our heritage. To take a breath and step away from the daily grind so we can look around and appreciate what's most important to us. And feel the joy that comes with it. And because our …

Holidays with a SociopathRead More

Why I Wrote ‘Discarded: One Mother’s Journey with a Psychopath’

//  by //  8 Comments

By Indie Mom I never started out to write a book, let alone a personal memoir, laying bare the most intimate and personal details between my husband and me and our children. Looking back four years since he left our family home, I can barely believe the repressed stories that have surfaced, and even more, stories that make complete sense to someone other than me. Because I had endured years of gas lighting, projection, triangulation and manipulation at the hands of my husband and father of my children, I looked and felt like a very unwell person when I tried to share anything with our closest friends and family members. Eventually, when our house of cards came tumbling down, there …

Why I Wrote ‘Discarded: One Mother’s Journey with a Psychopath’Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My sociopathic ex left me with only a bare grasp on reality

//  by //  3 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter was submitted to Lovefraud by a reader whom we'll call “Dolina.” The best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid them altogether but that isn't always possible and of course, you have to realise that is what he is before he takes your brain and turns it into a bouncy-ball. And that they're not really as fun as the TV makes them look. It might be you. It could be even now, you realise something is horribly wrong with your relationship but you can't exactly think what it is. That even though he never outright says anything concrete, he has a way of showing you how useless, helpless, stupid and ugly you are. You're lucky to have him, he knows that and makes sure th …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My sociopathic ex left me with only a bare grasp on realityRead More

Devaluation and the Inability to Form Emotional Attachments

//  by //  9 Comments

I'd like to start this post with a passage from the author Jesmyn Ward in Men We Reaped. Here, she talks about how she learned to undervalue herself when her dad left their family: "I looked at myself and saw a walking embodiment of everything the world around me seemed to despise: an unattractive, poor, Black woman. Undervalued by her family, a perpetual workhouse. Undervalued by society regarding her labor and her beauty. This seed buried itself in my stomach and bore fruit. I hated myself. That seed bloomed in the way I walked, slumped over, eyes on the floor, in the way I didn't even attempt to dress well, in the way I avoided the world, when I could, through reading, and in the way I …

Devaluation and the Inability to Form Emotional AttachmentsRead More

Restorative images and recovery from betrayal

//  by //  3 Comments

"When we focus on something repeatedly, the brain forms a habit," says Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Living and Loving After Betrayal. "We have to be careful on what we focus on." When we discover that we've been betrayed by a sociopath, for a long time that's all we can think about. Although this is a typical response to the betrayal, it also has the effect of keeping us mired in our pain. Stosny suggest replacing the memories of the deception with restorative images, which he defines as "any emotionally laden bit of your imagination that eases pain by shifting mental focus from loss to growth." He explains this approach in an article on the Psychology Today blog: Healing from …

Restorative images and recovery from betrayalRead More

Online threats: Crimes or free speech?

//  by //  3 Comments

The Supreme Court of the United States may soon decide whether or not to hear appeals of two cases in with people were convicted and sent to jail for making online threats, even though they later said they didn't mean any harm. In one case, Anthony Elonis of Pennsylvania, wrote on Facebook about killing his estranged wife. According to the Associated Press, he said: “There's one way to love you but a thousand ways to kill you. I'm not going to rest until your body is a mess, soaked in blood and dying from all the little cuts.” The woman testified in court that she feared for her life. Elonis was sentenced to almost four years, and was released on February 14, 2014, according to The Exp …

Online threats: Crimes or free speech?Read More

Why Do I Feel So Guilty? How Sociopaths Shame Us Into Submission

//  by //  38 Comments

If I had to pick the most powerful tool in a sociopath's arsenal, it would be shame.   I've experienced a myriad of emotions during my life with sociopathic parents:  sadness, anger, confusion, jealousy (from observing "healthy" families), fear, loneliness, compassion, forgiveness.  During the healing process, it is very normal to have waves of these emotions come and go.  But for me, the one emotion that hasn't come and gone, the one that has blanketed my entire life history, is shame. Why shame?  I didn't ask to be abused as a child.    As an adult, I certainly had the choice to sever ties with my parents, but I didn't because I thought a good daughter wouldn't do that.   If I hang in the …

Why Do I Feel So Guilty? How Sociopaths Shame Us Into SubmissionRead More

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Support group for destructive relationships

//  by //  32 Comments

By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New Jersey Last summer I got a support group off the ground comprised of clients, all of whom had been in a relationship with a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath or combination thereof. The reason I began the group is because, first of all, there appears to be an epidemic out there of conscience-free people who are destroying the lives of their partners. Just in my practice there were enough clients to start a group. Now there are many others. “Nobody heals alone” The other reason is that I understand and believe in the power of support groups. I heard an interesting quote last year in a workshop: “Nobody heals alone”. This is based on fi …

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Support group for destructive relationshipsRead More

The “Functional Female Sociopath”…..Good For Society?

//  by //  14 Comments

According to various opinions, not all sociopaths are created equal. There are the "non-functional" sociopaths (i.e., serial killers) and "functional" sociopaths (i.e., successful sociopaths).  The functional female sociopath uses her lack of empathy to annihilate those pesky male counterparts (or, frankly, anyone who gets in the way), paving the way for woman-kind. Yay them!  Right?   I mean, why can't functional female sociopaths be on the same playing field as functional male sociopaths?  Well, they can be.  And they are.  The last time I checked, evil is still evil.  You can put a dress suit and lipstick on it, or you can put starched collars and neckties on it, sociopathy is still a b …

The “Functional Female Sociopath”…..Good For Society?Read More