By | January 28, 2010 93 Comments

Michael Vick, dog-killing quarterback, to receive Courage Award

Some people are just clueless, and that includes the entire Philadelphia Eagles football team.

It was bad enough that Eagles management signed Michael Vick to the team after he got out of prison for running a dog fighting ring. As I posted on August 24, 2009, in Can Michael Vick change his behavior?, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), sent a letter to the NFL stating that Vick fit the profile of antisocial personality disorder, aka a sociopath.

I mean, the guy rewarded the animals that lost by personally electrocuting, hanging or drowning them—shoving their heads into five-gallon buckets of water.

So now, after sitting on the bench for most of the season, the Eagles players say Vick should win the Ed Block Courage Award. According to the foundation that presents it, “the Ed Block Courage Awards honors those National Football League players who exemplify commitments to the principles of sportsmanship and courage. Recipients are selected by their teammates for team effort, as well as individual performance.”

Many people, including the American Kennel Club, are outraged. On January 22, 2010, the club sent a letter to Jeff Lurie, owner of the Philadelphia Eagles. It stated:

On behalf of the American Kennel Club, our 5,000 clubs nationwide, and the millions of responsible dog owners we represent, we are writing to ask you to withdraw Michael Vick as the Philadelphia Eagles’ recipient of the Ed Block Courage Award.

We understand that his teammates selected Mr. Vick for this honor, but in doing so they are demonstrating a lack of understanding about the nature of both animal and child abuse, and are trivializing Mr. Vick’s heinous actions. Michael Vick horrified the world, and especially those of us who devote our lives to promoting the health and welfare of dogs, with his engagement in dog fighting. In addition to the bloody fighting contests, reports indicate that many dogs were electrocuted, drowned or hung for underperformance.

A man who has been convicted of these atrocities should not be held up as a role model of sportsmanship and courage. Further, Ed Block, the award’s namesake, dedicated his life to ending the vicious cycle of pain and despair suffered by children at the hands of their abusers. It is unconscionable that a man who tortured and abused helpless animals be honored by an organization dedicated to ending abuse.

Vick says he deserves it

So what does Michael Vick have to say about winning the award? According to

“I’ve overcome a lot, more than probably one single individual can handle or bear,” Vick said. “You ask certain people to walk through my shoes, they probably couldn’t do. Probably 95 percent of the people in this world because nobody had to endure what I’ve been through, situations I’ve been put in, situations I put myself in and decisions I have made, whether they have been good or bad.

“There’s always consequences behind certain things and repercussions behind them, too. And then you have to wake up every day and face the world, whether they perceive you in the right perspective, it’s a totally different outlook on you. You have to be strong, believe in yourself, be optimistic. That’s what I’ve been able to do. That’s what I display.”

The guys on ESPN’s Mike & Mike in the Morning talk radio show were incredulous. They talked about the men selected by other football teams. One football player been shot 14 times in a drive-by shooting, was paralyzed and lost a leg. Another player created a foundation to support at-risk youths. Another was well-known for his community service.

“Here’s the bottom line: Did Michael Vick exemplify courage?” one of the Mikes asked. “I gotta say the answer is no!”

The video clip is entertaining. See it at Mike and Mike: Vick Courageous?

An online petition against awarding Michael Vick the Ed Block Courage Award is available on

Michael Vick on TV

And just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does—Michael Vick has his own reality TV show on BET.

The Michael Vick Project premieres next week, on February 2, 2010. Here’s what has to say about it:

In this eight-part series, produced by DuBose Entertainment, MV7 Productions and Category 5 Entertainment, cameras will not only capture the NFL star’s return to football after a two-year prison term stemming from his association with a dog fighting ring, but they will also focus on much of his life prior to that turning point.  Viewers will be given an unfiltered and personal experience of Vick as he restores his past and starts fresh for the future — not only for himself, but for his family and fiancée, Kijafa.

