A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It’s an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths.
Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com.
Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason’s ideas before—I don’t agree with them. You can read it here:
Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond
KatyDid
Louise,
I laugh now b/c it was so ludicrous. But yes, he was the life of the party at funerals. People LOVED it b/c he made them feel good.
Ox Drover
Sky, the “catch 22” for my P-sperm donor was he HAD TO HAVE PUBLICITY and wanted people to admire and envy him, but he so despised others as INFERIOR TO HIM that their admiration was WORTHLESS….yet he craved it. DUH????
He would say in various newspaper interviews that he was the “smartest man on earth, smarter than Einstein” and that other people, compared to him, “were like malicious chimpanzees” and he thought that people would be impressed, when actually they were REPULSED. When he got rich enough that people would toady to him he got even worse, and that was enough to make you puke!
He actually was very smart, probably in the 99th percentile, I don’t doubt that at all, because he self-taught himself a lot of very complex skills and knowledge in several very technical fields, but he had NO emotional intelligence because he was totally self centered, and totally despised others as “inferior” and “worthless.” He never had a friend in the world. He only had victims that hung around for various periods of time. His youngest son, my half sib was the only person I know who actually truly “loved and admired” him, and unfortunately, he’s “just like his father.” I’m not sure what my brother felt for his Sperm donor was actually “love” but more like “belongs to”—like a psychopath may have a pet they are devoted to because it is unconditionally accepting. The two of them seem to have mirrored each other. A mutual admiration society of 2.
Louise
Katy:
The life of the party at funerals, yeah? He was making people feel good when they felt bad at a funeral. Hmmmm.
Ox Drover
QUOTE KATY:
he was the life of the party at funerals.
ROTFLMAO SNARK SNARF CHOKE!!!!! LOL Oh, Katy, you are toooooo much! That’s a great one.
the sisterhood
The only thing I disagree with about the article is when it states that Narcissism declines with age. In my opinion, I think it gets worse. Unless you are talking about nearing end of life old age. Then, perhaps, there is some degree of reflection on ones life and maybe a bit of remorse and empathy. But, nah, I don’t think even then. It is too much a part of their makeup. It is their personality.
Eden
The Narcissists that I am aware of, 2 in particular, have become severely worse as they have aged. One is 53. The other 54. One is female. One, male. The femail is severly dangerous to one’s psyche and public reputation. She has no problem destroying others, as long as she is being fed praise and getting attention. It is filthy.
ErinBrock
In case we need a Confirmation that spaths just don’t get it…..
FB Post from a peer of my kids, on peers wall.
“People make mistakes, but mistakes are good because we all learn from them.”
Spath response…..”HOPE MY X FAMILY DOES!”
Was this a threat? What this denail and projection?
Spoken like a true drug dealing, covertly bi-sexual, thieving, child predatory type whackjob!
skylar
EB,
your exspath must be my exspath’s twin.
BTW, it was the pity ploy, they do it as a knee jerk reaction, they can’t stop.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
oxy said: ‘but he so despised others as INFERIOR TO HIM ‘…oh my, another trait of the n sib. she’s very intelligent also – but i suspect she would feel that others were inferior regardless of their relative intelligence.
i actually have a lot of empathy for my sib (um, not about the above behaviour). I know now that she has been dealing with the effects of chemical injuries for the last decade. She also has some serious emo fragility – don’t know where that came from.
mind you i might have little empathy or sympathy for her if she didn’t carry these burdens. she has always been mean – for as long as i can remember she was mean to people. and quick – she could ferret out someones weakness and exploit it in about 3 minutes flat. this is just something i have always known about her – it’s almost as if that knowledge is innate. i can’t imagine the things she has done to men over her lifetime. oy!
Ox Drover
One, it is sad really that people can be so evil, and they miss the joys of intimacy with others….they miss the contentment we can experience when we are intimate and okay within ourselves. I think they are never satisfied with themselves…no matter how arrogant and self centered they are.
The old joke about eating a chinese dinner and an “hour later you are hungry again” is the way they are about attention I think….they gorge themselves on attention, but it doesn’t “last”—and an hour later they are again seeking more attention.