By | July 25, 2016 116 Comments

10 Reasons why sociopaths really are losers

Pimp con man 200x300If you’re struggling to get over an encounter with a sociopath whether a romantic relationship or some other involvement keep this in mind: They are losers.

They are not worth any emotional energy that you are spending on them, or any pain that you feel. Here’s 10 reasons why:

 1 Sociopaths cannot love the way you do

The root of serious personality disorders antisocial, narcissistic, borderline and psychopathy is an impaired ability to love. These people cannot feel empathy like you do. They are not interested in caregiving — a critical component of real love. People diagnosed as antisocials or  psychopaths are not capable of love at all.

2. Sociopaths cannot be trusted

What do sociopaths really want in life? Power and control. Their objective is always to win — whatever that may look like at the moment. So they always have an ulterior motive, and for that reason, can never be trusted.

3. Sociopaths are empty inside

They have no real passion. Oh, they may have temporary obsessions, but they do not care deeply about any person, thing, place or ideal. Without any real depth, they are caricatures of human beings, cardboard cut-outs, creatures without substance.

4. Sociopaths have no real friends

They have minions. They have co-conspirators. They have dupes. But because of items 1, 2 and 3 above, sociopaths do not have friends. They really are alone in the world. It’s sad.

5. Sociopaths have no real family

Yes, they have parents, spouses, children and relatives (possibly including you), but no one involved will feel a sense of family. The sociopath will just take advantage of relatives, and any relatives who are not themselves disordered will feel abused.

6. Sociopaths’ schemes fall apart

They’re always coming up with get-rich-quick schemes, grandiose plans that depend on other people’s money. Sometimes the plans never get off the ground. Sometimes they get started, and then sputter to a halt. Sooner or later, sociopathic schemes usually fail.

7. Sociopaths have financial problems

Even when they have a job or profession, they often have financial problems. They get fired. They lose contracts. They get sued. But often when there’s a money crisis, other people pay, not them.

8. Sociopaths have legal problems

Many sociopaths are criminals. In fact the definitions of antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy refer to criminal behavior. But even those who aren’t arrested for crimes are frequently involved lawsuits, divorces and child custody battles. None of this really bothers the sociopaths, but it will bother you.

9. Sociopaths crash and burn

Sociopaths may race along for awhile, living on the edge — maybe even for years. But at some point, their unconscionable behavior tends to catch up with them. Their financial empires collapse. They end up estranged from everyone in their lives. They may finally be arrested. Sooner or later, for many sociopaths, it all falls apart.

10. Sociopaths tend to die earlier

Promiscuous sex, drugs, crime, violence — this is how many sociopaths live. Whether it’s health problems, accidents from risky behavior or angering the wrong person, many sociopaths end up dead. And those who don’t may suffer a lonely old age. If anyone takes care of them, it’s because of a sense of duty, although I don’t think it’s warranted.

If you’re struggling to break the bonds you feel with a sociopath, refer to this list. Really, they are not worth the aggravation.

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Hope Springs


Every single one of these is 34 year old ‘SON’.

Zero contact…otherwise you continue to beat a dead horse.


not only did I have a marriage with one of these, for 29 years; but also to realize that our 3 grown sons are like their father in many ways. so not only do I have NO contact with my ex, but I’ve learned to keep the sons at arm’s length as well.


yes, zero contact.


Yes, yes and yes.
Now that its been an entire year;the spath moved to another state far, far away leaving LOTS of distance I have had time to catch my breath and sort things out.
I now know the reason I was targeted and tormented and have been working very hard to make sure it never happens again.

Hope Springs

You are so fortunate, stronginthecity, that the SP is now far away.

I wish that for all of us.



yes, far away!!!!!!!!!!!!


Best wishes.


I wish I could offer an alternative view but sadly, I can’t. It has been almost 2 years, this October, and I have not seen my daughter. From the moment I decided her promiscuity was a problem for me to accept, I have not missed my daughter at all. I see the light and whether my ill conceived marriage of 30 years to a sociopath contributed to her disorder I have decided to just move on. I use to blame myself for EVERYThing! Wasted my time, energy and financial stability on trying to make things “Right”! I stopped, cold turkey. We really can not go back. We can try but for me it was futile. I kept hearing that term, “unconditional” love. Whatever that is suppose to mean, with a selfish grownup child, it simply means, a one way street to hell! Nothing is valued, nothing is deeply appreciated and as a parent only heartache will follow. I have tried with my son and now my daughter, and nothing can heal their wounds except what they lack, “humility”! Regards, Kalina

Hope Springs

Yes, Kalina. I agree with you 100%.

You can keep trying to ‘fix’ things, but the reality is, you can’t fix things.

Unconditional love indeed. A trite saying, perhaps a nice thought, but completely impossible, when your child is disordered in this way.

Nothing is valued, nothing is appreciated, and only heartache follows. Perfectly said.

A one way street to hell, indeed, again…I have almost ‘plagiarized’ your entire post, because your post is a perfect post that explains TRYING to be a parent to a child like this. You simply can’t.

Hope Springs

Oh, and no, we cannot go back. I know if I have contact with SON again, it will be my demise…the death of me…not literally, but emotionally.


Been a long time since I’ve posted here. I do read often however.
My adult, 32, year old daughter is a Spath.

She stole thousands from me while I was in the hospital, almost dying from the Swine Flu…had many organ failures and COPD on top…no sympathy needed here. This was 2 years ago. Was in a coma for 4 weeks. My daughter gave the wrong info to the doctors about my medicines. Didn’t find that out for many months after I came home.

She had stolen jewelry from me that her late grandmother had left to me as well…all 14K gold.

I was so fed up I filed a lawsuit against her…called a promissary note due that forced her to sell her house. (paid by her late grandfather)
She hasn’t worked in five years with two kids in school.

My health is very poor and this lawsuit is my last resort to somehow expose her for what she is. The family has turned against me, on her dad’s side, which doesn’t concern me since we are divorced.

This daughter never bonded with me. How about the other of you??? My daughter as a baby didn’t climb on my lap, didn’t like to be held, rocked, loved…just wanted her freedom.
It was if she existed somewhere out there.

She was diagnosed as a sociopath in her late teens.
She made my life a living hell.

I have seen my young granddaughters once in 2 years. It breaks my heart that they are missing out on time with me as I love them dearly.

I wonder how GOD judges them? DO YOU?

I pray to try to forgive, but I just can’t do it. I believe that you have to repent first and have remorse. I don’t expect GOD to forgive us unless we ask HIM to.

My grands don’t ever go to a church…know nothing about Jesus…so very sad.
I hope she gets what’s coming to her before I die. I don’t wish her harm, but I hope she does something that causes her to be LOCKED UP a long time.
Then, maybe those girls (grands) will have a chance at some type of life!

