How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Subtle Sociopath “Tells”– Lacking Empathy Even When You’re Ill

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 5: Make Your Own Damn Sandwich! I did not extrapolate or act upon these seemingly small moments of dissonance, but I had a friend who did exactly that in one of her relationships. Her decision to trust her instincts and to generalize from one small selfish act to what married life with her fiancé would be like may have saved her from a disastrous marriage, perhaps to a soc …

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After the discard, I discovered everything I thought I knew about him was a lie

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a man whom we'll call "Evan." We were together for four years. He discarded me out of the blue one day for someone he had known 2 weeks. It wasn't until after the discard I discovered that everything I had thought I knew about him was a lie. I also found out he had been cheating on me, with God knows how many people, our entire relationship. At last count, I could confirm 10. I cannot confirm that any of the individuals he cheated on me with were female, but I heard stories and have my suspicions. I do know for certain he attempted a sexual encounter with our good friend and neighbor, who is a married female, but aside from that, I …

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How Dr. Bob Hare began studying psychopaths, and what he learned

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When Dr. Robert Hare started his job as a young prison psychologist, the first prisoner he met was a psychopath, although Hare didn't know it yet. In an interview published in Discover Magazine, Hare describes the encounter with a man he calls "Ray:" “He was extremely predatory, looked at me like I was food,” recalls Hare. “With his eyes, he nailed me to the wall.” Then Ray pulled out a crude, handmade knife and waved it at Hare. When Hare refrained from pressing the panic button, Ray said he planned to use his weapon on another inmate. Hare felt that Ray was testing him, so he chose not to report the prisoner or the contraband weapon to other staff. Hare wanted to solve the puzzle of the inm …

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Sociopath: “Moments of Weirdness” Or Unrecognized Red Flags?

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  By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 4: Love At First Sight Is Possible...Just Be Sure You're Seeing Clearly  Paul was romantic, caring, and attentive. He took me to plays, cooked dinner with me, and shared hikes and long walks. When our relationship evolved to physical intimacy, he was an amorous but gentle lover. I felt so lucky to have found him. By the time we started dating, Paul already had a co …

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What narcissists are really saying

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Book Review: The Narc Decoder Understanding the language of the narcissist, by Tina Swithin. If you're involved with a sociopath, narcissist or other disordered individual, there comes a time when they attack. The love bombing has stopped maybe ages ago. They are through with you, or sense that you are through with them. They either regard you with contempt, or are furious that you figured them out and had the audacity to leave. They start sending nasty text messages and emails. Here's one that Tina Swithin, author of The Narc Decoder, received from her ex-husband while they were in the midst of a custody battle over their two daughters: Tina - The most tragic part is what you are doing …

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Tell Lovefraud about your experience with sociopaths, PTSD and court

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[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzJm0I4CzuM"] Judge Lou Olivera, of the Cumberland County, North Carolina, veterans court program, sentenced Sgt. Joseph Serna, a Special Forces soldier who did four combat tours in Afghanistan, to 24 hours in jail for violating probation. Judge Olivera knew that Sgt. Serna suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). So when the judge saw Serna trembling as he turned himself in to serve the sentence, Judge Olivera decided to serve the time with him. Read: A compassionate judge sentences a veteran to 24 hours in jail, then joins him behind bars, on WashingtonPost.com. Yes, what Judge Olivera did to support Sgt. Serna is terrific. But …

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