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Archives for 2016

You are here: Home / Archives for 2016
good lies

New research on why people who tell small lies graduate to big lies

October 25, 2016 //  by Donna Andersen//  4 Comments

An article in the New York Times reviews new research on how the brain reacts to lies. Essentially, when someone continues to lie, "the negative emotional signals initially associated with lying decrease as the brain becomes desensitized." Why big liars often start out as small ones, on NYTimes.com. The story did not say that the research had anything to do with personality disorders. But it certainly makes sense with sociopaths — the more they lie, the easier it becomes, and they tell more lies. And then there's this sociopaths like the sense of power and control that they experience when people believe their lies. So not only does the negative reinforcement fade, but the positive rein …

New research on why people who tell small lies graduate to big liesRead More

Category: Scientific research

Donald Trump’s abusive behavior triggers PTSD – and so does Hillary Clinton’s

October 24, 2016 //  by Donna Andersen

  Presidential nominee Donald Trump went to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, on Saturday, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of America's Civil War, supposedly to outline his plans for his first 100 days in office. But first, he said he'd sue the women who accused him of groping or kissing them without their consent. Typical abusive behavior Trump denied and threatened. That's the typical behavior of an abuser and it's triggering symptoms of PTSD in women who have endured sexual assault and/or relationships with sociopaths. A Lovefraud reader wrote: I wanted to bring up something that has been happening and it's alarming.  While Trump has been campaigning for president, it has caused …

Donald Trump’s abusive behavior triggers PTSD – and so does Hillary Clinton’sRead More

Category: Media sociopaths

letter to lovefraud

I almost left my husband for a narcissist

October 21, 2016 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Marguerite." Hi Donna. I have recently read your book Love Fraud and am now reading Red Flags of Love Fraud, both of which I found were excellent. I feel I am recovering from being in a relationship with a narcissist, although I feel blessed that things did not progress from the love bombing stage, which was exactly as you describe in your second book. Showering me with attention It was a very intense period of showering me with a huge amount of attention, adoration and admiration, and I now believe telling me the things I wanted to hear. I'm ashamed to say I was already married when I met him, and at …

I almost left my husband for a narcissistRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

Husband Liar Sociopath

Marital Therapy With A Sociopath–Don’t Waste Your Time

October 20, 2016 //  by O.N.Ward//  6 Comments

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.   Chapter 28: All The World's A Stage—To A Sociopath I researched marital therapists, searching for a male counselor (hoping to make Paul more comfortable) with an office near Paul's work so appointments would be minimally disruptive to his stressful, all-consuming job. And so the charade began. Marital talk therapy with a sociopath is like an art appreciation lecture for the bl …

Marital Therapy With A Sociopath–Don’t Waste Your TimeRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Banks in Singapore train employees to spot romance scams

October 19, 2016 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

A flustered elderly woman walked into an OCBC bank branch in Singapore. Her "friend" was in trouble in Malaysia, and she wanted to send him money. The woman knew her "friend" from the Internet. His bank details didn't match his name. And if he was locked up by the police, how was he able to call the woman? The bank customer service representative, Kristie Chiang, spent hours talking to the woman, trying to convince her that the request for money was a scam. Finally, the woman agreed to file a report with the police. According to another employee, the bank continually trains them to watch out for romance scams, which is a massive problem in Asia. Conflicting bank details raise alarm of …

Banks in Singapore train employees to spot romance scamsRead More

Category: Media sociopaths

Video: Basic rules for a custody battle with a sociopath

October 17, 2016 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/i-OqrsZ7o3U" title="Basic%20rules%20for%20a%20custody%20battle%20with%20a%20sociopath"] In this edition of "Letters to Lovefraud" videos, a reader is facing a custody battle with her son's father, who she believes is a sociopath. She asks, "What are my options? Can I mention him being a sociopath in court without looking crazy?" I explain the basic rules of a custody battle with a sociopath. I emphasize that this is not a court procedure with a reasonable person who wants what is best for the child. And I explain your most important tool for building your case. …

Video: Basic rules for a custody battle with a sociopathRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Spath Tales

Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 2)

October 16, 2016 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  2 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Nadine." Read Part 1. I met my partner's parents very early on in the relationship. I was equipped with some knowledge about Narcs due to one of my friends having a Narc ex-mother-in-law. My radar was up, but unfortunately I was looking closely at mother and father instead of him. I did not know about love bombing, so I had no clue he was even remotely like his parents. I knew she was bad news the day I met her. Father was the silent brooding intimating type. Throughout the relationship I was constantly standing my ground with boundaries that were continuously ignored or disrespected. As the mask of my …

Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 2)Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Spath Tales

Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 1)

October 15, 2016 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Nadine." When the mask of your Narcopath is ripped off in a split second you spend your days reeling from the shock of what you discovered. This is my story of how I took my power back and why I need to keep reminding myself it's still in my hands. The bad days make me forget I have the power; the good days make me grateful I do. I'll call him the Narc from this point forward, however I'm still unsure what his diagnosis is. He could be a sociopath/psychopath/anti social. My psychologist thinks he has a dual diagnosis of some type. He doesn't fit any of the boxes neatly, but he is on the spectrum without a …

Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 1)Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

con man

A reader’s proposal for a con artist database

October 14, 2016 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

Editor's note: The following proposal was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Francine." I wrote a letter to my congressperson about proposing a national database, where someone can find out if a person has scammed others. As you know and other scams victims to do also, or will find out, there is little you can do criminally. I hope by posting by posting this on your forum, other members/victims will write to THEIR legislator and perhaps ONE of them will propose legislation. I know my local congressperson will NOT. I was scammed out of thousands of dollars, and while it may be more emotionally satisfying to beat the crap out of him, not only is it illegal and unbecoming, …

A reader’s proposal for a con artist databaseRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Husband Liar Sociopath

A Sociopath’s Pity Play and Your Empathy Cement a Toxic Relationship

October 13, 2016 //  by O.N.Ward//  3 Comments

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 27 is so long, half of it appeared last week and the second half appears below. Chapter 27: Nightmare On Elm Street (part B) We moved into the house in late November. I had almost no help from Paul emptying boxes and setting up the house. I had no close friends yet who could lend a hand. My ability to service my previous clients waned. Most of my work was concentrated on three m …

A Sociopath’s Pity Play and Your Empathy Cement a Toxic RelationshipRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

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  • Donna Andersen on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “Thank you for your thoughtful comment.”
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