Sorry to be so long but I have a lot to say! I do support a few others going through similar circumstances and that makes me feel good.


Caroline Good for you.

Hope Springs

Ditto Caroline.

SON (sorry, I can’t put the word ‘my’ in front of the word son any more) never felt like he was mine, from the day that he was born. Like you, he never wanted to be cuddled, never climbed into my lap, never wanted to be held, and never even liked to be fed as a baby. He also seemed to want to just be free, of me, of my husband, of other people. He preferred to be alone. He did indeed seem like he was just somewhere out there. That’s a good way to put it.

SON would not skip a beat if either of us, or probably anyone, died. I am certain of that. He also has two children who I do not and will not see. SON wants us to, but just because of how that appears to others. He is in a nasty fight with his ex over those children, or was for the past year…go figure. Before they split up, he barely was at home or had anything to do with the children. Of course, after the break up, he had to ‘look good’ by pretending to fight for them. I do not wish to confuse those children as I cannot pretend…I do not like SON.Since he is their father, I will bow out. They live 3 hours away, anyway, so that makes it easier.

I don’t think it is about forgiving. I think that it is simply a realization that there is no love or a relationship there. There never can be. I want nothing to do with SON, who is now 34, and it took me until last year when his marriage fell apart, to fully realize it.

Yes, it feels very good to support others who are going through much the same. That is what gets me through!


Bev, it’s nice to “meet” someone with an adult child that has no conscience.
Most posts, it seems, are regarding male/female relationships.

To me the most difficult situation is when it involves someone we gave birth to.

I hate to admit this but I have asked GOD many times over and over..WHY did you give me a daughter like her…I know HE knows HIS reason, but I will never understand it.

It made me more skeptical, less trusting, negative, stressful, all negatives in my life for many years.

The ONLY earthly thing that has made me hang on is having a son who is nothing like her. THAT is my saving grace.

Maybe one day after we leave this earthly place, we will know what GOD had planned for us. There is a lesson in all of this, I just don’t know what it is……..still waiting for a revelation…LOL

Nice to meet you!


Caroline & Bev;
I am in the enviable position of just having been discarded by my most recent Spath, but also am raising one of the children of my adult Spath who fortunately (even though tragically the child called my ex Spath “Daddy” and had definitely been exposed to some peculiar behaviors) has been with me since a baby and seems to be completely normal. I also have a grown son, who, although he mimics some of his narcissistic father’s behavior, has a lot of empathy and seems deep down to be good.

Yes, I have a knack. Two years after I divorced my first narcissist and feeling pretty strong (after recovering from 18 years of emotional abuse) I met my next “partner”. Thank God we never married. But he was good, he behaved differently, seemed exactly like me and it seemed we were soul mates. Although in hindsight, I remember him telling me that he didn’t believe in soul mates. I wasn’t listening. Furthermore, he supported me with my “no contact” with my daughter (at the time 19) who had since birth been a little weird. Same. No climbing in the lap, always wanted to be put down, nursed only because she was hungry, not at all like my son who I lugged around for 2 years. She was mean to him too. I know part of who he is has something to do with his sister and his father, both of whom were incredibly heartless and cruel to him, and me.

So, you’d think after having been traumatized by my first husband, (who was a mean, nasty, verbally abusive man) and my daughter who I(once I knew what it was) could see clearly was a sociopath with no kindness or empathy in her, would have gotten a little smarter. But I used up all the strength I had garnered; dealing with the crystal meth crash parties at my house, all of my valuables being stolen by her and her friends, having her involuntarily committed after a feigned suicide and leaving me to take care of the little one. And enter Mr. Wrong. He was there to save the day. He put on a good show. For 10 years. And he upheld the no-contact rule with my daughter so I didn’t have to. I’ve heard that like vampires, sociopaths can spot other sociopaths and don’t want them around.

I know what its like. The disappointment, the guilt, the shame at having brought a child into the world who didn’t turn out “right”. It’s heartbreaking. All the years of trying to fix things, all the repeated bizarre behavior which bore no resemblance to anything I had tried to teach. My whirlwind of SPath experiences at this point seems to be lifelong. I can’t really believe how many I’ve encountered or been in relationships with. I’m sure I’m above average in that category. Only now, am I really figuring it all out. Only now am I staring the evil in the face and calling it what it is. I have always tried to see the good in everyone. It is a tragic flaw in my character although I never thought it so until recently. Some people have no good in them. And for whatever reason (I’m working on it) I am to them as a magnet to steel.

I have a lot more – but its late.

Hope Springs

Nice to meet you, too Caroline!

I have no other children, because of SON. After him, I did not want any more.

Yes, it is the most difficult situation to give birth to a disordered one. Mothers are expected to love and accept their children, no matter what. That old chestnut, ‘unconditional’ love, that is driven into our heads. I have learned that I cannot and do not care what others think any more.


I gotta say. The guy chased me down like a cheetah on prey. I didn’t even know he was alive, yet he noticed me, and noticed I had a hyper active son who was wearing me thin. He noticed that my son kept working me for ice cream even after I allowed him to have it, and I was paying for it, my little son kept working on me while I was nervously digging for change in my purse to pay for the ice cream. The kid was still working me for ice cream while I was paying for it! I was nervous cause I was so embarrassed. The predator was watching on the sidelines. He tracked me down on the dating site. Please don’t let this become a topic of dating sites. The predator could have tracked me down in other ways.

Cause I feel that people think online is taboo, and they may gain a false sense of security if they meet a predator at picnic, or at church, or at wedding.

Of course I noticed that he had nothing to offer. It’s just that he had this standoffish way that made me work harder to get his attention. I wouldn’t do that now. It’s just that the guy got me at the right moment when I was vulnerable. As predators will do. AND I was open minded. Or least that is what I thought. Looking back, no it was not open minded, IT was WIDE OPEN to attack. Vulnerable.

He is the guy who would blow me off on weekends. Then expect me to take his calls on Monday morning. Cause he wanted to go grocery shopping with my car.

His house is a hoarder house. He walks on garbage. NOT even a clean path through house. He lines up urine bottles in the living room, and urine bottles lined up in his bedroom. He says his back is broken, his knees are broken, he has nerve damage, and sciatica. But, his body doesn’t hurt too bad to storm over to my house to bust down the door if I don’t answer the phone on Monday morning.

I could see the guy is a loser. It’s just that he made himself GOD.

And, he has his endless following who confirms he is GOD. I was out numbered.

Now to point out about meeting a guy at a wedding. He said he used to crash weddings. He would buy a card. Place it in the Gift Box at the reception, sign the registry. He made it look like he was invited to the wedding. He said he was looking for women, and while he was at it, he could enjoy the free food and drink. Going by that, he could do the same thing at a church.

