One of Lovefraud's readers is Joshua Noel Tanner, a young man who is a singer-songwriter. He has personal experience with sociopaths, and has written a song called Old Father Incubus based on his experiences. I found the song to be creative, haunting and accurate. Caution: It includes narration that some readers may find to be triggering. You can buy the song, and listen to the rest of Joshua's album, on his band website. Joshua Noel Tanner band Or, you can listen to it on YouTube. …
Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates
Funny, don't you think, how every now and again life seems to work in perfect synchronicity? For the past couple of weeks I've written about my experiences of thoughts creating reality — and I've loved reading all your follow-up comments, thank you. It seems this has been/remains a weighty subject for many of us here! I had been wondering how to continue the exploration — and as if by magic, the solution appeared all by itself. Here's what happened”¦ Last Friday was probably the most important day in my son's life so far. It was the day he was due to interview for a place at his chosen university in Bordeaux, about two hours drive from where we live. His meeting was booked for 8am, so in …
Do not marry a murderer
William Balfour, 31, of Chicago, was found guilty last week of murdering Darnell Donerson, Jason Hudson and Julian King. They were the mother, brother and nephew of singer and actress Jennifer Hudson. In my opinion, this case was a tragedy, but a preventable tragedy. Julia Hudson, Jennifer's older sister, brought Balfour into the family when she married him. If she hadn't married this man, it obviously wouldn't have happened. Jennifer Hudson was the first witness in the murder trial. She testified that the entire family was against Julia's relationship with Balfour. "None of us wanted her to marry him. We did not like how he treated her," she stated in court. Julia secretly married …
New York Times article on child psychopaths
Today's New York Times Magazine has an excellent article on the signs of psychopathy in children. It presents a heartbreaking story of parents trying to cope with a "callous-unemotional" 9-year-old, and covers much of the current research on the disorder in children. Very well done. Read Can a 9-year-old be a psychopath? on NYTimes.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Red Flags of Love Fraud: Not just another book on sociopaths
By Sarah Strudwick Editor's note: Sarah Strudwick is author of "Dark Souls," and has created numerous cartoons describing the behavior of sociopaths. When I first got a copy of Donna Andersen's Red Flags of Love Fraud, my immediate reaction was, “Oh yet another book on sociopaths.” Having been a victim myself, and a fellow author who has read almost every book on the subject, I was half expecting to find a book that was regurgitating old ideas with nothing new to say. Well how wrong I was, because this is not one of those books. Apart from one other book I have read recently on Character Disturbance, this has to be the best book I have read so far on sociopaths. Donna Andersen …
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Taking care of our own needs first
By Joyce Alexander, RNP, (retired) There have been some discussions on Lovefraud lately about people not taking care of themselves, “until X happens, then I'm going to go to the doctor.” This got me to thinking about how important it is for us to put ourselves first. The very person who has always “put others first” (me) because that is what a “good person does” would feel very guilty if I spent money on myself, even for things I needed. I would send money to my son Patrick in prison for commissary money when I had to do without things I needed or wanted, because I felt guilty if I didn't send him money. Eating to feed his children You may have heard me tell this story before and I'm …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call Hilary. Names are changed. The night before I met Nick, I had a vivid nightmare. I lost sight of a caring man in a chaotic crowd, a baby was murdered, and I was poisoned. I awoke and heard, "Wait for the right one. Don't try to save him. You'll ruin yourself and your future." The thought was so pervasive that, although I was perplexed, I wrote it down. The following afternoon, I met Nick (with whom I'd connected on a dating site) on his boat at the local marina, and an afternoon sail turned into an “accidental” dinner with his parents and sister, drinks afterward, and hours of conversation late into the …
Will you participate in research about psychopaths in the workplace?
Do you suspect that someone you work with is a psychopath? Do they act superficially charming, lack remorse, lie to you, cheat, or attempt to manipulate you? Read more to find out about our study. Dear Members of the Lovefraud Blog, My name is Janelle and I am a Master's student at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada. I'm currently working on my Master's thesis in Forensic Psychology under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth. The topic of my research is psychopathy in the workplace and the effects this has on victims. Psychopathy in the workplace is a relatively new area of study in psychology. Most of the research to date focuses on the psychopathic individuals while neglecting to …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Listen to your inner voice
Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader. When I met my husband, 14 years ago, I owned my own home, had two children, a great job and life was great. I wasn't looking for a relationship, however, he would not take no for an answer until I went out with him (1st red flag). He presented himself as financially secure, a family man with a daughter, and who told me family is everything . He was very charming and giving to my children and I. After 5 months of dating, he started telling me how much he loved me and wanted to marry me. I said that I wasn't ready to jump into marriage again after being married for 12 years. However, he never let up. He kept …
Study: Psychopaths have less grey matter for understanding emotions
Researchers based at the King's College of London Institute of Psychiatry used MRIs to scan the brains of 44 violent adult male criminals who had already been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Of the total, 17 also were diagnosed as psychopathic. The study found that the psychopaths' brains had signifcantly less grey matter in the part of the brain that understands other people's emotions and intentions. Read Study finds psychopaths have distinct brain structure, on Foxnews.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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