This is a true story told to me by one of my University students. Marisol describes life with her sister, a sociopath: My stepfather sexually molested me when I was eight. My sister who was nine, was also molested; I know because I saw him go to her. We never talked about what happened. When she was 20, I asked her and she denied it then admitted it happened to her when I said I saw him. My father was shot and killed when we were very young. He used drugs and had a bad temper, so someone shot him. My sister was always wild when we were growing up. We fought a lot and there wasn't much affection in my family. My sister has been sexually promiscuous since her teen years. I never had any …
Sociopaths as parents (part 3): Hostility spreads!
Scientists now believe that the set of personality traits that cause sociopathy develops in people with genetic risk. But research also shows that genetics alone cannot account for the presence of sociopathy in our society. Sociopathy is caused by an interaction between genes and environment. In my opinion, many kids are twice cursed by genetics. The same genes that put them at risk also give them at least one unfit parent. This unfit parent creates an environment where the genes that produce sociopathy can become manifest. In part 1 of this series, I listed several parenting behaviors that foster the development of sociopathy. This week we will discuss the trait anger and hostility that …
Sociopaths as Parents (Part 2): What the child sees matters!
Recent scientific studies show that genes strongly influence the development of sociopathy (For more on this, see Just Like His Father? — A Guide to Overcoming Your Child's Genetic Connection to Antisocial Behavior, Addiction & ADHD). If we take all the studies together, it looks like genes and childhood environment contribute equally to sociopathy in our society. While we can't yet alter genetics, we can do something about environment. Parents are a large part of a child's early environment, so it makes sense to question whether parenting contributes to antisocial behavior. Parents can transmit antisocial behavior to children any number of ways. The most obvious route of transmission i …
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Sociopaths and Parenting (part 1)
This week I have to retract an earlier statement I made. I said there were no studies on sociopaths and their parenting behavior. Well, many of you will be happy to know that I didn't give up and I have found some, finally. Because many out there need specific references and specific guidance, I am going to give you all the references I have found along with my analysis of the studies. I will also write letters to the authors, and try to form a consensus statement with them that can be used in custody proceedings. According to a recent paper (Jan, 2007) published in Child Development, Cognitive and Parenting Pathways in the Transmission of Antisocial Behavior From Parents to Adolescents, …
New research shows single parenthood blamed for problems caused by sociopathy
New research confirms something I have long suspected: There is a relationship between single parenthood and sociopathy that explains problems found in young people. Before I describe the research I have to give some background. Sociopathy is a set of personality traits that group together. These traits are also largely responsible for addiction and alcoholism. To read more about the connection between antisocial personality traits, addiction and alcoholism, see The Inner Triangle helps you understand sociopaths, psychopaths, addicts and alcoholics. I believe that people with sociopathic personality traits likely create many of the single parent families in Western countries. The problem …
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ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I get my ____ away from the psychopathic con artist?”
This week I will propose a strategy for helping a family member break free from a con artist/sociopath. The conclusions I have come to about how best to do this are based on the information regarding the techniques these people employ that I explained last week in Coercive persuasion, mind control and brain washing. Sociopaths establish control over a person little by little, BITE by BITE. Remember, BITE stands for behavior, information, thoughts and emotions. To help your loved one, you have to BITE back. Take a look at the situation and see how you can gently facilitate your loved one gaining back autonomy over his/her daily behavior. Try to always appear affirming and loving so that it …
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New study finds conduct disordered boys are just like their fathers
Although fearlessness is not part of the formal definition of psychopathy or DSM IV antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), it is widely recognized that this temperamental attribute is part of these disorders as well as their childhood precursors, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD). Thankfully, not all fearless individuals are sociopaths but it appears that fearlessness is present in varying degrees in everyone with these disorders. (Interestingly some sociopaths do show anxiety. The exact relationship between anxiety and fearlessness is not completely understood.) Fearlessness is a good trait to study because the trait reflects the function of specific brain …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFAUD: How do you fight against this type of person?
Many people write to Lovefraud seeking advice for the situations they find themselves in due to a sociopath. I do my best to help, but sometimes the sociopath has created so much trauma that I feel like my suggestions are inadequate. Reproduced below is an e-mail exchange between a woman who faces a nearly impossible situation—we'll call her Theresa—and myself. If you have any suggestions that may help her, please post them in a comment. Theresa's first letter When I met my husband he was divorced (three times) and had joint custody of his biological son and stepdaughter. At the time it appeared as though he was this loving and caring dad, and he was so convincing that I was the one per …
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Prenatal smoking increases the risk of sociopathy
The prevention of sociopathy is something we all should be concerned about. Last week, we had an excellent discussion about sociopathy and lying. We all agree lying is the cardinal symptom of sociopathy, thanks to all those who posted comments. Your comments truly help those who are new to the site. Lying is part of the poor impulse control that sociopaths have. Poor impulse control or impulsivity and lying are recognized as central to sociopathy by every expert and diagnostic method. To prevent sociopathy we must start by preventing impulsivity. Unfortunately the brain structures responsible for impulse control are very sensitive to damage, especially early in life; although, damage to the …
Book review: Win Your Child Custody War
Lovefraud receives many e-mails and phone calls from parents who are in child custody disputes with sociopathic ex-partners. If this is you, you are desperate for help and advice. Personally, I think these are the most tragic cases involving sociopaths. Sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children. Children, therefore, are pawns in their game, and the game is to torture you. In the worst cases, the game is also to turn your child into a Mini Me, a budding sociopath. To make matters worse, sociopaths are capable of putting on such convincing appearances—smoothly blending partial truth with lies and accusations—that judges frequently believe them. Sociopaths also ma …