Not to make anyone fearful. Just go by your gut instincts. If something feels OFF, then trust your gut.

Remember the Zodiac Killer operated on a church computer.

Hope Springs

Yes, P/SPs do feel ‘off’. Your gut, or intuition, does tell you that. As normal empathetic humans, we often ignore that inner voice and instead, give others the benefit of the doubt.

I am so sorry for all the SPs that you have had to deal with. You are no longer a ‘magnet’, for now, you are aware.

Cheers to you, your wisdom, and your strength.


I also gotta point out the guy looks SO innocent! I saw him in recent months at the food bank. He was sitting on bench in front. Maybe he had someone picking up the food for him. His arm was in a sling. He sat there looking so innocent. Yet, I know he has a criminal mind.

My son also saw him elsewhere and my son said the same thing. He looks so innocent, even though he is NOT.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul. But, if the mind has been talking lies over and over again to the point where the person believes their own lies. . . , they’re eyes lie.

I will never forgot when I first met him. He was not doing that innocent look. He gave me that hard predator stare.

I about jumped out of my skin it scared me that bad. Yet, I obeyed.


I feel I need to make an important distinction between a sociopath who is an ex husband or lover and a sociopathic child. The trauma is different, the grieving is longer and there is more personal responsibility when the loss is one’s child. Of course, I’m referring to a grown up child. The loss of hope when one has been devoted to a child involves very deep and mostly complex forms of grief. I make it a point to take full responsibility for the absence of a relationship with my daughter. I never disclose any hint of a flaw in her character. She may say negatives about me, perhaps even slander my name, as did my son and ex husband, and mother as well, I however, never say a nasty or hurtful thing about any of them. I actually do not need to hurt anyone behind their back. It would simply create doubt about my own sincerity. Her motive, they would say, “envy” because she lacks the charisma and charm of the person she is defending herself from. The sociopath is so much more skilled than any of us to reap the advantages of a well placed assault. We, labeled as their opponents in this zero-sum game, will feel like we have been buried alive!! Just know who you are, where you want to go with your life and how you want to get there. That is a far more rewarding battle to fight than one with a “Spath”! Regards, Kalina

Hope Springs

Wow, thank you Kalina. Well said.


AMEN. I really needed to see this right now! Thank you for this website!


Haven’t been on for a while…. but this article AND comments ring so many bells for me!!!!
For those who do not know my story, my wolf in sheep’s clothing was my greatest life lesson.
ALL the points in the article resonate…This man who I once thought of as a brilliant engineer Sr. Global position in multinational tech companies is AGAIN unemployed. Four jobs in four years…..this time though he must have become impatient and played hard enough to become named as a company’s officer in a class action suit by share holders. SEC investigations are brutal!!!!
He has spent SO irrationally on lawyers and bling for his targets that I remain his first lien holder. ( Never going to see a dime of it).
He has had to stay married to the woman he had an international long distance affair with…He is miserable and tries to pity play me CONSTANTLY!!!
NO family relationships
No relationship with my daughter…..My son has estranged himself from all of us.
No friends.
Shallow unhappy and miserable….Thank God I’m not with him now!!!
He was SOOOOOO covert for 28 years I was never married and miserable. But once the mask slips……RUN and keep away!!!
For me as well the greatest sorrow has been estrangement from my son.
My daughter has openly told me that she is aware that she too has traits but makes conscious choices to be good. Almost seven years and I have a zero BS tolerance. Stargazer if you read this it came from one sentence you had written: “If its not fun I’m done!!!!”
In a healthy happier place now!!!!


Yes, they are losers.

Cindy Silogram

The pen is mightier than the sword. I have to believe that is true. The depth of sorrow knows no bounds when fighting a sociopath narcissist. That is a joke. You cannot fight a sociopath. They do not have the capacity to lose. They must win at all cost and they will bring you down to the lowest rung on the ladder. Lower than you ever thought you could go. And when you think it cannot get any worse, and when you think you cannot feel any more helpless than you do right now they bring you down another notch. And this continues day after day, month after month, year after year until you decide you have had enough. When you finally get the courage, you will try to fight for what is rightfully and legally yours. You might think the law is on your side if you live in a community property state like California but let me give you a piece of advice from a person who has been trying to divorce a sociopath for 2 years. Do not bother looking for justice, there is none. The law can be manipulated by a manipulator. oo

The law actually rewards liars. My sociopath narcissist hides money obtained from his cash businesses and it is too expensive to find the money. My sociopath lies on his income and expense declaration and no one seems to care. My narcissist cheats the government on his taxes and the IRS does not care either. My narcissist has everyone duped into thinking he is such a great guy. None of these people sees him for who he really is. What a scam.

My sociopath narcissist emotionally abuses my son and yells at him when he misses a ball in basketball when they are on the same team because his dad cannot stand it when his son loses, and no one cares. I have asked the lawyers to intervene and help me but they do not.

There is nothing I can do to stop this process. It has a life of its own. I cannot get my attorney to settle this, I cannot stop the forensic accounting and legal fees. It just keeps on going like the Energizer bunny. My sociopath needs some major karmic payback. But there is no such thing as karma with a sociopath. They have no conscience, never feel guilt, shame or empathy. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate him and it is wasted hate. He does not care I hate him. The only thing the hate does is to eat me up inside. Of all the emotions I have experienced in the last two years nothing has been beneficial other than positive. The fear did not help anything. The anger got me nowhere. The anxiety failed to produce any positive experience and the depression just sapped my energy and stopped me from accomplishing those things that needed my attention the most; my family and my business.

From someone who has endured more emotional pain than she ever thought she could, the only thing left is to try to help someone else in similar shoes so they do not have to go through the same torturous experience I have gone through. So here it is my advice to you is if you have children, protect them at all cost. Then your goal should be to do whatever it takes to get the sociopath out of your life. Do not try to find justice. There will never be any. If you need to walk away, then walk away…strike that, run away. Do not fight him, it is not worth it. No amount of money in the world is worth this horrible emotional pain. The sociopath is abusing you then the lawyers are, the court system, the judge, the forensic accountants. You cannot win with a sociopath. You will never get him to feel remorse. You will never get him to say he is sorry. You will never get him to acknowledge his behavior. He will never see how cruel he is.
It is impossible for you to not feed into your anger and your helplessness when you have children with a sociopath ex you live this ever-evolving, never ending nightmare 24/7 with no end game. Equally horrific is that your family and friends who love you, the only people you have in the world that you can turn to for love, support and loyalty end up being the ones who untended hurt you the most with their love and support because it is impossible for them to help you and that is inconceivable for them and you to accept. The best thing you can do for yourself is to accept that you are alone. It’s not going to be easy, it is going to take great strength, you’re going to have push yourself harder. Once you accept this gut, soul, heartwrenching fact”the best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to start a new life, knowing you may never heal from the pain is your best weapon to help you redirect your negative energy into positive energy. Get things done. The only justice that exists is one day your children will see him for what he is and that is when he find himself all alone. The thing that he fears the most will come true. That is the day you will have your justice. You just won’t be around to see it because you will be off somewhere enjoying your life. I hope.


