When I came to the realization that I had been manipulated and defrauded by a sociopath, I felt anger and embarrassment about having been a fool. This is exactly what most people victimized by sociopaths feel.
I now know that I was targeted, and that there is no excuse for my ex-husband’s predatory behavior. Still, what was it in me that made me vulnerable to his lies and manipulation?
Sometimes there are answers waiting to be discovered. The experience of being victimized by a sociopath, as painful as it is, can lead to a personal journey of understanding, and eventually healing.
The Dandelion Spirit
M. L. Gallagher wrote a book, called The Dandelion Spirit, about her fall into the abyss with a sociopath. In poetic language, it tells the story of her deception, her near-loss of her own identity, and the beginning of her recovery. When people contact Lovefraud about a loved one who is being victimized, I often recommend the book to help them understand what is going on.
Here is how Gallagher begins the chapter called Lost On the Road to Hell:
One thing you can always count on with a fairytale princess; she will cling to her belief in make-believe just to keep from believing in what’s standing right before her eyes.
The princess couldn’t believe what was happening to her life. She couldn’t believe the Prince would knowingly, willingly, consciously lie or do things that cause her to fear for her life. To keep her mind shuttered, her eyes closed, her senses mute, she had to pretend he wasn’t. That way life could continue on in the hope that tomorrow would be different, even though the characters remained the same.
Alas, the princess couldn’t see that her rose coloured glasses were tinting her world an especially rosy pink. With her eyes shaded to the reality of the black and white truth, she couldn’t see that the shadow descending was really the Prince of Darkness rising.
And so, she continued to spiral, deeper and deeper, further and further onto the road o hell. Exit signs flew past; she ignored them. Detours appeared, she continued on her path of destruction, consciously choosing to believe the Prince would save her from death and taxes. She was wrong.
New Lovefraud Blog author
M. L. Gallagher has seen the face of evil, and the effect it can have on the human spirit. She has returned from the abyss, with words of healing.
I am pleased to announce that M. L. Gallagher will be contributing posts to the Lovefraud Blog. Look for her observations and insights beginning this Wednesday, and continuing to appear every other Wednesday (every second Wednesday, as they say in Canada). She has a lot to say, and a beautiful way of saying it.