“It’s our hope that this documentary series will serve as means towards Michael Vick’s search for his personal truth, what led to the choices he made that ultimately changed his life and also, enlighten viewers that every decision you make in life matters. We hope his story will be one in which years from now, people particularly young men, will view and learn valuable lessons from, James DuBose, CEO, Dubose Entertainment. “Mike’s life may be unique, but his story is one that could be told ten times over by young men who find themselves faced with trials and tribulations. His truth has come by way of bad choices. His triumph will come by way of his commitment to change.”

No role model

We all know how charming, charismatic and convincing sociopaths can be. They are experts at impression management. Vick must have put on a heck of a performance, and the Eagles players didn’t realize that it was only a performance.

It seems that Vick has stayed out of trouble for at least the length of the football season. And honestly, we know sociopaths don’t change, so if he’s not hurting other people or animals, it’s about all we can expect of him.

But Michael Vick as a role model? That’s just too much.

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Elizabeth Conley

“I’ve overcome a lot, more than probably one single individual can handle or bear,” Vick said.

That’s a cluster B for you.

They fool most of the people, most of the time. Being angry with people for falling for these near flawless performances is a waste of time.

If you can identify sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists, be thankful. If you can see through a histrionics’s or borderline’s perception of themselves as a victim, be thankful. Give thanks, and use what you know to keep yourself and the people you love safe.

Every time I’m reminded of Michael Vick’s continuing existence, I check to see where my big, dumb sweet golden retriever is. I check her tags, I update her file with our national pet-finder service, I check our fence line, and I say a little prayer.

Evil is. Get used to it. Deal with it. Drive on.


‘“There’s always consequences behind certain things and repercussions behind them, too. And then you have to wake up every day and face the world, whether they perceive you in the right perspective, it’s a totally different outlook on you. You have to be strong, believe in yourself, be optimistic. That’s what I’ve been able to do. That’s what I display.”’


We are SO used to hearing politicians and athletes and holywood celebs TALK LIKE THIS that we accept it – AS IF they are saying something, and not just revealing their spathy selves.

i’ll sign the petition. post the link on my fb page. let’s get viral people!

Elizabeth Conley

One more thing:

” electrocuting, hanging or drowning them—shoving their heads into five-gallon buckets of water.”

The normal mind simply shies away from the grim foulness these words represent. Who can do that to a dog? Who can think about this happening to a dog without getting queasy.

Sociopathy is a disease no one wants in their personal reality. As much as possible, we want to live in a world where this unbelievable grimness doesn’t exist. No wonder so many people pretend sociopathy away, rather than see sociopaths for what they are.


Let me just get this straight.
In his dog-fighting days, Vick punished the dogs that underperformed by “personally electrocuting them, hanging or drowning them-shoving their heads in 5-gallon buckets of water.”

I just read in the above article that Vick sat on the bench for most of the season.
I think this would also classify as underperformance.
Football players should be on the field, not sitting on the bench.

It’s a good thing the Eagles organization didn’t punish him for underperforming in the same manner he punished those dogs.


I don’t know when we as a society are going to learn to stop putting these athletes up on a pedestal.

Just because you can run a football, or throw a football, or swing a golf club does NOT make you a pillar of MORALITY.

Enough with the worship-mentality of these athletes.
They are human beings, just like the rest of us….and in Vick’s case, the “human” quotient is debatable.


I just posted it to my facebook. – And I’ll sign like you say One Step –
maybe we can wake people up. It has to start somewhere.

And yes – Elizabeth – I am grateful I can recognize it but I still am afraid at times of being deceived. Being able to recognize it, name it and to immediately drive on is a lifelong process…


I had to add something else as when I went to sign the letter it occurred to me – and I wrote this in my letter:

His teammates had no better examples among themselves of someone who exemplified courage?

Unbelievable. They had no one on their team who stands out as someone who gives back to others?

They all – the entire team should be ashamed of themselves, at least the men who voted for Vick. If Vick is the best example they have of someone who represents the values the Ed Block Award is supposed to represent then they have set a very low bar for themselves.

Vick is all about Vick. He truly believes he deserves the award for being able to behave himself publicly (stay out of obvious trouble) and reap the rewards his notoriety has given him. The narcissism is revolting.

