2013 | Page 25 of 27 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Still lying after all these years

February 2, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 16 Comments

Editor's note: The following essay was written by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Ella Mae.” I wish I would have read the signs early on and went with my gut 6 years ago. My story is this. We have been in a relationship for six years. Two of those six years we were married. We decided we would get married because I got pregnant. I thought that he would change and we would live happily ever after-- but that wasn't the case. When we were dating there were many red flags but I chose to ignore them. Every time he was caught in a lie, he would have an explanation. Me being naive, I thought how can someone possibly make a lie for everything. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and bel …

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Psychopaths pushing our buttons

February 1, 2013 // by Joyce Alexander// 346 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Most of you know I have spent a good portion of my life training animals of various kinds dogs for obedience and to work livestock, horses, donkeys and cattle (oxen). When we train animals, we “condition” them to do X and they receive Y reward. Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist, conditioned dogs to expect to be fed by ringing a bell every time they got fed. Eventually when a bell was rung, even though there was no food in sight, the animals expected to be fed, and their bodies reacted by making them “slobber” at the mouth, just as they would if food were present. B.F. Skinner, and American psychologist, observed that animals who had intermittent re …

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Grounding techniques to recover from a sociopath

January 30, 2013 // by Lovefraud Professional Resources// 15 Comments

Once you become aware of your emotional reactions to the sociopath through mindfulness [see previous article, Leaving the Sociopath: Gathering Strength and Losing Fear], it gives you more detachment from them. Instead of being immersed in a negative state (e.g. a state of panic created by your partner having a hostile behavior toward you, or perhaps your partner not coming home when they're supposed to), you also become -- in however slight a way -- an observer of it. This will help you feel more of a sense of control over your emotion. Trying to get the sociopath to understand your hurt, loneliness, etc, or meet one of your needs, is an exercise in futility. Now that you have more …

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Dark Triad in the office: Psychopath, Machiavellian, narcissist

January 29, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 42 Comments

In his new book, Oliver James, a British psychologist and TV broadcaster, describes the worst of white-collar workers. Why your boss could easily be a psychopath, on Telegraph.co.uk. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Sociopathic confidence and conviction, even when they’re lying

January 28, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 169 Comments

Downton Abbey was on TV last night, and Terry and I are among the millions of fans. Last night's episode (Season 3, Episode 4) ended in tragedy because of behavior that looked so familiar to me. (Spoiler Alert: The following description gives away the story.) Lord Grantham's daughter, Lady Sybil, is about to give birth. Rather than depend on the local country doctor, Dr. Clarkson, Lord Grantham has imported a more socially acceptable obstetrician, Sir Philip Tapsell, to deliver the baby. As the birth approaches, both doctors are in attendance at the estate. Lady Sybil starts acting incoherently. Dr Clarkson fears that she may be toxemic. He recommends that they rush to the hospital …

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Prevent Theft of Your Child’s Identity

January 27, 2013 // by Lovefraud Professional Resources// 1 Comment

By Elaine Walker, Certified Fraud Examiner We're constantly bombarded with advertisements for products to keep us safe from identity theft. Let's separate the facts from scare tactics. According to the Institute for Fraud Prevention, 60% of identity theft is perpetrated by someone the victim knows: a family member, friend, or someone who has access to the victim's home. LoveFraud readers know that the sociopath in their lives would have no problem starting a new financial life using a child's identity. But just how much should you pay for protecting your child's identity (and your own)? According to a Consumer Reports article published in February, 2012 (and revisited in January, …

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Father arrested in death of Prince McLeod Rams

January 25, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 69 Comments

Back in October, the Lovefraud community was shocked to learn that the toddler son of our own contributor, Cappuccino Queen, went to his father's home for a court-ordered visitation and did not return. Today the child's father, Joaquin Rams, was arrested for his murder. Joaquin Rams arrested for allegedly killing Prince McLeod Rams, on WJLA.com. Dr. Liane Leedom will be posting about this case soon. …

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Emotional versus sentimental in dealing with psychopaths

January 25, 2013 // by Joyce Alexander// 23 Comments

By Joyce Alexander RNP (retired) Back when I was a teenager, I had an opportunity to travel to Africa, where I met a man who was to become world famous, and was almost single handedly responsible for the saving of both the black and white rhinos, Dr. Ian Player (the brother of golfer Gary Player.) Recently, the belief of rhino horn as a “cure all” has gotten to where the price for a single horn can top $400,000. This has caused the poaching of these wonderful animals, which still number less than 5,000 black rhinos and about 21,000 white rhinos, most of them located in South Africa. I feel very privileged to have known Dr. Player when he was simply “Ian” in a pair of green parks departm …

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Forgiveness

January 24, 2013 // by Linda Hartoonian Almas// 374 Comments

If the wounds are too fresh and the thought of forgiving the person who abused and upset you hurts too much, honor that. There is no shame in not being ready. It is normal and everyone's timeline is different. Close the article for the time being or read it for nothing more than future reference, with no pressure or expectations. Allow yourself to feel all that you do, the pain included, with as much passion and purpose as possible. After a while, come back to it. Examine what you have gained, rather than concentrate on what you have lost, even if what you have lost is significant. The hope is that your personal growth is also significant and that the positive things you come to learn …

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Escaped con man Patrick Giblin in the news, due to Lovefraud tip

January 23, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

Patrick Giblin, profiled in True Lovefraud Stories (Trolling phone dating lines, taking money from 132 women), escaped from custody on January 18, 2013. Lovefraud found out because two of his victims contacted me. I tipped off the Philadelphia Inquirer, which published a story today. With con man on loose, victims on edge, on Philly.com. …

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Donna Andersen on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “Thank you for your thoughtful comment.”
samson75 on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “The majority of studies show that bipolar and psychopathy can be comorbid, though it is rare. What people likely see…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on What narcissists will never understand: “Hi Sept4–In my article if you notice in the last paragraph, I mentioned that narcissists willfully misunderstand others because they refuse to…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on What narcissists will never understand: “Hi Sept4–”
sept4 on What narcissists will never understand: “I actually disagree that they don’t understand normal human behavior. I think they do understand but they just don’t care.…”