Each situation is different but I agree with Donna. I think they are losers.


Can someone please answer my question….since Path’s are incapable of love, does this mean they do not and will never love their own children?

Hope Springs

I will chime in.

Spaths may appear to love their own children, and may even believe that they love their own children.

It may be a ‘sick’ kind of love…different that real love for one’s children, in that spaths usually have children to have some sort of control over someone, as they thrive on control. Spaths also have children so that others will see them as ‘normal’ or good people.

It is hard to explain. Spaths tend to ‘show’ over love in public, but things are usually much different behind closed doors. In a neglectful way. They will often appear to ‘love’ being around children, as children are easier to control and do not ‘see’ that the spath is disordered.

Hope Springs

Also…there is a darker side to spaths and children.

We have to be very careful that the spath is also not a pedophile, whether they have acted on it yet, or not.

These disordered people can be both, and often are. Spaths seem charming and to generally ‘love’ being around children…but often are discovered at a later date, to be pedophiles as well.

Just a heads up here.

Cindy Silogram

How do sociopaths view their children?

You might think that because sociopaths do not ’love’ in the traditional sense, then they will think nothing of their children, so why won’t they go quietly? The truth is that the sociopath, just as they view their partners, well even more than they view their partners, see their children, as something that they own their possession, something that is theirs, as much theirs as their arms or legs.
The sociopath can feel great attachment to their children. But almost always this is for their own selfish supply to meet their own needs, as
they are unable to put the needs of anyone before themselves. They also cannot place the needs of the child in front of their own.

This means that the sociopath will likely use the child to control you. You might read recommendations on posts that say, NO contact!!! And think, but I can’t? I have children. How can I have no contact? This is impossible. You are right. It is impossible. You most likely will feel despair and feel trapped. knowing that the sociopath can now try to use your child as a weapon to manipulate and control you.

For instance,
Tell you that you are wicked, or cruel or a bad parent, if you do not allow him to see their child. That you are not acting in the best interests of the
child (even if you are)

Constantly changing the goal posts, chopping and changing their mind, leaving you upset, and not wanting to let your child down, or see your
child hurt

Belittling you, or your parenting skills either to the child, or in front of
your child

Using the excuse to talk about the child, to keep in contact with you, and to then use information gained

Telling you that you are a bad parent and threatening to take your children away from you”

Sociopaths enjoy playing the legal game and having lawyers to fight against you, they will use the legal process to fight you, and make your
life hell, just ”“ because they can!!

Hope Springs

Yes, Cindy. This is all very true.

They do view their children as possessions, that they own. That is the psuedo ‘love’ that they have.

Unfortunately, it looks like real love, to outsiders. It looks like ‘love’, when, really, their children are just tools for manipulation. In many ways. To support their ‘illusion’ that they want to project to the world. To torment an ex with. The list goes on.


I read that they are incapable of closure and keep coming back. I was harassed by a female neighbor and distanced myself from her but I recently was out and she walked by and said hi as though there was no horrendous history. They are weird.


A mutual female friend of the psychopath thought he was a nice guy but I recently saw her and she now knows he is a jerk.

Hope Springs

That is all we can hope for…that eventually, others will see.


I agree.


It’s been a year of no contact. Recovery is good.

Hope Springs

Yes. It is the only way.

We are not happily skipping through the fields of life, but no contact is better than anything else.

I an happy for you Sunnygal…:)


Sandra Brown will be on Flourish (Hay House Radio Show) with Dr. Christine Northrop, dec. 14, morning, ‘Making life easy: relationships’. Check local station. Also later on archives.


I did something today that reminded me of the recent psychopath but I was O.K.


In her book ‘Women who love psychopaths’, Sandra Brown describes 5 kinds of psychopaths- paranoid, schizoid, aggressive-explosive anger, destructive, swindler, sexual-often well educated, good job, distortion of impulses. I had a distant relationship with a sexual ppath and a recent relationship with an aggressive ppath. If you were involved with a ppath, what type was he.


I’m still thinking about the 5 types of psychopaths.


A friend in VA was just warned by her nice neighbor that her new female neighbor is a sociopath. Good she was warned.


I was stalked by a female neighbor who thought there was a relationship. There was none. It stopped eventually but she still comes by ocassionally. Some hang on.


Today I briefly saw the aggressive psychopath after a year and a month. As soon as I recognized him I moved away but I was not affected as I was before. Knowing that he is a person with a personality disorder whose brain is different has definitely helped.


Hi. I haven’t talked to you ladies in a while. Last time i wrote i said i started seeing someone. I found out that i was way more hurt and distrustful than i thought. I basically freaked out when i heard from him in a couple of days and he was just sick. Luckily we have known each other a long time and he knows what this person put me through. I never realized how this person destroyed my trust. I have another male friend that i go do things with and did the same thing.

On another note while looking back i figured out the reason my relationship was so awful. My ex didn’t even like me. His just kept me around for his amusement. What an awful person. But i do miss the person that he portrayed to be. I don’t believe he can ever be this person or Maybe he can but just not with me…

I keep working on moving back to my home state of Florida. 2000 away from this awful place. It’s not just him it’s the people. They are so rude and unfriendly. I need to go back to the south. We talk slower and have manners and make better tea. Please pray that on mu trip in March i am able to find a place i can afford. I think once i go home life will be so much better…

Thanks for listening cause i don’t have anyone else. I hope ya’ll are doing well


Hi…did you make it home? If not, you will.
Mine doesn’t like me either but told a therapist that he felt responsible for me. This was when I first wondered what was going on. I’m aware now.


I posted this on FB on Dec 26, 2016 I wrote this in hopes that the loser ex reads it and leaves me alone. He has been hoovering each month for the last 4 months. I will never ever go back. I believe he is a victimize extreme narcissist.