The fact is it is not only a sad statement about how people can be fooled by S/N/P’s but it is also a vivid reminder of the decay of values in our country that a group of men have no one greater to honor than this sick sociopath posing as a human being.


He shouldn’t even be in the team – this is how society rewards psychopaths for their bad behaviour – think about the message this sends to the youth of today. It is disgusting. I think he should get the same treatment he meted out to those poor dogs – he should be locked in a cage with an alligator, a crocodile and several angry dogs and should have his teeth and hands removed so he can’t defend himself – then he should be gangraped like he forced the female dog to endure. What the hell is the world coming to when people like this are honored as being outstanding citizens??? Has he even shown ANY remorse for the suffering he inflicted on those poor dogs? Killing the losers? Well he’s a loser in my book – a waste of air and space. This makes me so angry.


Rosa- Go, get em GIRL! Your excellent post bringing up VIck’s “under performance” is spot on!! With the manner in which HE handled “the underdog”, he better thank his lucky stars he didnt get the same treatment when he failed to be on top of his game.

Calling him a low down dirty dog is an injustice and insult to the animal- meaning the canine.


I urge ALL of you to sign the petition against the lunatic getting nominated for the award- just click online petition at the top of this blog!!


Courage? ha ha no…Brass neck, cheek, arrogance….the dog killer should get an oscar for his performance at pretending he has changed. Sorry to all the animals out there, it’s a dark day.


hey bulletproof – how goes it?


hey One Step i was responding to your post on January 29th but then it disappeared when i refreshed: here goes again: in response to it Starts at Home (but I can’t find it now)

autisticsouls says:
wow one step. this is intense. i haven’t posted in a bit as i’ve been terribly busy. also some of us and the kids in our group started a website going. took some time to get all into it as we are very waldorfy so not only didn’t the kids learn to read at the same rate as average but they also didn’t have much access to technology for quite some time, took some time to commune with nature in their childhood so we didn’t want to toss them into the technology age until ready. also most are autistic so we are way behind on things.

plus i was reading up on the latest posts and it was way too intense for me to grasp. i feel guilty for coming on with just co-worker issues. my problems are so very small in comparison.

i can’t even begin to imagine what you and some others have gone through or even imagine what kind of childhood that must have been like. to feel something i have to somewhat have to match it to some experience i’ve had. and having nothing that even comes up close to some of the stories posted here leaves me useless to offer anything to folks.

my childhood was very nurturing. my father grew up in israeli kibbutz. so he was literaly raised by an entire village. not much parental abuse could happen when children were in essence ’everyone’s children’.

My parents did lose all their family members in the holocaust but my grandparents were the only ones to survive from their respective families but they didn’t say much while i grew up. pretty quiet and introverted they were. my parents were open optimistic people who always taught me the world was a good place, living was good, people don’t mean to be evil and all of that. which seemed strange being that they both grew up on stories of family members they will never see or meet because they were slaughtered.

i think that was the closest thing i could to try to match things up to. but it falls empty. i never knew those family members so i don’t feel any loss over them. Also the stories told about them were always very vibrant so can they really be dead anyhow?

strange musings. the only difficult thing i’ve had to overcome is my autism. and that isn’t even half as bad as having a childhood stolen. Shit i stayed a child a lot longer than most, by my condition and by how my parents did what they could to shelter me from the uglyiness of the world for as long as they could.

i would agree it must start at home. growing up the way i did in a nurturing supportive environment i couldn’t really have remained with a psychopath. the world is hectic and chaotic enough. so my home life has to be stable and secure. any deviations would not be tolerated. sure my wife can’t tie her shoe laces, loses speech and bites psychopaths if they come too close, and sniffs folks in public but none of that bothers me.

emotional inflicted trauma i would have a very short tolerence of. i don’t care if i have to tie my wife’s shoes for the rest of our lives. i’m loved and valued and supported at home. geez. she even came to this list to find help for me. so i did marry someone who was much like the people who raised me. so alot does start at home i agree.

i think it’s tragic that you didn’t have that. that you didn’t grow up with that. because all people deserve healthy childhoods. and a disrupted childhood seems to follow folks for the rest of their lives.

