Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.
Chapter 44C: A Second Honeymoon
Finally, I had Paul back. More importantly, I was getting “me” back. Plus, I was going to be able to escape the suburbs and live in the mountains. I had scheduled a few interviews for teaching positions at schools in Connecticut. I cancelled them. My brother was skeptical and downright worried. He thought it was all happening too fast and that Paul had a hidden agenda. But I argued that Paul was different now. Once again, he was the man with whom I had fallen in love and married. We were closer than ever before. Finally, we would have the more grounded, simpler life that I had always wanted, and we were going to do it in a beautiful place. His business was thriving, which would allow me to travel back East to see my parents any time, and Paul would stay with the kids while I did. It would also be a great fresh start for Daniel.
To make the move happen in less than three months, I went into superwoman mode. I purged our family’s belongings, built up over almost two decades together, repaired, staged, and put our house up for sale, and I worked hard to keep the house and yard in pristine condition to help it sell fast. In Utah, I researched schools, teams, karate studios, doctors, and so on. It was overwhelming, but feeling that Paul and I were part of a team once again, I put in eighteen-hour days as logistics coordinator for the move. Paul’s mother came for a week to help. Although, over the years of family visits, Ruth was always more focused on getting things done than on being a doting grandmother, I had always appreciated her help and companionship, especially because my own mother was considerably older and unable to visit frequently due to her and my father’s health issues.
By the end of June, the wheels touched down on our flight to Utah, and we closed on our new house in the mountains. Every item we owned had been given away, thrown away, or packed, and our house in Connecticut was under contract. It had been a Herculean effort, but I had done it. I felt strong and empowered.
The second day we were in town, Jessica met her new travel lacrosse team. I had prearranged her spot on the team while in Connecticut. After looking at her stats and talking to her Connecticut coach, the Utah coach had given her a place, sight unseen. I chatted with another mom, Melinda, about being new in town and noted the different style of play in this team versus the team on which Jessica had played for years back in Connecticut. Paul joined the conversation.
“No one cares what you think about the team’s attack strategy,” Paul said to me in front of Melinda. My breath caught. Melinda’s eyes widened. The conversation screeched to a halt. What?
“We’re just really happy to be here,” I said, trying to ease the tension that had resulted from Paul’s insulting comment.
Determined not to make a mountain out of a molehill, I did not even bring up the comment when Paul and I were in private. I just let it go. Moving out here had been like sprinting a marathon. We were all excited but also stressed and tired from the effort. It was a lot of change, and change is unsettling. That had to be the reason for Paul’s behavior.
Two days later, Paul left for several days on business. I was alone at the house when the movers arrived with all our belongings and our cars were delivered. Still, with the new energy I felt, I treated the work of setting up the new house as a fun challenge. Waking up in the mountains was exhilarating, cleansing, and soul-affirming.
Yes, life was good—for about a week.
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Identifying names, places, events, characteristics, etc. that I discuss here and in my book have been altered to protect the identity of everyone involved.