It’s been a while since I written about narcissism. I have been extremely busy with a thing called living life to the fullest! Today, I will address the Victimized Extreme Narcissist (VEM).
According to statistics approximately 6 percent of Americans are afflicted with narcissist personality disorder (NPD). All individuals have a low percentage of narcissism and this is okay. In fact, a low percentage of narcissism is healthy as part of one’s self-esteem. On the other hands, someone afflicted with full blown narcissist personality disorder (NPD) is not healthy. In fact, these people will create havoc everywhere they go. Like sociopaths and psychopaths narcissist lack empathy, and are pathological liars. They are master manipulators and are not easily embarrassed. Rarely those with these disorders kill. Unless, they are the extreme psychopath that vie on spilling blood for thrills like we have seen on TV.
Types of narcissist (Somatic, Cerebral and Oh My!)
There are several types of narcissist. The somatic narcissist and the cerebral narcissist are those that you find more information about on the Web and literature. The somatic narcissist is most obsessed with the body (soma). These are some of the types you will see flexing their muscles at the gym. Note, that not all that flex their muscles are narcissist. The cerebral narcissist use their intellect. The cerebral narcissist is a know it all and will immediately let you know while engaging in a discussion. They aim to win at all cost. However, there is another type of narcissist that is the most dangerous of all. The victimized extreme narcissist (VEN). This type flies under the radar because unlike the somatic and the cerebral narcissist there is not a lot of information for this type of narcissist. This is the narcissist I will refer to here.
Traits of victimized extreme narcissist
Victimized Extreme Narcissist are covert pathological liars. They will lie with such conviction that they are almost believable until you learn otherwise. They manipulate everything to avoid being seen for who they truly are. They fabricate stories about their misfortunes. They pretend to have the worst of all circumstances, including a horrible upbringing. They have learned from an early age that by playing the victim they can control others with the pity ploy. These types will tell you how their children abandoned them through no fault of their own. They will tell you about how their exes fooled around on them and all the craziness the exes put them through. Poor them! They will tell you how they lost their jobs, because their bosses had it out for them, or how a certain contract wasn’t renewed. How they couldn’t land a certain position they applied for, because there was someone in the company that didn’t like them from a previous life time. They will tell you how they can’t pay child support because their boss would not give them enough work hours. When you begin digging you come to find out that their exes left because they were pure evil to them. Their children don’t want anything to do with them, because they were too selfish, immature and self-centered to become parents. The worst is that they will always put their needs before their children’s. They lost their job because they stole from the company and they did not get the new job because frankly everyone knows what a parasite they are.

The victimized extreme narcissist is society’s parasite. They are followed by debt collectors. They steal and think nothing of it. They write bad check and if caught will look for other ways to dupe others for money or blame someone else. They even steal from those they claim to love. They own nothing, because they squander it all away. They borrow your money with promises to pay and you will never see it. They claim to never have money for one reason or another to leech off others. The more you give, the more they take. They have several foreclosures and divorces. They are bottomless dark pits with no soul. They are con artist and master exploiters. They will cry crocodile tears to get you to drop your defenses. They love drama. In fact, they will cause drama every second they can and call you a bully for standing up to them when in reality they are the ones doing the bullying. They work at meaningless jobs. If they managed to stay in a job long term believe me it’s because no one else wanted them. They are leeches and vermin of society. They cheat their way through life with everyone including love interest. They do not form relationships and do not have friends. They are callous and mean.
Dupers Delight.
When you encounter a victimized extreme narcissist they will mirror everything about you. This is because they do not have a true self. They have created a false self to dupe others into liking them. This is not who they really are. They will ask questions to get to know everything about you. This is information they will use against you in the future. They will tell you to confide in them and tell you they will never hurt you while stabbing you in the back. They will stress how honest they are to get you to drop your defenses. They are the true epitome of evil. The victimized extreme narcissist will lie and pretend that they are building a relationship with you meantime they have other victims they are duping as well. They will call and text you constantly, but not because you mean anything to them. They do not love you and never will. They are securing you as supply for money, sex or admiration. They have several supplies that they dupe and you are just another supply in their queue. They will break every promise they ever swore. Once you call them on their lies they will gas light you with a thousand excuses. If you persist on being treated fairly they will rage at you. They will accuse you of doing to them exactly what they are doing to you.
Trying to reason with the narcissist to see you as an equal and treat you with respect is like a dog chasing its tail. It’s the merry-go-round from hell. They will try to bully you into submission to control you and then tell you that you are trying to control them. This is when you see their mask slip. The person you met and promised you the world is a fake. The hero is truly a zero in aluminum foil who strolled up on a decrepit donkey. The person behind the fallen mask is their true self. The person with the mask on is the fake person they created by mimicking you and others. They pick up a trait from every victim that they have conned.
The victimized narcissist mimics others, because they have no creativity. To have creativity you must have a true self. Mimicking other’s behavior allows them to go through life duping others. This is call dupers delight. In fact, if you look back many of your slogans or words you use with them, they will use them with you. Anything you like they will use on their other victims. They betray you in the worst way. If you ask them for something they will not give it to you. In fact, they will give it to the new victim. They bring nothing with them. They offer nothing, and yet expect you to be loyal, caring and giving. They are callous and the devil’s spawn. They are an 8 years old in an old person’s body. They are true children of the corn.
Silent treatment
When you begin to see their mask slip and confront them about their lies they will give you the silent treatment. The silent treatment is a form of cruelty and their favorite immature pastime. The purpose of this is to get you to bend at their will. This is a form of control. The silent treatment can go on for hours, weeks or months. They will not discuss anything like mature adults. They lack souls, and consideration. Traits that a normal human being values. However, they will assure you that they do. Once you catch on to their game they will discard you or cause drama so you can discard them. Then they will blame you for the failure of the relationship. Nothing with them is peaceful. Your health will suffer. You will never be at peace. You will never carry a mature conversations with these evils seeds. They delight in getting you to stoop to their level of pond scum. This is because they live for fuel, positive or negative. Fuel is what gives them existence, because they have no life nor foundation from which they operate from. Normal people play by certain standards and rules. We treat others the way we want to be treated. We abide by rules. We love and support each other and expect the same in return. We praise each other for a job well done. These are all elements that does not apply to the victimized extreme narcissist. They are parasites who do not follow any standard of society. You were pursued only to be used.
The Dark Cloud
Unlike the somatic and cerebral narcissist the VEM is unkempt. Many times going days without bathing. They look haggard and beat down. Their clothes are untidy and outdated. Once a good looking person, no longer can rely on their looks. VEMs also have extreme addictions. Some are addicted to drugs, alcohol, black coffee and/or chain smoking. This causes them to have black teeth and severe cavities. In fact, in a recent study the more extreme narcissist the darker and more robust the coffee they preferred. They hate to be alone, because they cannot stand themselves.They will take anything in the form of supply, including both genders, old, young and transgender. VEMs have no gender. They do not see black or white. Everyone is for the taking. They stoop so low they will go after anyone as long as he/she breath. Even it it means going after the lowest of the low. This is termed low grade supply. Anyone that gives them some form of validation.
They are always on the run from themselves. This is because their souls are so dark and gets darker from all the evil they have done. To be alone is to have to face their evil. They rarely sleep and when they do, they do not think of those who they have hurt. They fall straight to sleep without a care in the world. Like an addict, once their eyes open, the only thing on their mind is supply. They are on every dating site known to man using old pictures or other images that do not show who they really are. This is done to hook anyone that bites. They look for anyone for supply (money, sex, admiration, or fuel).
The VEM is also addicted to porn. They prefer this to building decent human relationships. Due to severe porn addition they become impotent. They spend hours on their phone and computer looking for anything that will give them a cheap thrill including prostitutes and one night stands. They send naked photos and videos of themselves that wind up on the web for the world to see. They have unprotected sexual encounters with anyone. They do not value anyone no matter how kind, giving, and good you are to them. Every relationship they have or had they destroy.
Like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown a dark cloud follows them everywhere. They will blatantly lie to you and gaslight you once you dig up their lifestyle with such a straight face and conviction that you begin to question your sanity. You may hear horrible truths about them from others, but never in your wildest dreams will you think these are the same two people. Believe it, they are! You may even get lucky and spot one of their naked photos on the web or even have one or of their victim’s contact you and when you compare notes you then know that you have encountered the most evil soul ever. Scratch that, they are soulless. Don’t doubt yourself anymore this is who they truly are!
Grumpy Old Men
Narcissist worsen with age. They age prematurely. They become more bitter and angry. They perceive everything as an attack to their ego. The rage at the slightest suggestion to become a better kinder human being. They are those old folks who yell at you for stepping on their lawn, taking their parking spot even though they didn’t pay for it and don’t own it. They are mean! They are followed by debt collectors, they own nothing. Their homes go into foreclosure. They work at meaningless jobs out of boredom and to get away from home to continue doing their evil deeds. They have several marriages because at the end everyone leaves them. What they fear most, abandonment, they set up for themselves. The Extreme Victimize narcissist will blame the world for all of their misfortunes. Don’t be fooled. They have burned everyone, including those they profess to love, (Gag!).
Eventually life catches up with them. This is their karma. VEMs fail over and over, because they do not plan for the future. They only live in the present. They do not have a sense of time. They love no one. Eventually they lose those who were good to them. Those that once loved them no longer care if they are found on the side of the road dead as a door nail. Unfortunate, but true. What they reap is what they sow! So for those who have been in this hell hole of a relationship, it’s important to understand that you have been abused, gas lighted, manipulated and used by a con artist who lacks human decency and respect. You were used for their own entertainment and to gain supply. Mark my words, karma gets them all the time. I have seen it over and over.
Out of the Fog
Never blame yourself. It wasn’t you! Leave this person behind and no matter what never try to help them again. This person is disordered and broken. This is why they act this way. They hate the world as much as they hate themselves. They don’t build relationships. They collect people to use and abuse at their leisure. Close all communication with them, block their number, block their emails and never ever look back. You will notice that you are so much happier. Your health will restore to normal. You are no longer on edge. Go lead the beautiful life that God intended you to lead. You are no one’s to use and abuse. You can do bad all by yourself. Also, never allow them back into your life. They’ll never change. They never valued you for your goodness, for your kindness for your love.
Most importantly, it is not you who is not worthy. It is the VEM who is not worthy of you! You are real, you are human and have empathy. Put all your love towards someone who truly loves you. This is the person worthy of your love, compassion and kindness. You made a mistake of letting someone so cruel and callous into your beautiful world. However, never allow this mistake to define you. They are now someone else’s mistake. Thank your lucky stars for this. There are billions of people in this world. Therefore, there is a vast number of people who will love you for you and not for what they can use you for. Most importantly, they are not disordered. You are now out of the fog! Peace and love to all those who have encountered such evil!


