How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / 2016 / Archives for October 2016

Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 1)

//  by //  1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Nadine." When the mask of your Narcopath is ripped off in a split second you spend your days reeling from the shock of what you discovered. This is my story of how I took my power back and why I need to keep reminding myself it's still in my hands. The bad days make me forget I have the power; the good days make me grateful I do. I'll call him the Narc from this point forward, however I'm still unsure what his diagnosis is. He could be a sociopath/psychopath/anti social. My psychologist thinks he has a dual diagnosis of some type. He doesn't fit any of the boxes neatly, but he is on the spectrum without a …

Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 1)Read More

A reader’s proposal for a con artist database

//  by //  1 Comment

Editor's note: The following proposal was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Francine." I wrote a letter to my congressperson about proposing a national database, where someone can find out if a person has scammed others. As you know and other scams victims to do also, or will find out, there is little you can do criminally. I hope by posting by posting this on your forum, other members/victims will write to THEIR legislator and perhaps ONE of them will propose legislation. I know my local congressperson will NOT. I was scammed out of thousands of dollars, and while it may be more emotionally satisfying to beat the crap out of him, not only is it illegal and unbecoming, …

A reader’s proposal for a con artist databaseRead More

A Sociopath’s Pity Play and Your Empathy Cement a Toxic Relationship

//  by //  3 Comments

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 27 is so long, half of it appeared last week and the second half appears below. Chapter 27: Nightmare On Elm Street (part B) We moved into the house in late November. I had almost no help from Paul emptying boxes and setting up the house. I had no close friends yet who could lend a hand. My ability to service my previous clients waned. Most of my work was concentrated on three m …

A Sociopath’s Pity Play and Your Empathy Cement a Toxic RelationshipRead More

Video: Dr. Karin Huffer on dealing with a coercive controller in court

//  by //  2 Comments

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/WaSFfosRoKo" title="Surviving%20Court%20When%20You%27re%20Traumatized"] You've been traumatized, and now you must face the person who traumatized you in court. Whether the case is divorce, child custody or some other litigation, you know that your opponent's objective isn't just to win the case. Your opponent will attempt to use legal procedures and the courts to crush you. How can you protect yourself? Surviving Court When You're Traumatized Part 1: How to protect yourself when you're facing a coercive controller Monday, October 17, 2016 • 8-9 pm EDT • $25 Part 2: How the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) can support you Tuesday, October 25, 2016 • 8-9 p …

Video: Dr. Karin Huffer on dealing with a coercive controller in courtRead More

Invisible Intimate Partner Abuse and How to Manage Coercive Control in Court

//  by //  Leave a Comment

By Dr. Karin Huffer — editor Wilene Gremain In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here's a composite story drawn from my cases: I was a successful college educated thirty-something when I finally met my soul mate on a cruise ship to Alaska. Independent thinker, educated, ecology minded, career oriented, honest, he was almost the mirror image of myself as far as these qualities, two of a kind. We had it all. I was incredibly happy. Anything ”¦ we would do anything to show the love and respect we felt for each other. “Marry Me?” “You Bet!” After almost one year of marriage and closing in on our first Christmas together, I was at full throttle to make the best ever Christma …

Invisible Intimate Partner Abuse and How to Manage Coercive Control in CourtRead More

Sociopaths cannot love, they just want to win

//  by //  46 Comments

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/scpZeDFSJZ8" title="Sociopaths%20cannot%20love,%20they%20just%20want%20to%20win"] In this "Letter to Lovefraud" video, I explain the sad truth about sociopaths in romantic relationships. A Lovefraud reader writes that her ex-boyfriend said that he missed her, he loved her, he changed. But when the reader went to see him, the guy humiliated her. The fact is, the guy is a sociopath, and sociopaths cannot love. He concocted the story to deceive the reader, just so he could hurt her. For him, the entire episode was a big win. The reader, however, can win in the end, by recognizing what her sociopathic ex really is, and eliminating him from her …

Sociopaths cannot love, they just want to winRead More

Consumer studies professor learns her identity was stolen by her own mother

//  by //  3 Comments

Axton Betz-Hamilton, an assistant professor of consumer studies at Eastern Illinoiz University, had battled her own identity theft for 16 years. In 2012, she won an award for her work, and her mother stood smiling next to her as she accepted the honor. Then, when her mother died, Axton learned that her mother was the one who stole her identity when she was 11 years old. Axton says her mother was a low-grade psychopath. My mom stole my identity when I was just 11 years old, on NYPost.com.   …

Consumer studies professor learns her identity was stolen by her own motherRead More

Once You’re Hooked, Sociopaths Ignore and Criticize

//  by //  7 Comments

  Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 25/26:  Last week, I skipped a chapter. When someone pointed out the oversight, I backtracked and added it to last week's post. Chapter 27 is so long, half of it appears below and the second half will appear next week. Chapter 27: Nightmare On Elm Street (part A) While Paul worked in Connecticut and the kids and I were still in New York, I barely saw him, although we …

Once You’re Hooked, Sociopaths Ignore and CriticizeRead More

7 Social Science Insights that Will Help You Understand Why It’s Not So Easy to “Just Get the Hell Out”

//  by //  3 Comments

By Amber Ault, Ph.D. One of the many difficult questions survivors of toxic relationships ask themselves is “why is it so hard to leave someone who treats me so badly?” As rational people, we recognize that a relationship is extremely problematic and believe that the rational course of action would be just to stop the drama. And yet. And yet, this is usually harder than it sounds. While there are practical and logistical barriers to people exiting, the emotional resistance to leaving is usually present even when there aren't kids or property or business deals or divorce laws slowing us down. What accounts for this? Why is it so common? Social science has some insights that hel …

7 Social Science Insights that Will Help You Understand Why It’s Not So Easy to “Just Get the Hell Out”Read More

3 sociopathic partners, one after the other

//  by //  2 Comments

  Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gianna." The first sociopath I met was most likely my ex husband. He did not show guilt nor remorse for his constant infidelity and apathy towards me for the 2 years that we were together. Finally when he found someone new, he agreed to an annulment, but it proved favourable to him because now he had a reason to do so because he got the girl pregnant and he could blame me for the annulment because in the years we were apart, I also had a relationship. And the full blame on the annulment was directed at me instead of him. For the relationship I had immediately after my ex husband, he showed all the …

3 sociopathic partners, one after the otherRead More