In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner's wife, who I'm sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce. The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn't apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized. In short, this story offers advice for women co …
Psycho Squirrel
As I was trying to come up with an idea for this week's blog post, my husband, Terry, made a suggestion: “Why don't you write about Psycho Squirrel?” Last fall, we started tossing peanuts in the shells to squirrels in our backyard. We were captivated by the show they put on as they acrobatically chased each other along the fence and through the tree branches. Plus, we liked being nice to our furry neighbors. Most of the squirrels picked up the peanuts and scurried away, burying them to eat in the winter. A couple of squirrels, however, were smart. They learned that humans meant food, and every time they saw us, bounded over to the ground below our back deck. They'd sit on their hind leg …
Book Review: Evil Genes
Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Dr. Barbara Oakley is the author of Evil Genes—Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend. Oakley's resume reads like something out of a spy novel: She worked as a translator on Russian fishing trawlers during the Cold War, went from a private to an officer in the military, met her husband while working as a radio operator at the South Pole, and is now a professor of bio-engineering. About this book, Gavin DeBecker writes, “Whatever you might believe about the role of genetics versus environment, Evil Genes will take you somewhere you haven't been. Barbara Oakley brilliantly reveals the falseness of one …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Everything about the sociopath invites us in
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Gary Cundiff is a marriage and family therapist based in San Diego, California Through deception and mirroring, the sociopath exerts control By Gary Cundiff, MFT Gary Cundiff profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Having fallen victim to the very thing I had dedicated my life to protecting others from is my reason for writing. To warn others and feasibly aid some. The inevitable harm from interacting with a sociopath is definitive. For some, years have been spent recovering. I am a mental health professional with years of …
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The Bachelorette and the sociopath
Last week, Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader: Not sure if you ever pick up on things that go on in the television arena, but Hollywood hit a new low this week with the third installment of The Bachelorette. The producers are supposed to pick fabulous, eligible bachelors, not sociopaths who set out to do psychological harm. As soon as it became evident that Bentley was without a conscience, purposely setting out to hurt Ashley Hebert, lure her in with false words while telling the cameras (behind her back) that she was ugly, not his type, blah, blah, blah, the producers had an obligation to tell Ashley the truth. But they chose to let Bentley ambush her and break her …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I got out before any damage could be done
Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Lorna.” I thought I'd write and tell you a success story, thanks to all the information you provide to help people to survive a sociopath. I've met them at various times in my life, however, I was lucky that I never married or got pregnant or lived with one. A couple of years ago, one crossed my path, and in a short time caused a lot of disruption before I dumped him. I pretty much forgot all about the narcissistic sociopath since then. I wanted to watch the Will and Kate wedding live, but didn't have TV, and on the West Coast it would be shown at 3 a.m. I posted on the activities partners section of Craigslist hop …
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Sociopaths and sex
Aren't you getting sick of hearing about all these politicians and other powerful people who can't control themselves? Are you wondering if they are all just sociopaths? Are all sex addicts also sociopaths? In the wake of my own dismay at the sheer number of sex crazed politicians, I wanted to share some thoughts with you. First of all, one of the psychopathy researchers I respect the most is Dr. Grant Harris. He has written a seminal paper COERCIVE AND PRECOCIOUS SEXUALITY AS A FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF PSYCHOPATHY He says that promiscuous, coercive and precocious sex is central to the psychopathy syndrome. However, if you look at the statistics on the PCL-R the most studied method of …
Psychopath and narcissist love quizzes
Dr. Dorothy McCoy, a licensed professional counselor and psychotherapist, has developed online quizzes to help you figure out if you are dating a psychopath or narcissist. The behaviors identified by the quizzes will certainly look familiar to Lovefraud readers. Psychopath Quiz Narcissist Quiz …
More on powerful men behaving badly
John Edwards has joined the parade. The former North Carolina senator and presidential candidate was indicted last week for using campaign contributions to keep his mistress and their baby in hiding during his 2008 run for the White House. He follows former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who admitted fathering a child with a member of his household staff, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who had to resign as head of the International Monetary Fund after he allegedly tried to rape a hotel maid in New York City. A lot of people are asking, why do they do it? Why are these rich, powerful men willing to chance ruining everything they have achieved for momentary pleasure? Psychology …
Powerful men and sexual impropriety
Time magazine writes about Dominique Strauss-Kahn, accused of assaulting a hotel maid in New York City, Arnold Schwarzenegger's child with an employee, and how society views powerful men taking advantage of women. Read Sex, lies, arrogance: What makes powerful men behave so badly? on Time.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