Dear Equanimity113,
Oh my word- this has to be one of the BEST descriptions I have ever read!!! This fits the “thing” my sister is with to a Tee!!! Oh how I wish so bad my sister, who is living with a sociopath/narcissistic scum bag for about 3 years now, would read this…….how on earth could I get her to read this?? I have emailed, texted & even mailed articles for her to read & she throws them away & basically tells me to get out of her life that I’m nothing but a “bully” -please keep in mind we 3 sisters were The closest sisters/Bestfriends our entire life (were now 48,50 & 51) until he appeared needing a place to stay for 30 days while getting a divorce from his very sweet ex-wife that he has 5 kids (girls) with. My dad says”Dont worry, when his 5 daughters start dating and turn 18 or get married,they’re bf/husbands will keep them away from him and he will get paid back”. Do you or anyone have any recommendations?? I know most people tell me to let her learn on her own, but I know her better than this and I know he has totally conned my sister (not to also mention she just battled Breast Cancer, that he convinced her that her family left her during this time…..oh and during her chemo he had her borrow over $100k against her house that was PAID OFF!!!! I would appreciate any advice anyone has……I miss my sister so very much and Imy family is just lost without her in our life. She’s missing out on so much with my kids & our other sisters kids. Blessing to you for taking the time to write this and GOOD for you for getting away!!! May God Bleas you!


Hi Heartbrokensister,

I have read your post on Love Fraud before. I can’t imagine your pain. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do, because her barrierson are up . Remember, she’s victim caught up in his lies. She cannot identify with your pleaschedule of rescuing her. He has conditioned her to only identify with him. The only thing I can suggest is continue to love her, let her know that you will always love her and be there for her, but allow her to grow from the hard knocks of life. As you know some victims can remain in an abusive relationship for decades. This is because they have been duped by the N/S/P. I recently read an article that stated that these disordered individuals will potray to be a normal family member for as long as it suits them. They need a family unit to seem normal to the outside world. What we see spouses don’t. However, once that he is done using them they will move on in the worst way like all N/SPs do. This is why you will read about spouses that have been abandoned decades later, and the disordered has moved to a more prominent supply. They never in their wildest dreams ever imagined this would happen to them. It happened to my mother after 20 years of marriage. She helped him become rich and he left her penniless for a younger woman. She wasn’t better supply. She was just a newer appliance. She suffered the same fate my mother did. However, today she is penniless, and my mother acquired everything back including never ever ignoring my father’s pleas to return to him 15 years later when he needed new supply. He died a lonely old man. Karma? You bet! I pray to God that your sister wakes up, but sometimes it takes more thanews we could ever imagine to free them from the devil’s grasp.

The narcissist sees I’m happy. I am now a shiny appliance. They like a challenge. However, to me he’s an old over used appliance who I discarded after one of his rages. I wanted to get him back for discardING me. Now I ignore him. I thank God every day for giving me the opportunity to discard and ignore him.

Hope Springs

Another beyond wonderful post! Thank you for posting on here.

