How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Court case about exposing an alleged liar and cheater on the Internet

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It's a juicy media story, featuring a former prosecutor turned football executive, a roller derby queen, a jilted fiancé and a fire-breathing feminist attorney. But beneath it all is a lawsuit filed in Manhattan federal court that may have serious implications for many Lovefraud readers. Cast of characters: Matthew C. Couloute: Attorney, former prosecutor, affiliated with the NFL, former VP and counsel of the United Football League. Stacey Blitsch: Roller derby queen for the Bay City Bombers. She had a relationship with Couloute, and they have a son together. Amanda Ryncarz: Another woman who had a relationship with Couloute—she thought she was his fiancé. Gloria Allred: Cele …

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Research finds brain changes due to PTSD

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New research has found a specific change in brain chemistry due to trauma. An article on Medscape.com says: "Lower serotonin 1B levels were also strongly associated with age at first trauma. The earlier the trauma exposure, the greater the brain alterations and the greater the severity of PTSD symptoms, and the greater the risk of developing comorbidities," senior author Alexander Neumeister, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, told Medscape Medical News. "These findings establish that trauma at a young age causes long-lasting neurobiological and psychological effects in survivors with PTSD. In other words, early-life trauma can …

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Injuries from psychopaths are like burns

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I was thinking about 9/11 and the horrible burns experienced by some of the victims who did recover. Being a registered nurse practitioner with a wide variety of clinical experience, the burn units had always been the one place I did not want to work. The terrible pain experienced by the victims of burns always tore at my heart, and even my professional distancing from the pain of my patients could not keep me from “feeling” their pain. On the day the U.S. mourned the fall of the Twin Towers, I started thinking about the analogies of those 9/11 attacks and how they are so much like the attacks on our lives by the psychopaths, and the injuries we suf …

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Standing Up To The Bully

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This week's post was inspired by a heartfelt email I received from a Lovefraud reader who has just successfully achieved the final step in her resolute struggle to break free: “Two years of tears and agony, stress and anxiety. Nevermore!” As we all know, it takes a huge amount of guts and gritty determination first of all to escape and then to heal — and as I sat reading her words I whooped for joy and punched the air. YES!!! Because it means that one more person is free. One more person has shattered the chains that used to bind. One more person has broken out of the shackles of manipulation and madness — and I am pleased. In fact I am delighted. Every time I hear stories — or recei …

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After the sociopath, advice for heartbreak

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I subscribe to a service through which reporters who are looking for information for their stories can find sources. Not long ago, a reporter posted the following query: A reporter at a national publication is writing about the hell of heartbreak and is looking for people to interview who have experienced a romantic breakup or divorce and who have creative/unusual advice on how to get through the day-to-day emotional turmoil of it. If you've been through a breakup (as an adult), how did you deal with the emotional pain, especially in the very beginning? How did you distract yourself from your heartache? How did you keep yourself from calling or texting your former beloved? What advice would …

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When the towers fell, I already knew the feeling

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Before sunrise on September 11, 2001, my rowing partner, Mary, and I, were already on the water for our morning workout. As darkness imperceptibly gave way to light, the bay was calm, the air was clear—an absolutely beautiful day dawned. We glided past herons and egrets, enjoying the quiet peace of Nature. A couple of hours later, I was driving to a 10 a.m. meeting when I heard something on the car radio about a small plane crashing into the World Trade Center in New York City. By the time I reached my client's office, all of her co-workers were standing around a radio. Both towers of the World Trade Center were hit, and the announcers were talking about a terrorist attack. “What do you …

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Don’t think ‘choices’ and ‘mistakes’ are the same thing

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) How we define words and concepts helps us to see human behavior in a realistic way. When people make bad choices, and do bad things, things they know are wrong, they ARE still CHOICES, not accidents or mistakes, even though the consequences were unforeseen when they are caught and punished. I've frequently heard people refer to what I consider to be deliberate and knowing “choices” as “mistakes.” In the sentence, “he made a mistake and robbed a liquor store,” my inclination is to scream, “NO, he did NOT make a ”˜mistake,' he made a deliberate choice to rob a liquor store.” The mistake was he didn't figure he would get caught, and he was wrong. He got ca …

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‘Bad mothering’ lawsuit dismissed

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An Illinois appeals court recently dismissed a lawsuit filed by the two adult children of Steven A. Milner and Kimberly Garrity, who divorced in 1995. Both children, Steven II and Kathryn, lived with their father, an attorney, in a $1.5 million house. They alleged that their mother caused emotional distress by sending dumb birthday cards or failing to send care packages when they were in college. In reporting the story the Chicago Tribune portrayed Steven II and Kathryn—represented by their father and two other attorneys—as spoiled brats. Read: 'Bad mothering' lawsuit dismissed on ChicagoTribune.com. I was all set to think that the case was a frivolous lawsuit driven by Steven Min …

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Lessons From The Men I’ve Loved

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Thank you very much for all the comments and emails I have received since my last post. I am so glad that I'm able to make a difference, and I'm deeply honoured to be part of this amazing site. This week's writing has been prompted by something in my personal life — I hope you like it. Happy Birthday It's just turned midnight on my son's sixteenth birthday as I sit down to write this week's article. I am so very proud of him, and am constantly amazed at the depth of wisdom, strength and kindness in such a young man. When I look back at the day just two and a half years earlier when I had to sit him down and tell him the truth about the man who had been his step father since just before …

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