How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Freedom to lie: Stolen Valor Act ruled unconstitutional

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The Stolen Valor Act of 2005 makes it illegal for anyone to claim military decorations that he or she did not earn. It's a straightforward law that states: Whoever falsely represents himself or herself, verbally or in writing, to have been awarded any decoration or medal authorized by Congress for the Armed Forces of the United States, any of the service medals or badges awarded to the members of such forces, the ribbon, button, or rosette of any such badge, decoration, or medal, or any colorable imitation of such item shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than six months, or both. On August 17, 2010, the law was found to be unconstitutional by the United States Court of …

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Experienced clinician says psychopathy is a spectrum

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This week we are continuing to discuss The Psychopathic Mind by J. Reid Meloy, Ph.D. The author is diplomate in forensic psychology, former Chief of the Forensic Mental Health Division for San Diego County and Past President of the American Academy of Forensic Psychology. As I said last week, my initial reaction to the book was rather negative because I believe this author has made some assertions that have become the basis for inaccurate folklore that has spread over the internet (to be discussed in the coming weeks). But Dr. Meloy made up for all that by setting the record straight on a very important issue—the spectrum of psychopathy. The idea that psychopathy is a spectrum and that " …

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Donna Andersen interview on Marieclaire.com

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The public relations folks for the Investigation Discovery TV show, Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, arranged for me to be interviewed by a blogger at Marieclaire.com. She asked me how people get deceived by con artists, which gave me an opportunity to talk about sociopaths. Read Are you dating a cheater?, at Marieclaire.com. …

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When He’s Just A Bad Dude

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It's easy to get obsessed with, fixated on, “labels” and diagnostic categories like sociopath, psychopath, malignant narcissist, narcissist, etc. To be sure, labels and diagnoses can be important and informative. In the case of “sociopathic” individuals, for instance, we know that there's no changing them; we know that there's no real hope for their redemption; and so, if you've correctly identified a sociopathic type, you can know that it's pointless, self-destructive to invest another minute of your time in him. And this is a good thing to know. But it's also the case, I'd suggest, that an overfocus on labels and diagnoses can sometimes be a distraction, a form of avoidance, sometim …

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The “productive sociopath”

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Yesterday, Dr. Liane Leedom wrote that “false beliefs about sociopaths are very dangerous.” She quoted a judge who said: “Well I tell you, the world is full of productive sociopaths. Some of them hold high public office. Some of them are lawyers. It could be that a couple of them are judges, and sociopathy by itself is not necessarily a dangerous condition. It can be productive. I think it was Clarence Darrow who commented on that”¦”   Today I'd like to present a case to prove her point. Over the last 10 days, the Philadelphia Inquirer has been reporting about Carl Greene, the executive director of the Philadelphia Housing Authority (PHA). The agency Green heads is the c …

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False beliefs about sociopaths are very dangerous

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Donna Andersen has been a great friend to me and has done so much for victims of sociopaths. She deserves an award. The latest thing she did for me personally was to lend me her copy of The Psychopathic Mind by J. Reid Meloy. When I initially thought about reading the book it was more expensive than it is now; the price has come down quite a bit. That is good because I am going to have to buy Donna a new copy since I've marked up the entire book with notes about material to discuss here. My overall reaction to the book was negative to lukewarm until I got to page 318 (that I'll discuss next week). After that page, I came to believe that on the whole this book is a great contribution to the …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: Teenager shares wisdom about life’s hidden truth

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Editor's note: Almost a year ago, Lovefraud received a letter from Mandy, a 15-year-old who told her distressing story about a “relationship” with a sociopathic guy. Read it here: I didn't want to be alone and believed that he loved me.   Well, it's a year later, and Mandy has written to Lovefraud again. She's grown. She's matured. Her letter contains so much wisdom that I'm astounded it came from a 16-year-old. I invite you to read—and learn. Life is hard; I think everyone can agree on that. It's true when people say life is like a roller coaster. People have their ups and downs, twists and turns and every day is a new adventure. It's important to slow down in life and to n …

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Bureaucrats say victim is too upset for counseling

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A woman in England is brutally raped. She is diagnosed with PTSD. When she goes for counseling, she cries. And amazingly, because she cried, she is denied further counseling. Read Rape victim is denied NHS counseling after officials rule 'it might make her upset' in DailyMail.co.uk. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Representing children in custody and visitation proceedings: Do children’s lawyers really protect them?

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Many people who write us have children who have their own attorneys because in difficult cases the court assigns and pays for them. We have heard many stories now and sadly it seems unusual that parents say these attorneys have helped protect their children. It's nice to know that the legal profession is also concerned that children receive ethical and competent representation. There is actually an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) that developed in 1995 Standards for Attorneys and Guardians ad Litem in Custody or Visitation Proceedings. These standards have recently been revised and there is considerable debate about just what the role of children's attorneys should …

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