How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Shania." Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter. I'm a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder. A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say. I first noticed a red flag before we started dating. Out of nowhere, Mark came over to me and cut off a …

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Quora: What’s it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?

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The following question was posed on Quora: "What's it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?" The woman who asked the question included commentary about sociopaths, some of which I disagree with. For example, she said, "Sometimes you see even the most terrifying sociopaths get out of prison and go on to have their own children who they do not mistreat, and actually like." Actually, sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children, so even if they don't beat their kids, they'll probably inflict psychological and emotional abuse. But what makes this Quora thread really interesting is not the question, but the answers. Several people who identified themselves …

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Explaining love addiction with a sociopath

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According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain's reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video.Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can't get what you want.So what happens when you fall in love …

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Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife

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Editor's note: The following article was sent to Lovefraud by a reader whom we'll call "Maura." My friend Annie was sent this text from her sociopathic ex. Three and half years ago, he abandoned her and their sons after a 17-year marriage. No doubt other readers have had similar hoover texts, and either ignored them or fell for them. For entertainment and education purposes, we’ve analysed his standard manipulative ploys and use of charm to break down her defences and weasel his foot in the door. On the surface his text seems contrite and genuine enough. However, he is a sociopath who will do and say anything to lure her back in. The bottom line — it is all a con and he wants to exert c …

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After our own abusive childhoods, endeavoring to protect others

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By Eleanor Cowan Way back in 1940, my Dad, Neil, married Maggie, a gentle woman soon thrilled at the birth of a son, Gordon. In late May, the young mom traveled to visit her parents in Nova Scotia and settled into a beautiful summer. Even with a war going on in Europe, and even though Gordie’s dad remained in Montreal, those months with her family became even more valued given Maggie’s sudden death. In early September, Maggie packed to return to her husband in Montreal. Hours before her departure on the 6 p.m. train, she began hyperventilating. Her blood pressure sky-rocketed and Maggie plummeted into mortal asthmatic distress. She never got to Montreal. Before her horrified parents, Ma …

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The Sociopath Channel: Investigation Discovery

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If you want to know how sociopaths behave, just watch any TV show on the Investigation Discovery channel. All the stories are true. They're all about sociopaths. All the stories will enlighten you about disordered behavior — if you know what to look for. In fact, I found a page on the ID website with helpful information: 5 Signs you share your home with a psychopath. The descriptions are reasonably accurate. I often turn on ID while I'm cleaning the house. Because of the reality show format — narration, interviews and reenactments — I find that I can listen to the shows while I work, and still follow the whole story. Time and time again, I hear perfect descriptions of sociopaths seduc …

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After the sociopath, a man with borderline personality disorder

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader Victimcindy. Donna Andersen  responds after the letter. My first relationship, after my 18-year marriage to a sociopath, was to a borderline personality disordered (BPD) man. Do you find this common as the disordered traits are opposite in some areas?  We think we are getting something new and healthy. Spath vs BPD: sex My spath-ex withheld sex as power. The borderline was highly sexual. My spath-ex was charming, but lacked empathy and was emotionally unavailable. He also abused substances, was opportunistic with casual sex outside marriage and secretive. Spath vs BPD: love The borderline was vulnerable, overly e …

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Why didn’t his family warn me?

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I want to express my deepest appreciation and thanks for this site. I have questions for which I can't find answers. Admittedly I'm new to this forum and I'm sure my story isn't unique as I've read MY story over and over LOL! I'm clearly among my peeps. I say that with humor and with heartache because my family and friends do not understand my situation by no fault of their own. 1- having never been exposed to a sociopath their advice was based on a normal relationship. And 2- I didn't share most of what happened out of embarrassment. I didn't even realize my X was a sociopath until recently, 3 years after the final breakup. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't bouncing back, why I had no …

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Mary Ann Glynn on why a support group helps recovery from a sociopath

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/Wq_w9KEXglw"] Upcoming Lovefraud CE Webinar: Facilitating Professionally Run Support Groups for Partners in Exploitative Relationships Friday, June 22, 2018 • 12 noon - 2 pm ET 2 CE credits available for therapists • $49 Confusion — everyone who is romantically involved with a sociopath experiences massive amount of confusion. Support groups offer clarity and validation — that's why they're so helpful for recovery. Lovefraud constantly hears from people who are looking for support groups specifically to help with recovery from sociopaths. They are really hard to find. And that's why Mary Ann is offering her webinar — so therapists who want to of …

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Has your ex threatened to take revenge after your divorce?

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Dwight Jones, of Scottsdale, Arizona, was bitter and angry about his November, 2010 divorce. Last week, almost eight years later, he allegedly lashed out. Jones is suspected of killing six people, four of whom were connected to his divorce: Dr. Steven Pitt, a well-known psychologist who testified against Jones in the divorce Veleria Sharp and Laura Anderson, paralegals who worked in the law office of the divorce attorney retained by Jones' ex-wife Marshall Levine, a counselor who took over the office space once used the counselor who treated Jones' son Mary Simmons and Bryon Thomas, who were friends of Jones, although police don't know why he killed them It certainly …

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