Editor's note: The following essay was written by the Lovefraud reader "Adelade." Without going into a long, drawn-out recollection of my experiences with sociopaths, I wanted to talk about my “Panic Buttons.” The panic buttons are the same as “triggers,” but I tend to panic, so I see them as “panic buttons.” There is a host of priceless discussion on this site about triggering. I'm one of those types that not only triggers, but I typically fall down a vortex of panic that starts out on the edge of the whirlwind, and I spiral downwards, and inwards, until I'm so disoriented that I don't know how to get out. The “reason” that I tend to panic is because of my past experiences with soci …
No matter how much you know, sometimes you just fall apart anyway
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I've recognized that my son is a psychopath since 2006, and have cut contact with him. Unfortunately, he has not forgotten me, and sent one of his friends to kill me, and probably intended to, one by one, kill the rest of the family, so he could have everything we collectively own. Every so often Patrick comes up for parole. I have been working with an attorney who “gets it” about psychopaths, and with others, to protest his parole. I have had wonderful support here from the Lovefraud community, many of whom have sent letters to my attorney in support of my parole protest. Many family members and friends have written some wonderful letters as well. Som …
No matter how much you know, sometimes you just fall apart anywayRead More
Sociopaths and creepy trophies
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. First of all I want to thank everyone who commented on the posts that I've written over the last couple of years. Recently I did a post on How to speed date a sociopath. Whilst I make every effort to move on with my life after the psychopath, occasionally something will come up that causes me to think “Why do they do that?” So the topic of this post is whether or not any of you have experienced the following: In my book Dark Souls, I wrote about an occasion where my ex moved my cash card. A week later I found it hidden behind a bottle of sauce on the top of …
Witnessing a psychopathic interaction: seeing, knowing, and empathizing
Have you ever watched a "psychopathic interaction" taking place and wished you were able to approach the non-psychopath and offer her (or him) all of the knowledge you already have on the subject? I have. Even if you are in the initial phases of learning, the fact that you are here indicates that you have an idea of what is occurring. In the interaction I will highlight, the non-psychopath was, sadly, without a clue. At first, I could not believe what I was seeing. Although, retrospectively, I fail to see what made it unbelievable to me, since I had lived it. Nonetheless, the goings on made me uneasy. I knew just enough about the situation to suspect that psychopathy was at play in t …
Witnessing a psychopathic interaction: seeing, knowing, and empathizingRead More
Crazy, evil and prevention
Martin Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association, wrote in an essay about the differences between crazy and evil. Better mental health services won't stop evil, on PressOfAtlanticCity.com. …
I’m Still Standing!
Well, 2013 has arrived so I'd like to wish a very Happy New Year to everyone here on Lovefraud. I'd also like to make an official announcement (thank you Donna) to say that my book has finally been published! Hoorah! It's been one heck of a journey getting to this stage, but it certainly feels worth it — the excitement tinged with a touch of fear (will people like it? Will it help others?) has meant that I've been gently fizzing for the past ten days. Why did I decide to pour my heart and soul out in a book that can be read by anyone who chooses? To be fair it's a question I'm asking myself more now than ever. Because the old worry monsters are once again rumbling inside me, but I won't l …
How to speed date a sociopath
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. For the three years since I broke up with the psychopathic ex I have remained single. I've met a few wannabe boyfriends, but unfortunately they have turned out to be disordered, so I never took it past the going for a coffee stage. Like many other victims, I've focused on my own recovery and have even written a couple of books on it to help other women. During the time I was dating this man, whom I call "Oliver" in the book, I was also friends with another man. We had met long before on a dating site but never consummated the relationship (i.e. had sex), and h …
Time as a factor in healing
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Many times our friends, in an effort to be helpful, but not actually understanding what we have been through in a “break up” with a psychopath, may tell us, “It's time you move on with your life, and start dating again,” or words to that effect. Any time you lose something important in your life, you suffer what is known as “grief.” It doesn't matter if that something is a break up of a relationship, a job, a death of someone you love, or you lose the Miss America Pageant when you expected to win. Anything that was important and is lost causes grief. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, an internationally known psychiatrist, studied grief in the terminally …
Who intentionally runs over turtles?
This is a story close to my heart. I live at the Jersey Shore. Every June and July, female turtles creep from the bay and go in search of high ground to lay their eggs. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of them never make it. Their journey takes them across paved roadways, where many are squished. I've seen them. Research by two young men show that a certain percentage of the turtle killings are intentional. Nathan Weaver, a student at Clemson University placed a plastic turtle in the road near his campus. In the course of one hour, seven out of 267 vehicles, 2.62 percent, swerved in order to hit the turtle. Read: Clemson student's turtle project takes a dark twist, on …
Tim Blair, aka rapper Tim Dog, exposed by women who “invested” in his business schemes
Esther Pilgrim met Tim Blair on an online dating site. He was charming, attentive—then offered her a business proposition. Well, we all know how that goes. But turned out that Blair had run the same charade on multiple women from across the U.S. to the Netherlands to Australia. They worked together and turned the tables on him—with one women even going under cover. Watch the Dateline Show: Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy …
Tim Blair, aka rapper Tim Dog, exposed by women who “invested” in his business schemesRead More