How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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For Valentine’s Day: 8 differences between sociopathic “love” and real love

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Yes, there is love after the sociopath. I divorced my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, in 2000. A little more than a year later, I met Terry Kelly. We dated for a few years, got to know each other, and then married. Terry and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. I can honestly say that I am as happy and in love as I was on our wedding day. What's different about love with a normal, caring person, and "love" with a sociopath? Just about everything. 1.  Real love is peaceful I don't have the stress, drama and doubt that I felt while married to the sociopath. Instead, with Terry, I feel calm and content. 2. Real love is supportive My sociopathic ex-husband was …

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Identifying sociopathic behavior is easy; giving advice is hard

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Just about every day, Lovefraud receives e-mail from readers who are looking for answers about confusing, contradictory and abusive behavior exhibited by people in their lives. The new readers don't understand what they are dealing with; they just tell, either in a few paragraphs or lengthy compositions, their stories. The e-mails describe some or many of the following behaviors: Pathological lying Pity plays Shallow emotions Devalue and discard Cheating or promiscuity Addiction to drugs or alcohol Controlling demands Financial irresponsibility Manipulation of children Broken promises Claims of “you made me do it” Pleas of “I'll never do it again” The …

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Sociopaths Lack Empathy–Even For Their Own Children

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 38B: By now, I hope you are catching on to sociopath math and can predict Paul's reaction to arriving late with Daniel's birthday pizza. “But I just got here, and I cut my day short to get the pizza,” Paul said. “Paul,” I replied, “we have to leave or the kids will be late to practice. We'll heat it up when we get back.” “I never said I'd be able to get here earlier,” …

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The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Read Part 1. His home loan Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative. To calm him down, I suggested we maybe buy a holiday home together along the coastline somewhere. He was not interested at all. Thinking back, he probably had a stinky credit record and …

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The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Hi Donna, I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress. My relationship was very short, about 6 months in total, but nevertheless, shattered my dreams and faith in …

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Love, sex, your brain and sociopaths

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Ever since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been trying to understand and explain the mysteries of love and sex. Over the past few decades, scientists started using specialized equipment to measure physical arousal by attaching devices to private parts. More recently, they've been observing the most important romantic organ in the human body—the brain. Forbes wrote about the research of Andreas Bartels, Ph.D., at the Imperial College of London. Bartels used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, which can capture images of brain activity, to pinpoint the areas of the brain that are activated by love. Bartles did a study of 17 people who were madly in …

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After the sociopath, learning to trust again

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A Lovefraud reader posted the following comment awhile back: I just have one question for everyone here. Does anyone trust people after these sick people did what they did to us? Unfortunately for me ”¦ I have run across a few of these sickos but NONE like my ex. Whoever I meet now I'm thinking to myself, who is this person really? Do they have a secret life like the Scott Petersons and Ted Bundys of this world? I don't let my children out of my sight and I'm already training my kids and they all know the signs of a sociopath especially my girls. I feel like I'm in a prison sometimes in my mind as I try so hard but just can't trust anyone. Yes, it is possible to trust again. Remember, …

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Convicted con artist Patrick Giblin again pleads guilty to scamming women

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Patrick Giblin, 52, formerly of Ventnor, New Jersey, yesterday pleaded guilty to scamming more than 10 women out of $15,000 to $40,000. Giblin did this between January 2013 and December 2014 while on parole for previously scamming 132 women out of $320,241. Here's Lovefraud's original coverage of the story: Patrick Giblin trolls phone dating lines, taking money from 132 women, on Lovefraud.com. According to U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman, Giblin's most recent adventures in phone scamming went like this: From January 2013 to Dec. 16, 2014, Giblin allegedly posted advertisements and messages on telephone dating services throughout the United States. Giblin cultivated a telephone rapport with …

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Sociopaths Lie Even When The Truth Would Work Just Fine

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 38A: I always considered Paul honorable and honest, so it took me an embarrassingly long time for inconsistencies in his version of events to register as what they were—lies. I knew my husband had faults and, in all likelihood, had had an affair with Anne-Marie, but it never occurred to me that he was fundamentally dishonest and a chronic liar. But I could not escape the …

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Woman finds the ‘pickup artists’ who raped her – and bragged about it on the Internet

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A San Diego woman passed out in the apartment of some guys she just met in October 2013. She was raped. When she awoke, she went to the police. Many rape cases end up being "he said, she said" situations, where the perpetrator claims that the sex was consensual. But this woman conducted her own Internet investigation. She found that the man who raped her, Alexander Markham Smith, 27, and his friend, Jonas Dick, 28, ran a business called "Efficient Pickup." The idea was to teach men how to have sex with as many women as possible. To prove that their methods worked, Smith and Dick posted stories about their exploits including a detailed account of the San Diego woman's rape. It was enough …

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