Recovery from a sociopath Archives | Page 90 of 92 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

ASK DR. LEEDOM: Why does it seem I know more than the experts?

May 2, 2007 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 24 Comments

Lately, many readers have added insightful comments to this blog. I would like to share this one and add that you may indeed know more about sociopathy than the so-called experts. As far as charisma in sociopaths goes, my theory is this: if a sociopath has no conscience (and no guilt), he or she might often be in a better mood - or at least appear to be in a better mood - i.e; generally more upbeat and seemingly happy with whatever is going on - than the average decent non-sociopathic person dealing with the typical ups and downs of daily life. I have heard that when someone is feeling happy, his or her facial expressions. tone of voice, and even their pheramones and neuro-chemicals are …

ASK DR. LEEDOM: Why does it seem I know more than the experts?Read More

Book Review: The Betrayal Bond

April 27, 2007 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 41 Comments

In the last several months I have written a great deal on this blog about the nature of love and bonding. If you would like to know more, read The Betrayal Bond, Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, by Patrick J. Carnes. I just read this book and was happy to see so much commonality with my own view. Dr. Carnes himself survived a Betrayal Bond, and as such writes with the authority of someone who has “been there.” Remember, it is not just women who are affected by love fraud. Normal men bond and are deeply affected by their love relationships. Dr. Carnes discusses in detail the psychological trauma associated with a relationship with a sociopath, though his book does not focus onl …

Book Review: The Betrayal BondRead More

Without the sociopath, a better future does not require a better past

April 26, 2007 // by M.L. Gallagher// 12 Comments

Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them."---George Santayana Imagine a tape running through your head that has all the things that ever happened to you playing on a continous loop through your mind. Now, imagine that every time you look forward, every thought, idea, word, motion is filtered through that tape, again and again. Every time you think about the future, you have to look through the past. That's what happens in our heads, every day, when we remind ourselves that something which happened yesterday is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. That's what happens when we don't question what we learned in the past, and drag it forward with …

Without the sociopath, a better future does not require a better pastRead More

ASK DR. LEEDOM: What about therapy?

April 26, 2007 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 46 Comments

A reader wrote in with the following: I have a question for you related to the sociopath and the therapeutic relationship, and how to regain trust in the therapeutic process when it appears to have failed you during the relationship. I have been in therapy with a therapist I trust and have bonded with for more than two years, as well as in group therapy, most of which was also parallel to the duration of my marriage to a sociopath. For a short period of time, the sociopath was in therapy with me in order to try work out the issues in our marriage. I am currently struggling to regain my trust in therapy, when I view it as having eroded the very instincts that were telling me to get …

ASK DR. LEEDOM: What about therapy?Read More

It would be a shame to let the sociopath win

April 3, 2007 // by M.L. Gallagher// 3 Comments

Something I struggle with on a daily basis is to be free of the past. To fearlessly let go of all that was so that I can live joyously with all that is.The Twelve Steps teaches you to become accountable and responsible for yourself. To not look to fix someone else's problems but rather, to face your own behaviours, to be accountable for your responses to someone else's behaviours and to own your responses.One of the most challenging steps for me was the 4th step -- To make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself.I would make the inventory, and when it got to those things for which I carried great shame, I'd sugar coat them, dress them up, pretty them up. I wouldn't let them …

It would be a shame to let the sociopath winRead More

How to recover from the ruin of a sociopath

April 1, 2007 // by Donna Andersen// 33 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Last week, I posted correspondence from Arlene, who, after 23 years of marriage, was discarded by her husband and has lost her connections to her children. Arlene said she was so devastated that she just wanted her life to end. Several Lovefraud readers posted comments of understanding and encouragement for Arlene. Another reader sent an e-mail, describing the steps she took to recover after she had been similarly dumped by her husband. I thought her suggestions were so helpful that I asked permission to post the e-mail, which she graciously granted. Advice …

How to recover from the ruin of a sociopathRead More

Allergic to the sociopath I take action to stay free of the allergen

March 28, 2007 // by M.L. Gallagher// 5 Comments

I've developed an allergy that is visible on my face as a red, angry-looking rash that is very itchy and sore. The doctor isn't sure what is causing it -- neither am I. It could be the air or sun, or something environmental in the house. It is a process of recording when it flares up and if I can't eliminate the source, of undergoing allergy testing. In the meantime, the cream is starting to calm the redness and puffiness of my skin which is a relief. It's been irritating to say the least.This morning, as I applied a 'thin layer' to my face, I was wishing it would hurry up and work. Couldn't it do its job faster? Sort of like after the sociopath was removed from my life. Couldn't I hurry …

Allergic to the sociopath I take action to stay free of the allergenRead More

Understanding that sociopaths murder the spirit

March 25, 2007 // by Donna Andersen// 90 Comments

Here is an e-mail exchange that recently took place between me and a Lovefraud reader: Arlene: I was married to a man for 23 years. I found out so much in the last few years. He murdered my soul, my spirit, and financially devastated me. He moved another woman ... brainwashed my children. My 18 yr old now is on cocaine...she was a nice girl...he has trashed her also and she is not living with me. The children now that were close to me are not empathetic and cold. He grew in power and is an intellectual. He spread vicious rumors about me to cover his tracks. I am just to move on. Even though I was such a devoted mother and this family was my life. I have tried everything to recover and I …

Understanding that sociopaths murder the spiritRead More

It’s up to me!

March 14, 2007 // by M.L. Gallagher// 4 Comments

Once upon a time I fell in love with a dream. Well, actually, I thought I fell in love with a man, but he turned out to be a sociopath, and my life became a nightmare. But that's a whole other story about a whole other lifetime ago! (You can read about it in The Dandelion Spirit. A true life fairy tale of love, lies and letting go.) Today, my life is far different and even better than before I met the sociopath, and it's not because a man made my dreams come true! (Which is sort of what I was hoping and looking for when I met the sociopath.) My life is amazing because I am living my life to the fullest, working on making my own dreams come true and stepping with grace and dignity through …

It’s up to me!Read More

ASK DR. LEEDOM: I don’t understand why I still care

March 10, 2007 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 173 Comments

One of our readers wrote the following, nearly everyone of us has expressed the same sentiments: One phone conversation with him could go from loving words in the very begining to total ugliness toward the end and he would often get really mean and hang up on me. It was like he was Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde all rolled into one. You never knew what he was going to be like... In spite of all this, I still love him and can't stop thinking about him. I guess it's just that I remember the good times and what a loving and caring man he could be when he wanted to. I know I am still grieving over this, because he still haunts me and I can't seem to get him out of my system. And I know now that …

ASK DR. LEEDOM: I don’t understand why I still careRead More

Donna Andersen on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “Thank you for your thoughtful comment.”
samson75 on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “The majority of studies show that bipolar and psychopathy can be comorbid, though it is rare. What people likely see…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on What narcissists will never understand: “Hi Sept4–In my article if you notice in the last paragraph, I mentioned that narcissists willfully misunderstand others because they refuse to…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on What narcissists will never understand: “Hi Sept4–”
sept4 on What narcissists will never understand: “I actually disagree that they don’t understand normal human behavior. I think they do understand but they just don’t care.…”