How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for 2008

Kidnapping case exposes need for society to learn about psychopaths

//  by //  52 Comments

Reigh Storrow Mills Boss, the 7-year-old girl allegedly kidnapped by her father, Clark Rockefeller, has been safely reunited with her mother, Sandra Boss. Last Thursday, I received a phone call from an ABC News reporter who wanted information about women who marry con men. At that point, I knew nothing about the case. The girl's mother had just released a video appeal to the father of the child, pleading for her safe return. But I did know about marrying a con man. After speaking to the reporter for about 30 minutes, I put her in touch with Dr. Liane Leedom and two Lovefraud readers who were willing to be interviewed. Here's the story: How do smart women get taken by con men? The …

Kidnapping case exposes need for society to learn about psychopathsRead More

Con man kidnaps daughter from supervised visitation

//  by //  30 Comments

It is already Friday and the daughter of Sandra L. Boss has been missing since Sunday when she was abducted from supervised visitation by her father a con artist. On behalf of other victims of love fraud, I want to tell Sandra that we are praying for her and her daughter. We also understand how an intelligent, loving, successful person can be duped. Sandra L. Boss asks for return of daughter Last night Sandra appeared before the cameras to ask that her former husband return the child, age 7. To see the video visit ABC News. She gave the following message: "Clark, although many things have changed, you will always be Reigh's father and I will always be Reigh's mother,We both love her …

Con man kidnaps daughter from supervised visitationRead More

Welcome Steve Becker, LCSW, as a regular Lovefraud author

//  by //  23 Comments

Since January, Steve Becker, a licensed clinical social worker and certified hypnotherapist, has been submitting guest columns to Lovefraud. His articles have been insightful looks at pathological personalities. I'm sure you remember them: Differentiating narcissists and psychopaths Psychopaths' cat and mouse game (my personal favorite) The borderline personality as transient sociopath Heeding the exploiter's earliest warnings It's not weakness, but lack of clarity, that exposes us to an exploiter Getting inside the head of the abusive mentality Steve has a private therapy practice based in Westfield, New Jersey, USA. He works with adults, couples, adolescents and …

Welcome Steve Becker, LCSW, as a regular Lovefraud authorRead More

After the sociopath, hard-learned truths

//  by //  382 Comments

Before I became entangled with the sociopath, I was an avid consumer of self-help books and programs. Although I was successful in my career, I could not get the relationship thing to work. This, of course, was the vulnerability exploited by the sociopath I married, but I get ahead of myself. In my quest for answers—Why was I alone? Why couldn't I find love?—I once participated in a weekend seminar called "Understanding Yourself and Others." After some initial skepticism, I found the program to be helpful. One of the things I remember from the weekend is a pithy little motto: "The truth will set you free—but first it will piss you off." In reference to sociopaths, truer words were never sp …

After the sociopath, hard-learned truthsRead More

Medication used to treat sociopathy/psychopathy

//  by //  173 Comments

It turns out that Sandy Brown, M.A. is quite correct in stating that any talk of treatment of sociopathy makes people (particularly women) reluctant to give up on a dangerous relationship. We received a note this week from a woman asking for more info about treatment and wanting to know if there was any hope for her man. He was the only man she had ever loved and she was actually still grappling with the meaning of his diagnosis. This week, I will discuss medications that can be used to treat sociopathy. But before I do I want to make it clear that I encourage people to break away from sociopaths. Remember that the sociopath's doctor and therapist will want you to stay with the sociopath …

Medication used to treat sociopathy/psychopathyRead More

Guidelines for posting comments on the Lovefraud Blog

//  by //  132 Comments

In the three years since Lovefraud launched, it's grown from a website to a community. I am always amazed and appreciative that so many people are contributing. New readers arrive distraught and asking for help; other readers respond with caring and heartfelt support. People start to recover. It is beautiful to watch. Thank you all. As we post, there is an important fact that we must all keep in mind. Here it is: Linguists estimate that 65 percent to 90 percent of the meaning in human communication is transmitted via nonverbal cues—tone of voice, facial expression, body language. None of these cues, of course, are available over a computer. That means when we post written comments on the L …

Guidelines for posting comments on the Lovefraud BlogRead More

Sociopaths pretending to be religious

//  by //  152 Comments

Sociopaths like to cloak themselves in a mantel of respect. They seek careers, or pretend to have careers, in fields that people associate with good character, trustworthiness, and authority, such as law enforcement, the military and the clergy. Pursuing a career in religion or spirituality is particularly useful for sociopaths. People tend to trust religious figures simply because they are religious figures, which puts a sociopath several moves ahead when trying to scam someone. A sociopath claiming an inside track to God has a very powerful tool when it comes to manipulating people. Plus, for a sociopath, a career in the clergy is easy—the primarily visible job requirement is an a …

Sociopaths pretending to be religiousRead More

Book review: Antisocial Personality Disorder A Practitioner’s Guide to Comparative Treatments

//  by //  60 Comments

I had a nice conversation with a friend today. She said that part of healing from a relationship with a sociopath is getting to the point where one realizes that sociopaths deserve pity for being disordered. In that regard, we both hope that science will progress to the point where sociopathy is preventable and fully treatable. In this blog I will discuss treatment options for those diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Following the format of the book I am reviewing, this disorder is called sociopathy or ASPD and the personality traits that give rise to the disorder are called “psychopathic personality traits.” Regarding whether sociopathy and psychopathic personality traits are …

Book review: Antisocial Personality Disorder A Practitioner’s Guide to Comparative TreatmentsRead More

Getting inside the head of the abusive mentality

//  by 

By Steve Becker, LCSW, CH.T Editor's note: The author has a private psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and clinical consulting practice in New Jersey, USA. For more information, visit his website, powercommunicating.com. Let's get inside the head of the abusive mentality. But first let's define abuse. Abuse in a relationship reflects a pattern(s) of behavior that is manifestly (or passive-aggressively) bullying, demeaning, manipulative, intimidating, threatening, coercive, and/or restrictively controlling. The key word is pattern. Most non-abusive individuals perpetrate insensitivities from time to time that may be experienced as abusive. This may make the behavior abusive. But it is the …

Getting inside the head of the abusive mentalityRead More

8 steps to recovery from the betrayal of a sociopath

//  by 

Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader; we'll call her Lisa. In one short paragraph, Lisa conveyed the betrayal, rage, pain and hopelessness that we've all felt: If a stranger broke into my house and stole all my valuables and then burned the rest. If I was left homeless and broke. I would be angry. I would be damaged. But I would recover. The person who did this slept in my bed and held me tight and told me he loved me every day. He told me that we were moving overseas and that everything should go. Stop paying the mortgage. Sell your furniture for cheap. Burn the rest. I did it. He disappeared with my jewelry and cash. I feel that I cannot recover. I am devastated. I am …

8 steps to recovery from the betrayal of a sociopathRead More