i am so sorry One Step you know you deserved so much better than what you ended up with. i don’t know what to say. it’s just a complete crime what happens to children. and so little is done about it. i read a book recently called “kadish for a child not born” and it’s about a guy who chose not to have children because he could not bring children into a world where the holocaust happened. he cared so much about protecting his children against the evils of the world he didn’t even have them and mourned never having them. i guess it’s easy to have children when they don’t really care about them. me, i worry about this world too and my childen in it. our children today in this cruel world. how are the psychopaths children faring? it would be too painful to contemplate. their young lives destroyed. how will they ever recover their loss of childhood and innocence?

hey look at our website maybe it will keep your mind off things. the kids have been putting all our resource links there. some that can be useful to you maybe or at least interesting.



Are they crazy? Sick?? Without a clue??? Exactly how much “courage”, and I use the term very loosely, does it take to kill a defenseless animal??? I hope the team loses revenue and anything else that matters to them. Pity the owner of the team – they are reprehensible and as such not worthy of anything. Sad, very, sad.


Hi One step!

I am one stepping it at the moment, trying to manage the rage! I still get intrusive flashes of every moment with the P!!
layers of images coming back, the time he said that the time he did this, the hair on the back of my neck still stands on end as I make the links, see the pieces clicking into place..people I thought were evil prior to this, now seem harmless….and people who appear harmless I am suspicious of, usually rightly so…I am so much more attuned to human beings now and how they operate. Beware of the crocodile tears and the sob story, there could be a psychopath at work so I test it out…never taking it at face value again.

Hey thanks for asking!! how are you ? I have missed your posts due to a heavy work schedule, will get around to catching up this evening and sunday


Hi Bulletproof ”“

Rage: my friend, my 2 second lover.

I want to hack the spath into small portions of roasting ribs.
I feel blue flamed anger at any disrespect I experience with new people in my life.
I have walked away from a friend ”“ I cannot deal with the ’look’ right now. I am not going to cope with the lack of caring to listen and have compassion for where I am.

I have had 2 intense energetic experiences of the spath since November ”“ one in which she came to me in her boy form. Rushed toward me, startled me awake, gasping for air. And the other a week ago, when I found out I didn’t get a job I had interviewed for. She came to me in her true form, rising up into my face as I looked down ”“ and I felt TRAPPED.

An devery day, things shift, get knocked loose and move about inside of me, collding with new wisdom and information ”“ and I have, without trying, self arising knowledge about her and the whys ands where ofs of the story and timeline. It’s breaking down, further and further.

Today, I was thinking, about some of the things that she did and I was ruminating and realized that it was her mask slipping. And that’s probably why ’he died’ when he did. She couldn’t keep up the façade. I also found out today that she was running a parallel con at the same time, and that her time of getting hot and heavy with me, probably coincided with the other story’s #1 character dying.

There are lots of bad people out there. I don’t know if I even see them right now ”“ I see the N’s and spaths now. I watch how people make themselves prey (me included). Fuastian knowledge we carry now. And now we have to learn how to deal with these fucks ”“ cut them down at root, before they grow into our lives, and root them out on a societal level. Man, we better rest up!

A Lama I know says: ’everything is a blessing or a purification. Know that with all of the difficulty, you are seeing the back end of the animals leaving the zoo.’ I thought of this when I read you post.

Keep on one stepping!

One Step



She is a creative con woman- with more than one character, how confusing. Yes they really do get exhausted keeping the facade up, it must kill them to ACT 24/7
Yes, I have zero tolerance for any bullshit these days and walk away without guilt. I have developed a very direct way of speaking and if the people in my life have a problem with that then go away.

Well the word PURIFICATION strikes a chord!!! I think you are onto something there.

I feel purified!! conned, lied to, betrayed, abused….and yet I’m still here!! All thats left is the real me….every false frill has been ripped off and now I stand here vulnerable but myself….that has to be a good thing


you said: every false frill has been ripped off and now I stand here vulnerable but myself”.that has to be a good thing .

i think so, too.

