How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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My sociopathic ex-husband led my son into the lion’s den

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we'll call "Eleanor." Names have been changed. The sociopath is my ex-husband. We were married for 10 years, two children, girl and boy. He changed THE DAY we were married. He has alcohol problem, cheated on me, lies. When I asked him to see marriage counselor, he told me to go by myself. I went for counseling by myself for approximately 4 months and was told, "I can either counsel you to live with him or counsel you to live without him." This is way before I figured out he is a sociopath, I decided this was not my idea of love. So I told ex that I was going for divorce. He was enraged. Would not give me money for …

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Why our brains don’t see the truth about sociopaths

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 32: So Close And Yet So Far Having validation that my perception of Paul was as real as any perception could be and not distorted by my bias and any personal baggage was inordinately helpful. Paul had always played the “I have no idea what you are talking about” or the “You must be jealous” cards with me when I broached the subject of his and Anne-Marie's behavior. I was always too …

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Retirees: Beware of Internet love scams and computer repair scams

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  Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a retired woman who hopes to warn others about the dangers she encountered on the Internet. In the past, my only contact with psychopaths was in the psychiatric penitentiary where I worked as the librarian, but lately I have been meeting a number of them on the Internet. Most of them approached me through Skype, although several contacted me via other sources. If some of your readers do not really realize it yet, if approached by a general in the US Army, or any officer in the Army, or captain of a ship, or a doctor in the Middle East for UN or whatever, who is lonely and wants to befriend you, then loves you — DON'T FALL …

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Mind control: A real and dangerous problem

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A woman is trapped in a situation that is just like a cult, although the cult has a leader, the woman's husband, and only one follower, her. It's frightening. The husband totally abuses his wife, made her sign a suicide note, and attempted to poison her. The story sounds totally unbelievable, but cases like this do happen. If you know someone in this situation, the best thing you can do is maintain communication with the person. You don't necessarily want to denounce the cult leader, because that could backfire. For more information, I recommend the work of Steve Hassan, including his website, Freedom of Mind.   …

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Sociopaths Can Turn On You In A Heartbeat

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 31: Not Your Everyday Walk In The Park Soon after the cookie incident, I was in a park near Paul's office when I noticed two people who worked for Paul eating a bag lunch while sitting on the park swings. Neither of them recognized me. The only time I had met them was at a holiday party, and I had been dressed up with makeup, contacts, and my hair down. With blue jeans and a …

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I had to wake up to reality – psychopaths are real

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Willa." My Mom and sister are mean and they don't feel guilt. They made the pain seem normal. I finally hit bottom and had to wake up to a reality I never dreamed was true, "psychopaths are real." I was in a relationship for 4 years of torture. I thought he was my dream man. I thought we where going to marry. When we met, he was 35 and lived with his mom and dad. They said he was a loving son, good boy never in trouble. I never saw him drink, drugs, smoke. He liked everything I liked. It was like my perfect twin soul mate. He did what I wanted to do. He went along with everything I wanted. Outwardly I …

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“Woman chained like a dog” case: How can we protect ourselves from people who are pure evil?

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Todd Christopher Kohlhepp, 45, of Moore, South Carolina was denied bail yesterday after being charged with kidnapping and murder. Last week, news broke that a woman had been found alive in a metal storage container on a rural property in Woodruff, South Carolina. According to the Spartanburg sheriff, she'd been in the container for two months, chained by her neck "like a dog." Kala Brown, 30, along with her boyfriend, Charles Carver, 32, had been missing since late August. Brown and Carver went to the 95-acre property, owned by Kohlhepp, to do work for him, and when they arrived, Brown said, Kohlhepp shot Carver. His body was just found. Brown told authorities that four more people …

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He asked me for money – then another woman messaged me and said he was using her for money

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Agatha." I started to talk to a male friend I was connected to on Facebook after I had a tough break up. He said he reached out to me because he had just gone through similar and thought he could help. After a few weeks we started to flirt with each other. I did at first, then he went full blown. Within a week of this talk, he admitted he loved me. I did think it was soon but I felt the same. Then he said he wanted to marry me, possibly have a child, grow old together. Said we were life partners. I went to visit him and spent a three-day weekend with him, and he had his two young sons for the days of …

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How to survive divorcing a narcissistic or borderline partner

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Here's the first thing you need to know about divorcing a narcissistic or borderline partner: It will not be a "normal" divorce. Yes, divorce is always painful. But if you think your divorce will be like those of your friends or relatives messy, but in the end, fairly reasonable — well, you are at risk of being blindsided. If your partner is narcissistic or borderline, you're in for a "high conflict" divorce. You need to be prepared. In her Lovefraud CE webinar, Sonia Brill, LCSW, will tell you what to expect before, during and after the divorce. Whether you are contemplating making a break, or are already in the midst of the drama, she'll tell you how to move forward. Step 1: Assess …

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A Relationship With A Sociopath Makes You Question What’s “Normal”

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  Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 30: Down The Rabbit Hole Paul had agreed to therapy under the condition that I would not tell anyone we were going. With the expectation of keeping my word, I promised. Normally, I honor my commitments, and secrets are safe with me. But I broke my promise to Paul after two months. I did it, because I felt like I was going crazy. I needed a reality check from an outside …

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