How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Gasoline and Fire Psychopathic Relationships and Last Minute Redemption

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By Ox Drover Most of us know that when you combine gasoline and fire there is not only a larger fire, but an explosive one. Our here in the boondocks we have occasion to burn brush piles or even trash sometimes and anyone except some pure idiot knows you never use gasoline as an accelerant for burning anything, you use diesel. Diesel fuel is more akin to what they call fuel oil up north and they fuel their household heaters with it.  It ignites slowly without a lot of vapor and burns steadily, not causing an explosion. Gasoline on the other hand, starts to vaporize as soon as it is poured out and when you strike a match to it, that vapor cloud explodes into a huge fireball, engulfing …

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I wasn’t that stupid

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following link from Wikipedia: Psychological manipulation The author of the article on psychological manipulation based most of its information on three books: Who's Pulling Your Strings?, by Harriet B. Braiker; In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, by George K. Simon; and The Psychopathology of Everyday Life, by Martin Kantor. The first two sections of the article are excellent. First, the author discusses the requirements of successful manipulation: According to Simon, successful …

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If only the media added educational to the sensational

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A Lovefraud reader frequently sends me links to stories in the Daily Mail, a tabloid based in the United Kingdom. Here are some recent articles: Newlywed ”˜murdered his wife of just five months after she discovered his affairs on Facebook' (September 3, 2010) Bigamist who claimed to be decorated Falklands hero to woo fifth wife then fleeced her of £50,000 (September 6, 2010) Cheating husband bludgeoned wife to death before going Christmas shopping with mistress (September 9, 2010) Internet Romeo conned dozens of women out of £500,000 pretending to be terminally ill (September 15, 2010) Here at Lovefraud, we can recognize that the bad actors in all of these cases are likely soci …

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Somewhere Inbetween Time: Between Past-Perfect and Future-Perfect

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By the Front Porch Talker Somewhere along the time-space continuum we have space-time. Space is three-dimensional and time is in the fourth-dimension, with different spatial dimensions. According to perceptions, the universe has three dimensions of space and one of time. By combining space and time, we have the freedom to describe life more accurately—from the quantum level to the super galactical levels; thus, expanding our entire perceptions of time and space, and life ultimately. Everything is relative, of course, even our own experiences and perceptions of life. Depending upon where we are observing an event, how close and how distant, and depending on the gravitational forces, we s …

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Different Perspectives of Sociopaths

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There can be different perspectives of the sociopath (and other seriously exploitive personalities). These perspectives can offer different experiences of these disturbed individuals. At the same time each perspective offers,  I suggest by definition, both a somewhat advantageous and yet limited view of the sociopath. Living with a sociopath, or finding oneself involved deeply in a “committed”  relationship with a sociopath, will offer an incomparably intimate experience of the horrors that sociopaths can inflict on their partners. Clearly no one, and that includes the so-called “experts” on sociopathy (clinicians and researchers, for instance) will be able to appreciate the impact of t …

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Priest impregnates teenager

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In 2008, the chaplain of a Roman Catholic high school in Reading, Pa., befriended a female student. Well, the relationship was much more than friendship, and the girl's parents have filed a lawsuit against him and the Diocese of Allentown, claiming that the priest impregnated their daughter. Read Suit says priest impregnated teenager, on Philly.com. The teenager had a baby, and apparently is now living with the priest, who has been relieved of his duties. Read Teen found at apartment of priest her parents sued on ReadingEagle.com. …

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How can you know when you’ve encountered a sociopath?

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"The motivation (for lying) is particularly baffling in endogenous deceit when the psychopath may appear to have everything he wants yet continues quite predictably to commence the manipulative cycle." So says Dr. Reid Meloy in The Psychopathic Mind, p121. "I don't think they even eat an ice cream cone just for pleasure, I think they do everything for the effect it has, or the image it presents. It isn't about what is REAL it is about what they can appear to be. To them, I think, if they can get others to believe it, then it becomes "reality" as far as they are concerned." So says Ox Drover in a comment on this blog. There is complete agreement about one thing regarding sociopaths, …

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Letters Home: Letter to a Sociopath

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Editor's Note: Here's another essay by the Front Porch Talker. For background about her experience, read her initial post, called “My life with a sociopath.” By The Front Porch Talker From “Letters Home,” my series of unsent letters to fictional people about fictional topics—for real. Dear DOC #...., Well, I bet you never thought that I would find you, but here we are sitting across an imaginary bolted-down table in the visiting room of your new home. Do they still call it prison, or do you prefer the term penitentiary? I like the sound of Correctional Institution. It has an optimistic tone to it: a college for “change” or “correction,” as though either option were ever possible w …

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All I wanted was a date

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Back in the summer of 1996, when I logged onto the America Online Love section, I had no idea that it would be the beginning of a journey that would change my life. I was single, had never been married and was about to turn 40—yes, I heard that biological clock ticking very loudly. I ran my own copywriting business and finally, after 13 years of struggle, I was making good money.  Maybe, I hoped, it was finally time for me. When I logged on to AOL and looked at the personal ads, all I wanted was a date. Enter the sociopath What I found was James Montgomery, who turned out to be a con artist—a sociopath. Like many Lovefraud readers, when this man crossed my path, I had no idea what a soci …

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