I am having a really hard time with enviro toxicity the last few days, and i feel just fucking nuts today – i TRULY thought today was Thursday, which is having some repercussions.

funny the shifts that can happen in a couple of days. I went from the fantasy of chopping the spath into bits, to feeling like i would like to REALLY punch her. many times. i think i have a bit of a desire for her to ‘get it’, to acknowledge the suffering she causes. – i KNOW she can’t, but i sometimes arrive at things a bit backwards (like, i almost always go to acceptance when in grief). ahh, i know what happened, I found out about another of her cons and got to see, yet again, the damage she has done to another one of her dupes. So, I just wanna all out beat the woman, as punishment.

this stuff is very interesting.

one step


Michael Vick on TV….

BET has their reasons for giving him a reality TV series, but here’s what PETA says about it (and I agree):

PETA spokesman Dan Shannon said:

“People who abuse animals don’t deserve to be rewarded. They shouldn’t be given multimillion-dollar contracts . . . or given the privilege of being a role model. We don’t believe Michael Vick understands the seriousness of his crime. I think he’s sorry he got caught, but only time will tell if he’s truly remorseful.”


You want role models for young men????

Jay Z, Sean “P.Diddy” Combs, Russell Simmons, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Colin Powell….BARACK OBAMA FOR GOD’S SAKE!!

But Michael Vick is your choice???? Lord have MERCY!!!

I still cannot get over this.


I am so glad we have Michael Vick to straighten out the troubled young men of tomorrow.
My eyes are rolling…..

(I am being totally sarcastic right now…not even close to being serious.)

Ox Drover

I just had the TV news on and the sports which I really wasn’t listening to reported that MICHAEL VICK would be in Little Rock AR tomorrow and the announcer acted like it was a big honor to have this dog killing psychopath in our state! If it wasn’t going to be 100 degrees in the shade (if there was any shade) I would drive the 60 miles and stand there to welcome him as his plane arrives in our city with a sign that says “go home psychopathic dog killer” UGH Can you tell that this man makes my blood boil?


Ox Drover: Aw, I love dogs. 🙁 Killing a dog or hurting them is JUST AS BAD as killing or hurting a human, in my opinion. Sure, it’s a warped opinion, but it’s the way I think. Sadly, he is a hero and role model to others…

I think you should bake him a cake and give it to him. A special cake, if you catch my drift. That’s right…. A pineapple cake! Yuck. One of those and he’ll be crying in no time flat.


Rosa ~! Where ya been hiding? Good to see you….
I have a neighbor down the road that has two dogs tied up to chains, very little shade, they live a miserable life, one is a sweet pitbull that stays wrapped around a tree so tight he cant even lie down, he barks so miserable. A few times he has broken the chain and he comes to visit, he loves being petted and stroked and talked to..YES twice I have called the animal police and they did come out to investigate and called me back and said they saw no signs of abuse or neglect…these people dont treat their children much better… But anyway I called, I did my best, I tried..
Michael Vick is prolly these people’s hero… sad…..

Ox Drover

Hens, hey dum-koff, look at the DATE on Rosa’s post! I MISS HER TOO. Yea, I hate to see a dog chained up….I kept my collies in pens because other wise they would “herd” the neighbor’s stock or “herd” cars til they died or were killed, and keep the hound dog in a pen, but she has a PALACE for a house and shade and love. The Bear dog lives in the house except when he wants to chase the bear! But til the bear gets caught he can’t run loose so he has to be on a string tied to the porch when he goes out to poo….he won’t go with me “watching” LOL

Are your wieners HOT DOGS? Got to 97 here today.


Oh Duh I feel like a butt…I saw Rosa and got excited sorry :(…..yes hotter than hot here…..

Ox Drover

I wish you got that glad to see me! Now I got my feelings hurt! Boooo hoooo for me! Hens don’t love me no more! LOL 🙂


Aw Hens,
And LOL Oxy…you two! Oxy, I think you are having a great affect on me. Yesterday I sat on my porch just looking at the clouds go by and listening to the birds and I felt SO grateful!! The calm, the peace…it was HEAVEN!

