By Ox Drover Many times on Lovefraud, bloggers have joked with me that a particular phrase or behavior “came out of the ”˜Psychopath's play book,'“ the kind of book in which a football team would write all their usual plays. I recently bought a book entitled, The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, because it sounded like an interesting book. But the more I got into it, I realized that the heretofore-thought-mythical “Psychopathic Play book” does exist, and this is it! Robert Greene, by the way, also wrote The Art of Seduction. Here's what the jacket blurb on the back of The 48 Laws of Power says about its content: The best-selling book for those who want POWER, watch P …
Private behavior and the public good
The connection between love and politics—that was the topic of commentary in yesterday's paper written by Gregory Rodriguez, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times. The article, Love and politics in a cynical age, got me thinking about the consistency of behavior. Rodriguez summarized how Americans have come to view the private lives and public lives of the people we elect to represent us. He wrote: The truth is that we don't generally associate politics or politicians with happy marriages and deep romance, let alone fidelity. The constant revelation of scandals and peccadilloes in the halls of power have trained us to expect the worst of those—particularly the men—we elect to shepherd and …
Genetic mutation plus alcohol leads to violence
A study of criminal offenders in Finland found a certain genetic mutation and alcohol consumption was associated with impulsive violence. Read Genetic mutation may lead to violent and reckless behavior on ABCNews.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Background checks for online daters
When looking for love, 20 million Americans look on Internet dating sites. Now, companies offer quick and easy background checks, although some experts worry about their effectiveness. Read New online-date detectives can unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong, on NYTimes.com. …
Dipping a toe in the dating pool
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who writes as “Glinda” sent the following letter. I'll provide my thoughts at the end of her letter. “NEVER Dating Again” Punishment or Prudence? I have most of my life back in order, post sociopath. Work is good; I have friends; I have hobbies; and my kids are well cared for and seem to be well-adjusted to our family routine. I also don't worry and think about getting asked out much. I'm pretty sure I put a “nuh uh” sign out, in neon. I haven't had any interest in dating—in fact, I've sworn off relationships in general. I'm not lonely. I've filled my life and don't feel empty or sad. I have a terrible track record in picking men”¦and a worse record …
Why the Michael Vick story is important
The sportswriters have run out of adjectives. They can't find superlatives big enough to describe yesterday's incredible, improbable, amazing victory of the Philadelphia Eagles football team over their archrivals, the New York Giants. The Eagles were losing 31-10 with only 8:09 left in the game. They scored 28 points—four touchdowns—to win. The Eagles were powered, almost single-handedly, by quarterback Michael Vick. This is the same Michael Vick who, in 2007, was convicted running a dog-fighting ring and served 18 months in prison. I've been writing about Michael Vick since the Eagles hired him for the team in August 2009, a move that outraged thousands of fans, myself included. After …
Denial is a protective device
By Ox Drover Someone was talking about how she should have seen what her ex-significant other was up to with all of his sweet words. He was in prison, and telling her how he had changed and found the light and how wonderful things would be when he got out. She knew what he had done to get in there, the bad acts he had committed, but she chose to believe his “sincere remorse.” Now she wanted to know why she had been so stupid. She wasn't “stupid—”she was using denial to protect herself from something so painful the thought of it “scared her to death.” Years ago, when I was married the first time, my husband and I were friends with a couple. I felt close friendship with both the man an …
Looking For Rage In All The Wrong Places
When individuals are jealous-fueled, what is happening? One thing that's happening is that they are often looking for rage, looking to rage, in all the wrong places. So this is important to establish up-front: The jealous-laden individual is using his jealousy as a basis to unleash his stewing rage. He is using jealousy as a means to feel rage; to feel outrage; to feel, somehow, self-righteously betrayed; and finally, to justify (through his jealousy) his pursuit of these feelings. Thus, he is looking, contriving, convincing himself that the basis of his fury is legitimately, suspiciously, here”¦or there!!”¦or there!!”¦or here!!”¦or over there!! Regardless, he will find the basis for …
How American child rearing practices lead to ADHD and bullying
More and more children are being diagnosed with disorders such as ADHD and autism. Dr. Gabor Maté of Canada says that the root cause is that the nurturing environment necessary for proper child development has collapsed in America, leading to children who are emotionally detached and have difficulty controlling their impulses. This 60-minute interview is fascinating—be sure to watch it all. Or, to save time, just scroll down below the video options to read the transcript. (Thanks to Skylar for the suggestion.) Dr. Gabor Maté on ADHD, bullying and the destruction of American childhood, on DemocracyNow.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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A guy who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer
Woman meets guy online. Woman decides guy is not for her. Guy doesn't want to hear it. Guy wants wants to meet her RIGHT NOW to hug her neck. Woman doesn't respond. Guy promises the greatest love ever. Woman tells guy to STOP. Guy ramps up the attention. Read the entire audacious interaction, complete with the guy saying it was all a joke, at womenexplode.com. …