You are making many of us so happy and also making us smile 🙂


Thank you Bev,
I wish I knew I wish how to edit. When I was discarded it was the worst pain. I gave him another chance and same raging crazy behavior. I discarded him. He couldn’t stand this, because they have to do the discarding and it has to be on their terms. He’s back full force professing his love, gag me! He stalks my Facebook and knows I’m happy so he wants me back for revenge. Ugh!

Hope Springs

I totally understand.

Yes, they do not like to be discarded…they must be the discard-er, and, on their terms, only. They also do not like to see you happy, because they cannot feel true happiness.

You are so wise to all of the antics. Doesn’t that make you feel stronger, though?



I posted the above summary on the Victimized Extreme Narcissist on my FB page. He stalks me and sees me happy with the love of my life who I went back to. He is extremely good looking, whereas the sociopath is not. He dresses well. Whereas the sociopath is a bum. He gives me everything I want without me asking. Whereas the sociopath is cheap and broke. He contacts me and I ignore it. I thought this would be a hint for him to move on, but it did not phase him.

Hope Springs




4,6,7,8, and 9 aren’t true. I know this narrows the list down to five things, four if you don’t count #10(It’s kinda iffy) but sociopaths are capable of emoting. Just not in the same way as you. Sociopaths can have friends, but it’s less loving friendship, more of a strong bond of not wanting to lose the person and knowing that the person is good. Just because your reality isn’t the same as their reality doesn’t mean their reality doesn’t exist. As for legal, financial, and ‘scheme’ problems- well there isn’t always a problem. Lot’s of people make it to the top of the chain who have sociopathic tendencies and do better than most people. (Woah, low key the President is possibly a sociopath, I’ll get back to you on that one but he’s a billionaire) their schemes more often than not actually don’t fall apart. If they get sloppy in a relationship, or something maybe? But what some people call ‘falling apart’ is a sociopaths way of saying ‘I dont need this person anymore’ You broke up? Maybe not because their scheme fell apart, probably because they don’t need you anymore and they got bored( or because you are a jerk, or because they genuienly wanted to just end things). They stopped being your friend? Probably because you’re a jerk or they don’t need you anymore and they got bored. A smart sociopath can finesse their way to the top without anyone noticing.

Hope Springs


Hmmm. Trying to convince and swing people around to thinking this way.

This is so transparent. And, all bullshit. You will never convince.

The spaths life is always tentative and hanging by a string…all apt to disappear in a flash. Keep telling yourself what you want to believe though. That is how spaths live. In complete delusion. (Example: Donald Trump, as you alluded to…he made it to the White House, yes, but that means nothing).

We all hope for number 10. Believe that.


So Agree! Great Comment x

Hope Springs

Cheers, Ria 🙂

Hope Springs

We hope for #10 for all spaths. The sooner they ‘leave’ the world, the less time they have to play their spath games, like that post above.


My thoughts Exactly Lol




That’s would be great!!!! I’m so confused why there’s not more education out there to warn people about these type of people. I never even said the word “sociopath” until one swooped my poor younger sister up and isolated her from our extremely close family 3 years ago this month……I miss her dearly!!


How very sad xx these Predators never give up seeking out good honest people. I highly recommend Melanie Tonia Evans website and on you tube to educate people she is amazing! She opened my eyes to so much of the abuse and tactics they use to reel us back in. I am still NC and happier for it. If your lovely sister finds the strength to break free Melanie Tonia Evans gives the bare facts on this awful Personality Disorder, the damage it causes and supports everyone experiencing the toxicity, mind games, craziness and the hoovering when NC is put in place. Keep strong. Sending you Love and Hugs xx


I would suggest Sandra Brown’s ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’. It is very informative of the disorder and the empathetic women they target. She also says there should be more education of the public.


That’s a great book. I’m reading it now.


@Orion Well said, and absolutely agree. Especially about the ‘falling apart’.


Strange now looking back. My ex had no friends. I just thought because he was 68 yrs old he was living a lonely existence. I should of looked much closer at this lonely existence. Own Home, Car, Retired, and No friends…Mmm one sister he was not close to, always bad mouthed her. Oh well Ladies the Truth is usually in front of us but we are So Empathic and friendly heartfelt souls we don’t See what could be so Wrong. I found Viagra hiding in his bedroom drawer underneath hats and gloves and Condoms when I was his house. We have an Intuition! Lets Use that Intuition More!

Hope Springs

Yes…and always no ‘real’ friends.

Very telling, that.


Very Bev there is always a reason behind that.

Hope Springs

Oh, yes, for sure.

People do not like them. Spaths really think that they have real’friends’. That is never the case. Those so called friends are just acquaintances that sometimes last a bit longer because they are willfully blind to the spath.


He must of been in a hurry to do the deed on one of his escapades as he ended up with Genital Herpes. A 68 yr old seriously!


I wish I had known 17-1/2 years ago that there was such a person as a sociopath. Oh, I had heard that word but always thought it pertained to only criminal types. I watch Dr. Phil daily and I don’t believe I’ve ever heard him use this word even when dealing with cheaters and other assorted liars on his show. I always wanted to believe the best in people and thought my “jerk radar” would catch on earlier as to what I was dealing with. But if I’m honest with myself, I really thought/believed that the guy I was involved with could never be that type of monster. But constant lies, inconsistencies, behavior contradicting his words, you name it, put me through hell. I blocked his number but the damn voicemail messages still come through, and since he’s “surprised”me at the front door in the past, I’m on edge this will occur again. But I’m determined to stick to my “guns” and avoid him no matter what. I only hope others will pay attention to their “little voice” to not get taken in by this kind of monster. He’s also nearly 68 so this crap happens at any age.


In the beginning they come across as a fake self confident, charming, even mirror us to reel us in to think they are normal like us. The truth is what we find much later on. Sadly for all of us we find the monster behind the mask when we did not expect it. They can only hold up the facade for so long until the mask drops. It’s a terrible shock when this happens. It leaves us wondering what the hell happened? We will never get closure. The hoovering happens when we shut the door finally on all the chaos and craziness. Going No Contact blocking his number etc is the only way to build a new life. Your so right their age doesn’t matter they are who they are. Immature, chaotic impulsive with no empathy and never accepts Responsibilty for their actions, projection, mind games, the list goes on…. Being Free is the only way out of the Craziness. Hugs to you xx


I would say that I have seen the crash and burn, or rather heard that it happened. I was engaged to a psychopath 11 years ago and when it ended, the discard phase was unbearable for me. My friend, a psychic, met this ex not knowing who he was, and had a flash that in ten years he would have spiraled so low in his life that he would not even be able to comprehend how he got there – no money, no family, no friends.
I was skeptical, as at the time my ex had millions, a lovely family, and decent friends (not many but educated persons around him).
10 years later I heard that he had a child with a drug addict mother who abandoned them, that he himself became a drug addict, lost his money, home, family stopped speaking with him, and the child he had was kept by the mother’s family.
He couldn’t keep up the lies and deceit so he definitely crashed! It’s a long time to wait, and I was out and over it way before it happened – and to be honest, I felt sorry for him. I wondered if it was Karma, or if it would have happened whether or not I was with him still…I’m glad I’m not with him of course, but as an empath I still feel sorry for someone else’s suffering.