I felt so fortunate to be able to do yoga, visit the farmers market, relax and go to work. Boy, I have not had one of those day’s in forever. Frankl was right; enjoy the very small teeny tiny moments…I love it! I went to the farmer’s market alone, without husband, didn’t even think of spath…guess cause they don’t except food stamps there..ugh


You always get me excited miss oxy – now go take them duckies some ice water….~!

Ox Drover

Ana, TOWANDA!!!! Absolutely, enjoy the tiny moments in life, that is what makes the whole picture is those tiny “pixels” of peace and calm and joy!

The gratitude we have for the wonderful blessings we DO HAVE, make us forget about all those things that we don’t have and really don’t need, if truth were told!

Today’s been kind of a good day around here too. Nothing “special” but just the taste of some fresh strawberries—what a wonderful blessing.

Yea those duckies do need ICE WATER, I gave them some fresh water that was cold so that was the best I could do. They laid a boiled egg this morning though, if it gets any hotter it will be fried!


Glad you had a good day too! Since I aint no farm girl…
Did those eggs really come out boiled?? Or are you just kiddin?? Lawdy…


Hi Ana!
that’s good to hear about your peace of mind.
It sounds like the PTSD is calming down. How are your therapy sessions going?


Hi Skylar,
I only go once a month, but he seems to get why I’m so afraid to be alone in public (the supermarket). I have certain things I will practice before I see him again..I like him. How are you doing?


Or better yet, in Boston they say “how you doin?”


Things are good, Ana. I lost 4 pounds. It’s so much better than gaining 4 pounds! LOL!


Wow…four pounds!! Good for you. I know how hard it is to lose just 1 lb. Keep up the good work….how did you lose it? By exercise and diet?


I quit my wine and cheese habit. It was REALLY HARD.


Cheese, yes. Wine, NO! I just started with a personal trainer at the gym. I had no idea he was Irish ’till he opened his mouth…omg. He’s out to kill me…god bless em. I nevah sweated so much in my life…heart beat WAY up..haven’t lost a pound..but it’s only been a week lololol


that’s so awesome that you’re working out with a trainer. You’ll see results fast. And adding muscle will make you feel better too.
I was working out at the club, sporadically and it didn’t make much of a dent. But then I quit the wine and immediately saw results, WITHOUT working out. In fact I’ve barely moved. going to start the club again. TOMORROW.


whoa, this thread blows me away- just read my February 3, 2010 at 6:01 pm post – I WAS MUCH MORE TOGETHER THAN OTHERS WOULD HAVE ME BELIEVE, and i almost don’t recognize my voice.

very very interesting.


You’ve always had it together. You take care of yourself. Your downfall came when a spath saw your strength and envied it. She wanted to reduce you to her pathetic state so she targeted your strength, asked you to extend it to her and take care of her, just so that she could suck it all down and flush it down the toilet. Because she never wanted your strength for herself, she prefers the life of a parasite. She just didn’t want you to have it.

She uses the pity ploy because that’s her lure for strong people and it worked on you. Inadvertantly, she has given you more strength, though, because now that you know of her kind, you’ll never fall for that again. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

Ox Drover

Ana, of course it was laid boiled! And chocolate milk comes from brown cows, and sour milk comes from cows with an attitude! LOL 🙂 Nah, just joshing! But one of my friends who is a science teacher for high school kids was joshing some kids about “duck milk” and some of them believed her!

My x husband was a city boy, and he went to get some milk at a dairy with Holstein cows (black and white) and I asked him if he saw the cows and he said yes, so I told him I could tell the COLOR of the cows by tasting the milk (sometimes you CAN tell the breed of cow and/or what they have been fed) so I pretended to sniff the milk and do like a wine tester does and I said “black and white” and he was DUMB FOUNDED that I could tell the color of the cows. LOL I finally had to tell him I cheated and tell him the truth because he started to brag about his wife being able to tell the color of the cow by tasting the milk! LOL Holstein milk has very little cream in it, plus in this area there are very few dairies that have any other kind of cow, so it was pretty good chance I was right even if I hadn’t seen how little cream was in the fresh milk.

One Joy, it is interesting to go back and read some of our old posts sometimes, to see just how far we have come from where we started out.

