A number of parents have written Lovefraud recently asking for advice regarding helping 16-24 year old sons and daughters whose other parent is a sociopath. These sons and daughters may be showing some signs of the disorder and the parents are at a loss about what to do. The stage of life between 16 and 24, is called emergent adulthood, and I have come to believe this stage is critical in the development of healthy and unhealthy personality patterns. With respect to antisocial personality (sociopathy/psychopathy), although symptoms of the disorder may be present during childhood and early adolescence, recent studies show this is not always the case. The disorder can develop during …
Lovefraud Lesson #10: Sociopaths always blame others
When sociopaths have problems in their lives, it's never their own fault. Donna Andersen explains why this is one of the most important Red Flags of Lovefraud. To watch the entire Lovefraud Lessons series, go the the Lovefraud Videos page. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/kL24yoR2H2M] …
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Finding meaning in life from tragedy
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning came to mind today. Dr. Frankl wrote his book after spending time in a Nazi concentration camp during WWII. He lost his wife, his family and most of his friends. His book was not just another list of the atrocities done by the Nazis, but a look at the emotional toll taken by the hopeless situations in the camps and how different people responded differently. I learned a lot from this book, and I highly recommend it for those who have suffered “hopeless” situations. "We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when fac …
Gain disguised as loss; healing after the storm
Few, if any, walk away from their experiences with psychopaths completely unscathed. They may leave us bankrupt, homeless, or destitute. They may feign victimization, as they continue to wage their assaults, further insulting what we actually endured at their hands. Their thirst for destruction may be almost insatiable when it comes to us. Those are just the tangible losses. Let us give equal time to the emotional confusion and trauma. Many of us suffer from PTSD, depression, or serious physical medical concerns, as a result. Living through experiences with psychopaths, or those with such features, is an incredible feat. While we tend to focus on the negative consequences, we shou …
Family Court Theater Presents: The Psychopath as “The Man Who Never Was”
Since the last round of my “Custody War” with Luc (my ex psychopath), I have thought a lot about the flaws in our legal system. I run the events of the trials (“battles”) over and over in my head. I still can't understand how such a disordered man like my ex can be allowed to have unsupervised access to a child. I know it is not healthy to think about it so much, but I can't help it when the thoughts creep into my head. I keep trying to put my finger on why this process left me so incredibly disturbed. Even after hearing disturbing testimony from several of Luc's previous victims (who graciously agreed to testify against Luc during my Custody War), I couldn't shake this feeling that I w …
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Sometimes, harassment by the sociopath just isn’t important
By Olga Rodriguez Every time I post on LF; I predictably get a text from the sociopath saying something negative; sure enough after the last posting (Now I can honestly say to a victim, 'I understand how you feel') I got one. I recall having a conversation with the sociopath back when we were still together. I was expressing my love of writing. I said I'd love to write a book sometime. His response was, “Me too.” I asked why and he said, “Just so I can say I wrote a book.” Bragging rights, I guess! I asked, “Would you care if it sold or not? “ He said, “No!” I explained that my reward would be having someone, even if it was just one person, say, “That book changed my life.” Or I'd like …
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Time and recovery from sociopaths
I can't believe that it is Labor Day. Here in the U.S., it's the holiday that marks the end of summer, and all I can wonder is, where did the summer go? Yesterday, my husband, Terry, complained about a "time leak"—he swears that an hour is now only 40 minutes long. Actually, of course, time keeps moving at the same pace, with the exception of the "leap second" added on June 30, 2012. (This apparently caused software problems all over the Internet.) Yes, time marches on—and we can use this to our advantage in recovering from the sociopath. Involvements with sociopaths cause serious damage to our emotions, psychology, health, finances, social connections—to our very lives. We can recove …
Lance Armstrong’s former employee tells tale of vengeance
Last week, Lance Armstrong gave up his fight against doping charges. For two years, Mike Anderson was Armstrong's personal assistant, during the height of his racing career. Anderson's story, published by Outside magazine, makes you wonder. Read My life with Lance Armstrong, on OutsideOnline.com. Interestingly, Sally Jenkins, a columnist for the Washington Post who co-wrote Lance Armstrong's book (It's Not About the Bike), rode to Armstrong's defense. She wrote, "Lance Armstrong is a good man. There's nothing that I can learn about him short of murder that would alter my opinion on that." Jenkins is also the sportswriter who originally believed Joe Paterno when he said he didn't know …
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Priest says, then regrets saying, children are often seducers
Rev. Benedict Groeschel of New York says, in an interview, that priests accused of child sex abuse are often seduced by their accusers. He then apologized, and his order, the Franciscan Friars, says the priest is "mentally frail." Read NY priest apologizes for saying child is often seducer in sex abuse cases, on NBCNews.com. And then there's this: Trial to open in notorious archdiocesan abuse case, on Philly.com. …
Priest says, then regrets saying, children are often seducersRead More