Wow when you mentioned your psychic friend. My psychic friend asked to see me asap after meeting the ex and said “Maria your not being told the truth he is hiding something from you”. I always felt something wasn’t right but couldn’t put my finger on it. Little did I know he was leading a double life. It was a long distance relationship so I was non the wiser until he was hiding an STD from me on holiday! The game was up when he had to see a doctor in Malta ( he asked me to wait outside) and he prescribed him Aciclovir 800mg 5 times a day. He led me to believe it was back pain Ha! Until I discovered it for myself when I took the blanket off him and seen the sores! The Shock!! Back pain my foot! He was nothing more than a Liar and a Cheat! The distance kept him safe to do as he pleased. 119 miles distance from my home to his. Lesson learned.


And to add another story to the previous one – I fell victim again to a sociopath more recently. Met him as a dreamy charmer a few months ago and he quickly got me to get him a credit card on my account. His promises to pay never happened, and in fact he gave me a false bank account number to try and pay it – which had the card cancel the entire account due to the fraud (which luckily was in his name, but still, I lost a credit card account that I had held for 30 years).

This sociopath feeds money off his victim, using fake financial schemes that collect in the millions. Private jets, expensive hotels, designer clothes and jewelry – I lost around $100K to this man in just two short months, not realising until it was too late that he had no intention to ever pay me anything.

I threatened a lawsuit and he started to threaten the lawyer and myself directly.

So…will this sociopath crash and burn? Probably. He leads a risky life, works with law enforcement with false badges, pilot and such – the financial fraud alone will catch up and he’ll have to move again to find another location to source for income. Maybe it will be another 10 years, doesn’t really help with my situation right now, but I suppose to know he won’t make it very far does help.


That’s terrible! This monster left you in so much debt and having to recover your own financial worthiness to your bank. I can’t imagine how this must of felt for you. All your hard earned money gone through a con man! My heart goes out to you it really does. My story is nothing compared to yours I was able to walk away free from any further chaos. How you must be feeling right now is indescribable. To be left with so much financial loss must be awful. Love and Hugs to you xx


I had a narcissistic drug addict neighbor who was disturbing others and he was evicted. I have another narcissistic neighbor who is O.K. for awhile then becomes offensive again. I would like to see her evicted.


I briefly saw the psychopath I had No Contact with for 18 months. He works in the area. I felt repulsed as usual. Good to be free of him.


I like this blog.


I came here looking for some advice about my physically abusive and very likely sociopath ex gf. There’s a lot of horror stories on here. But one thing strikes me, and there doesn’t appear to be an iota of empathy or compassion for these people. And yes they are people. It’s probably not possible, but if there was a way I’d love for my ex to be able to get better, although I wouldn’t go within a mile of her after the things she’s done. Nobody would willingly choose to be like that. Well, Hitler maybe. It’s not her fault her wiring is all fucked up. Your particular sociopaths had a reason for being bastards, what’s your excuse for being shitty people?


I’m super confused by your misguided take on this, evilwayz. If you are using this site to educate and empower yourself regarding your entanglement with a sociopath, then it is bizarre (to me) that you are insulting those who have reached out and shared their experiences. Re-read the stories. Each and every person who has shared with you and countless others have endured extensive abuse and exploitation which is consistently underpinned and perpetuated by the victim’s love and empathy for the sociopath. The fact that we are not shitty people is their hook.


evilwayz People are targets for psychopaths because they have hyperempathy. Therapist Sandra Brown explains this in her book ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths- Inside the Relationship of Inevitable Harm’. People who are involved with psychopaths are advised to go No Contact.

Hope Springs

This post by this ‘evilwayz’ does not sound real nor plausible. At all.

This person is merely trolling and projecting.

This does not work here.

(Don’t dignify this crap with any more responses. That is what this person wants).


Bev, I agree with you 100%.


I like number 9.


I have to disagree with Orion,
(oops his comment was 3 months ago, sorry I’m new to blogging I should’ve replied directly to his comment)
But, how I feel also applies to evilwayz.

I was constantly experiencing number 6 with my N.
We had a successful business that was making more than we needed to run it, we could have set ourselves up for the rest of our lives, but there was never enough for him. He used it as his own personal bank account, spent each months income before it came in, borrowed to cover debts then blamed the business for not making enough. He’d come up with schemes behind my back to make more money and borrow that money from less than reputable people at rediculous interest rates to set those schemes up (7). In fact the twisted mess he created, and still does, also incorporates 8. Just because he’s never been caught means nothing, he’s still a criminal (8). He’s had to start again so many times, establishing new dupes to strip of their money (me being one, and I’d been with him for 17 years, and that was 17 years too long! I only just finally broke free of the addiction, fear and manipulation). I’m currently taking him to court. I have walked away discarded & devastated so many times, having to start from scratch, finding a job & somewhere to live, only to be hoovered back. This time I refuse to walk away. I’m the only one in his entire life that’s fought back. I may end up with nothing, I accept that. He’s arrogance has left too many trails, he can’t escape the inevitable, & when we go to trial the minimum result for him will be that he ends up stripped of all his precious possessions, along with being banned from ever running a business again, or his worst nightmare will come true, he’ll end up in jail. Either way, this time it will be his life that falls apart (9).

I wanted to add this & thought I shouldn’t. I changed my mind, it’s what my guts telling me.

What I’ve experienced won’t matter to you Orion, I know that, you are obvious. It’s obvious that you aren’t here to share, care or heal.

It’s obvious what you are.


I like ‘Sociopaths crash and burn’.


mine died of a heroine overdose, pretty sure he’s burning in hell now


They cannot love.


I still like they crash and burn.


angelofdarkness Jerry Sandusky’s schemes definitely did fall apart when he was convicted.


@Sunnygal Don’t know who that is. American celebrity?


Angel, if you’re not familiar with the Penn State child sex abuse scandal, Wikipedia has a whole article on this malefactor. Just click it:

Jerry Sandusky

In a nutshell, it says:

Gerald Arthur “Jerry” Sandusky (born January 26, 1944) is an American convicted serial rapist, child molester, and retired college football coach.

Boy, how’s that for an anticlimax at the end of that sentence!


Sandra Brown says some psychopaths are financially successful and then there is the evil twin the parasite.


Many are arrested for crimes.


This is true.


They are empty inside.


Number 3 is good.


they are empty inside for sure.


Donna- there is spam on the forums with people selling services and no way to report it.

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