I think I am so much more at ease in my own skin now than I was even a year ago….and I think that each day that goes by I learn more about myself, take more pleasure in just life and living, enjoying the small things.


you know sky – i may be safe now. i may actually not fall for that again. but life is full of icky people and some of them are kind of ‘grey area’ and i guess they scare me most…

but the hardcore spaths – probably safe from them.

i’d still really like to whack her.

i keep thinking about finding out when the trial is, and taking a trip…truly.


one – I can not read my old post, it makes me very uncomfortable. But I can say you have changed, worked through some anger, you seem to be in a better place. Me too. But I have never been good at expressing anger, I just stuff it inside. I think my angry outburst ( when the X was here ) was from some deep internal fight for survival. I had never expressed such anger before or after that.


One joy,
they scare you because? do you think you will allow them into your life and they’ll hurt you?

I already know what you mean, I’m only asking the questions to get you to contemplate this.

Kathleen Hawk helped me see that we can use all of our tools together to protect ourselves, we don’t have to use them one at a time. So using your knowledge and your gut instinct together and you have a better early warning system than most people walking around.

Don’t be scared (OneJoy), I’ve got your back! And BTW, where is this trial taking place, may I ask? A road trip would be fun!

Ox Drover

One/joy, yes, I told you quite a while back that you had started to sound SANE in your posts… pain sometimes, angry sometimes, but SANE. We can experience every emotion from joy, to sadness, anger, rage, pain and still be SANE….but sometimes in the early parts of the betrayal and in semi-denial when we are grappling with the reality of the BETRAYAL we are NOT SANE—I know I was crazeee as a sheet house rat, I couldn’t think straight and I was going through emotions like”sheet through a tin horn” and so were you, but now you may be frustrated, or sad, or mad, or discouraged, but you are SANE about it….you can work through it, do something about it.

Same with Hens, we have all three of us CHANGED in the time we have been here, we have worked through the insanity, the denial, the crazees and come out the other side where we can cope with life, even things that frustrate us, or cause us problems we can deal with LOGICALLY, RATIONALLY, AND SANELY.

We still make mistakes, and make some poor choices sometimes, like me sending D’s friend over to egg donor’s to get the portrait of my late husband—it was a trap for information and it caught my “emotional toe” and I hope I learned from it not to do ANYTHING but business in correspondence with her.

But when I do something that is a mistake or a bad choice, I don’t HAVE A MAJOR MELT DOWN any more over it. I handle it in a mini-melt down, but not a soul wrenching, gut pulling, disemboweling lying on the floor in the fetal position sucking my thumb…..melt down.

I’m stronger now, and more resilient and so are you One Joy, and so is Hens. There are others here too that I have seen great growth in since they came here….I’m, not going to name them all because sure as heck I’d leave someone out and hurt someone’s feelings and I don’t want to do that….but many of our regular posters here have GROWN and I’ve seen that growth and I do a happy dance when I see someone getting it and starting to become sane again after the insanity of the abuse and the gaslighting and the lies and more lies.

You guys don’t know just how much pleasure it gives me to see you not only healing but reaching out to others to help them heal as well. Those of us that have been around on a regular basis for several years, for me going on I guess 4 now and Hens not much less than that, we’ve seen a lot of people come and go and some are still here. We’re at a point now that we are I hope not only helping ourselves more but “training the trainers” who will in turn train others how to survive psychopaths, so that it spreads to our friends, business associates, neighbors, children, family, and educates others who will in turn educate still more.

So maybe some day the “15% club” can become the “85% club” instead.((((((group hug))))))) I love you guys., but gottta go to beddie by! Nite


i understand about not being able to read your old post.

i was quite surprised by my old posts mentioned – i truly don’t remember writing those two.

stuffing anger is dangerous. i still do it. for as much as i express, i also stuff. that’s part of what overeating is about. stuffing it down.

the deep internal fight for survival – you put this so eloquently – it will make us rise up and care for ourselves. can we make ourselves rise up and defend ourselves before things get that far? can you? it is the challenge.


sky – in Illinois. i don’t know when.


((((((So down with the group hug!))))))))

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