How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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My uncle is a sociopath — how do I protect our family?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call, "Trisha17." My uncle (mother’s side) is a sociopath. I’ve known since my first memory of him as a child, I just saw it in his mannerisms, heard it in his voice, saw it in his lack of genuine care for others. I just instinctually knew. I have always found him to be totally fake. My father is a highly intelligent and relatively benign grandiose narcissist. I have narcissistic traits but am definitely an empath. I have clued in to sociopaths and have been taken aback that no one else sees it. I remember when my grandma was having a serious surgery he went to get a haircut while she was under the kni …

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Devin Kelley, Texas church shooter, exhibited a pattern of psychopathic behavior, but no one saw the whole picture

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The stories coming out of the massacre in the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, are horrific and heartbreaking. The shooter, Devin Patrick Kelley, 26, walked into the church dressed in combat gear and killed congregants in the pews.  One survivor reported that Kelley became enraged that children were scared, and shot them multiple times. Kelley executed 26 people that day, including nine children. Eight members of one extended family were killed. Twenty more churchgoers were injured. Authorities release IDs of Texas church victims, on ABCnews.go.com Afterwards, of course, everyone is asking, “How did this happen?” “Were there any warning signs?” The answer is YES! There …

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Mandy Friedman, MS LPC NCC: The True Sources of Trauma

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Editor's note: Lovefraud is pleased to introduce a new therapist in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide, Mandy Friedman, MS, LPC, NCC. Mandy is located in Cincinnati, Ohio, and specializes in helping survivors of toxic and exploitative personalities. By Mandy Friedman, MS, LPC, NCC My interest in learning about exploitative personalities began as I was trying to make sense of experiences I was having in my personal life. Then, as a mental health counselor, I began connecting dots in therapy sessions as clients worked to overcome painful experiences from their past. A large percentage of clients come to therapy to address anxiety, depression, unhealthy behaviors, difficulty with …

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Grooming: How the religious and cultural ideas of my childhood conditioned me to accept pain and abuse

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When I said that “god was my first abuser,” at our regular meeting of Parents of Sexually Abused Children, no one sucked in their breath or exhibited shock. A tough group, no one even blinked an eye. That week’s topic, “Grooming” was assigned by Aidan, our lead Social Worker who, while she listened to us, liked to re-shape lifeless paper clips into unconventional characters that she’d stand up on an enormous art canvas she’d been creating for years and years. I shared with my group that, in Grade 1, when I learned that god ordered his own kid, a boy, to save the world, I instantly thought of Gordie, my teenaged brother. As Sister Brebeuf pointed to a bleeding figure nailed to a crucifix …

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12 Reasons to forgive yourself for falling for the sociopath

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Once I figured out that my entire relationship was a scam, the person I was most angry with was myself. I really beat myself up. Why did I fall for the lies? Why was I such a chump? Sound familiar? Since my disastrous experience with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, one of the most important things that I've learned about tangling with sociopaths is that we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves for believing them. We are not stupid. We are normal, empathetic people who didn't stand a chance against skilled predators, and here's a dozen reasons why: 1 . No one told us about sociopaths. In school, church, college or even magazine articles, we never learned that there are …

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‘I Love You’ from the perspective of a narcissist

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Editor's note: The following article was contributed by the Lovefraud reader "macus1529," who has written in the Lovefraud Forum about her experience with a disordered relationship. ‘I love you’ are some of the most powerful words one person can say to another, and while their meaning is universal, sometimes the person saying them can’t grasp this meaning. This letter is to the unfortunate many who have fallen in love with someone who will always love themselves more than they can love another. Written from the view of the narcissist hell bent on keeping that person under their thumb. Dear Codependent Partner, What I’m about to say is not something I’d ever say or admit (to you), …

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Sociopaths are evil, dark, and soulless

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 54:  Just Plain Mean I flew back East to be with my family. My mother survived her heart attack but was altered permanently by the event—physically, emotionally, and cognitively. Due t …

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No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victim

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Tyler17." My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed. She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off …

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