Many have declared that the lack of a conscience is the defect that defines sociopathy. Therefore, understanding how the conscience forms will lead us to better understand this disorder. Researchers currently discuss two basic pathways to conscience formation. The first and most common path to conscience is through guilt. Conscience through guilt develops from fear of punishment. Children who are genetically at risk for sociopathy are often fearless and so have little or no guilt, as discussed last week. The second path to conscience The second path to conscience is through empathy. A fearless child can have a conscience if he develops empathy. Conscience through empathy is called the …
Sociopaths don’t respond to punishment
In response to last week's entry, Sociopathy and the fearless child one of our readers (Bobby) wrote of his brother, "He was often punished - usually by being sent to bed without his meal - but he would repeat the same behavior as if nothing had happened." This statement illustrates why the usual parenting does not work with children at risk to develop into sociopaths. They do not respond to punishment! Parents of sociopaths are often blamed Tragically, the parents of sociopaths are often blamed for the presence of this condition in their offspring. The belief of many is, He wouldn't be a sociopath if his parents had taught him right from wrong. The belief that "discipline" will cure …
Sociopathy and the fearless child
Many have expressed doubt that a condition as complex as sociopathy can be genetic. The doubters aside, studies of identical twins separated at birth and raised by non-relatives do clearly show the condition is genetic. The question now is, “Just what is inherited?” Genes interact with environment Although sociopathy is genetic, it is not inherited in the same way as many other traits, for example, eye color. The genes that cause sociopathy do so by making a child vulnerable to certain environmental influences. A child can have the genes but if he is not exposed to the triggering environment, he will not develop the condition. Fearlessness an important precursor to both sociopathy an …
UK man says sociopath stole his life
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a man in the UK—we'll call him “Tom.” Tom says his wife left him to be with another man, “Peter," who Tom believes is a sociopath. Tom says he hasn't seen his children in two years, he has been arrested on false charges nine times, and his money is gone. He has asked for help to determine what to do. If you have suggestions, please post them as comments. My story is out of the movies and I have suffered so much that I no longer know what to do. I have lost my children, my home, my stability, my career and my wealth at the hands of two sociopaths. I am in recovery now, totally broke, practically homeless and mentally and emotion …
My child’s genetic connection to a sociopath
The first time I ever heard the word sociopath was in 1980 as a 19-year-old sophomore in Psychobiology at the University of Southern California. I attended a lecture given by Dr. Sarnoff Mednick, who presented the findings of his research. I was amazed at his work, which clearly demonstrates that genetics is an important predictor of criminal behavior. I attended many lectures in college, medical school and beyond, however that presentation always stayed with me. I remember it as if I heard it only yesterday. Psychologists say that our memories are affected by our present circumstances, so it is no wonder I have a strong connection to that lecture heard so long ago. For better and for …
When you have a child with a sociopath
A few months ago, a Florida woman called me about the sociopath in her life. It was her teenaged son. As she told me of his disrespectful behavior toward her, his acting out in school and his violence, she broke down. This woman could barely speak through her tears. To me, the greatest pain of any involvement with a sociopath comes when children are involved, especially when the sociopath is the biological parent. Not only has someone been deceived by a sociopath, but the child of the relationship may also become a sociopath. Lovefraud has had nothing to offer the parents of children at risk for sociopathic behavior. Until now. Introducing Liane Leedom, M.D. Dr. Liane Leedom is a …
Sociopaths drag their families into the con
Sociopaths will manipulate anyone. Let me repeat that. Sociopaths will manipulate absolutely anyone, including mom, dad, brothers, sisters—anyone. One way that this happens is the sociopath gets his or her family—knowingly or not—to participate in the victimization of the target. Lovefraud received an e-mail from Rod in Nebraska. Rod's daughter had been targeted by a sociopath. In his e-mail, he wrote the following: One thing that I do believe should be approached about a sociopath is his ability not only to control his victim, but also his family. The sociopath works his family to the extent that he manipulates his immediate family into believing that none of his problems in life are his …
Divorce, custody and personality disorders
Lovefraud frequently receives e-mails and phone calls from people who are divorcing a sociopath and are afraid they're going to get trashed in court. They know the sociopaths will lie—smoothly and convincingly—and are terrified that the manipulator will end up winning the money, the house, and custody of the kids. If you're facing family court battles with a sociopath, I recommend that you buy and read Splitting—Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist, by William A. Eddy. It may be the best $25 you ever spend. Eddy, the author, is both a therapist (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) and an attorney. He understands the law, the courts and how people with personality diso …
How do you help someone snared by a sociopath?
Lovefraud recently heard from a woman who was concerned for her daughter. Here is her e-mail: Currently, our daughter is married to a sociopath. He has taken us (her parents) for thousands and thousands of dollars, then turned her against us. These people victimize people and are somehow able to make themselves look like the victim. They have 2 small children. He has completely isolated her from her family, including her sister. He completely hates me and has made me the enemy, for I started seeing through him. Do you have any idea how I can possibly reach her to make her see the pattern? This man has felonies on his record for scheming to defraud; he has cheated people all his adult …
Sociopaths, children and the legal system
Robert from Illinois has sent a few e-mails to Lovefraud. He was married to a woman who he believes is a sociopath—he describes the relationship as non-emotional and loveless, with constant financial and verbal attacks. Robert is now divorced, but has a five-year-old son with the woman. Here's what Robert wrote in a recent e-mail: "Even though I told my divorce lawyer that my ex was a sociopath, he said, all you're doing is giving her a label. You still have to have evidence she is unfit to your son. I told her once that my son wants to live with me and guess what she said ?. She said, You're not getting my son. Typical sociopath response." The response of Robert's lawyer is common i …