On and off for the past four years, I’ve been mentioning my upcoming book about my experience with a sociopath, James Montgomery, and my recovery from the ordeal. Well, the book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is at the printer, and will be available in about a month.
In writing the book, I had five goals:
- Drawing attention to the problem of sociopaths.
- Showing how sociopaths weave their web of lies to trap people.
- Exposing the impotence of social institutions in dealing with these predators.
- Explaining why, from a spiritual perspective, we fall into these relationships.
- Offering hope that we can, even after these devastating encounters, recover and flourish.
I’ve launched a new blog specifically for this book. It’s called, simply, Love Fraud ”¦ the book.
I invite all Lovefraud readers to visit the new blog. You’ll find more information about the book. You’ll be able to read the introduction and a chapter. I even have a photo gallery. And, there are reviews. I’ve asked some Lovefraud authors and members to read advance copies of the book and write their impressions. Two are posted.
Autographed and numbered copies, plus FREE shipping
My family, of course, has known for a long time that I’ve been working on the book. Two years ago, my young nephew, then eight years old, asked me, “Can I have the first one?”
Of course, I said yes. Then I thought, how will he know which is the first one?
The solution is autographed and numbered first edition copies, which we’re making available to all Lovefraud readers in a special pre-order offer. If you reserve your book now, while it’s at the printer, when they arrive, I will autograph and number it, in the order in which purchases are received. (We’re up to number 5.)
Plus, SHIPPING IS FREE for all U.S. destinations. International shipping is 40% off.
For more information about this offer, visit the Lovefraud Store.
Different discussion
I’ll keep posting articles on Love Fraud ”¦ the book. As you all have a chance to read the book, you may have questions, which I’ll do my best to answer.
I expect that the blog will take our discussion of entanglements with sociopaths into a new direction. As painful as it was, I learned that the entire experience was an opportunity for spiritual growth. Although we’ve touched on the topic here on the Lovefraud Blog, it will be even more prominent on the new blog.
If you want to post a comment on the Lovefraud Book blog, your regular log-in credentials should work. The log-in link is on right side of the page, at the bottom. If you have any problems, please let me know.
Stop on by.
Frank Lee Speaking
bulletproof, there was an amazing blog called Transsociopathica which was nothing but using the sociopath experience to grow spiritually.
The blog owner actually made fools of sociopaths by pretending he believed they were actually demons and the sociopaths played right into his hands by coming on and condesendingly lecturing him on how stupid he was. He literally out sociopath the sociopaths. He took most the blog down unfortunately after he met a nice girl and found happiness in his life. Shame as it was brilliantly written too.
bulletproof
Frank Lee Speaking
I’m just back from visiting the site…what a pity it’s gone! I read through what is there, very interesting. I would have really enjoyed the way he made fools of sociopaths.. he must have deleted the posts, cant find em.. It’s so good to hear he met a nice girl and found happiness, proof there is life after the sociopath.
That sociopaths may be in disarray and confusion makes me smile, that Donna has written a book makes me smile, that the net is closing in ON THEM is such good news.The ‘100 monkey’ phenomenon will see to it that sociopaths will be unable to swagger around for much longer
Ox Drover
Frank lee,
I agree that there is much learning imparted to us by the experiences we have had with sociopaths, along with a great deal of “damage” at the same time. We are able to heal if we grasp the LEARNING. I definitely believe that humans are on a spiritual journey on this earth (whatever your religious or spiritual concepts are) The psychopaths, to me, represent the “demonic” spirits if you will, the purveyors of EVIL, but I also believe that they have CHOSEN that path with a FREE WILL (whether in this life or a previous one). We also, as well as they, can CHOOSE to do good or to do evil.
We have a choice to learn or not to learn. The lesson is presented in our “schoolhouse” of life and we can learn it and not have to repeat that lesson, or we can not learn it, and go on repeating the lesson until we get it.
Looking back over my life, I realize I had many chances to “get the lesson” in dealing with psychopaths in my life and my family, and I didn’t get the lesson, but did get to REPEAT the class until I did finally get the lesson.
I also realized that I cannot “save” these people from themselves, and that everyone else must learn their OWN LESSON and that I cannot save them either.
“Tutoring” others who are working on learning the lesson (like we do here at LF) is the ONLY thing we can do for these people who are WILLING to be “tutored”–that’s what LF does. That’s what Donna’s book and every other book about this kind of thing does. It TUTORS the WILLING, but no one, no book, nothing can make someone wake up or be WILLING to be tutored until the time comes that they themselves see a NEED to learn, to be tutored. That’s why many times warning someone does not work. I have been warned several times by people about a person being UN-trustworthy (i.e. being a Psychopath) but I did not listen.
Years ago I dated one for a while (I was 21) and smitten. I found out he was cheating on me and rushed to a dear male friend who also knew him (he was dating the guy’s sister) and told him tearfully what had happened.
He said to me “Yea, I knew” and I screamed at him “WHY didn’t you tell me?”
His reply was “Would you have believed me?” I knew then he was RIGHT, I would not have believed him.
This incident stuck with me, yet I never put it to USE like I should have, so when I was warned, I DID NOT BELIEVE, and I paid the price financially and emotionally in dealing with psychopaths because I REFUSED to believe the warnings I was given. I ARROGANTLY thought I knew better about these people. I was HOODWINKED.
My arrogance now about spotting them, about not fallling into their trap is not so much, because I know I can be fooled again, even if just for a little while. BUT I have learned how to spot the red flags and when they wave, I RUN. I don’t question those flags, I don’t trivaliaze those flags, I don’t excuse those flags and ONE is all I need to see. One LIE, One TANTRUM, One incidence of DIShonesty to anyone, etc.
I do wish I was optimistic enough to think that the psychopaths will be outed as a group. I think they have been with us since the “Garden of Eden” and will be with us until the “last trump shall sound” but I do believe that “HEAVEN” WILL BE A P-FREE EXISTENCE…..just think about how wonderful even today’s world would be if there were no Ps here. There would be essentially no crooks, no poverty, no wars, no child abuse, no drug addicts, no drunks, no prisons, no crime, we would only have to deal with minor things like diseases and natural disasters like earthquakes. Everyone would work together in peace and harmony and could be trusted. WOW!!! Now tell me that wouldn’t be HEAVEN!
Buttons
Congratulations, Donna!
It just goes to show that something “good” CAN come out of an encounter with a spath. Your experience was horrific, at the very least, but to turn it around into a blog that teaches, leads, heals, and affirms is amazing and encouraging. You’ve offered us hope, help, and a place that’s “safe.”
Brightest, most prosperous blessings!!!
massie
Hi everyone. I’m new here. I have been reading this blog since February and it honestly saved my life. Thanks to each and every one of you who contributed….. Your stories amaze and inspire me. They are heart-wrenching. x -M
Ox Drover
Welcome Massie, glad you are here! This is a wonderful place, just keep on reading and learning and breathing and you will get through it. Glad you are here!
ErinBrock
Massie:
Welcome, welcome!!!!
There are many of us here who feel LF has saved our lives!!!
I hope your safe on your journey to healing.
Keep on reading and learning and we’d love to hear more from you!
Good luck and again….WELCOME!!!
super chic
massie, hello!!! this site saved my life and sanity!!
Nice to meet you, hope you will keep writing!
The people here are really amazing.
ErinBrock
Hey chic….i’m hitten the hay….
hope your keeping in touch with your bro and continuing to visit !!! Even just a pop in to visit.
XXOO
EB
Wini
Donna, I hope you call it Love Fraud the Book, Volume One … with more volumes coming soon …
Peace.