Archives for 2018

My motivation for writing "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned"  and Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood was multifaceted, including to help myself and others understand and heal. Understanding and healing is an ongoing process, and I am always learning. Self-blame and victim-blaming are common. Many involved with sociopaths experience self-blaming and are also the target of “victim-blaming.” It’s bad enough when someone we thought cared deeply for us gives us little sympathy and says things like, “How could you have been so naive?” “How did you cause this?” “How could a smart person be so stupid?” …

After being targeted by a sociopath, self-blame is natural, but misguidedRead More

By Eleanor Cowan I picked up my sweet, chubby grandson and cuddled him in my arms. He’d reached up to me and, thrilled to respond, I held him close. But ah, a colorful object on the floor beckoned, and instantly, he wanted down. Wriggling only once and issuing a single sound, he found himself back on the wool carpet crawling towards a plastic lamb-shaped cookie cutter. It claimed his full attention. With no hesitation, he’d signaled his wish and I honored it. Simple as that. Not so in my childhood. Responses to me were, “What do you want now?," "Go away," "Get lost," or, "What a pain in the behind.” So today, to say no when I mean no, or yes when I mean yes, without compromising m …

Once I was groomed to be compliant; now I’m reclaiming my own lifeRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/BKheFySDkBQ"] Welcome to SLV101, the top radio station of the year! Interested in tuning in? Watch the session to learn how to catch the frequency for your Self LoVe One-Oh-One station. Once you are tuned in, you will probably be tempted to stay tuned, simply because it feels Oh so good! Do you remember a time when you would wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say “good morning beautiful”? I know it sounds strange, but it feels Good, why do you care how well it sounds? Start giving yourself compliments because it is an important contributor to your self-love recovery. Start treating yourself better, start working on your relationship with you …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 21: TUNE INRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/QqDeP1mh6dc"] Répondez, s'il vous plait. “Please reply”, goes the French phrase. I personally love receiving invitations and sending RSVPs, however, when somebody invites me to drama, there is no way I will RSVP! I am now inviting you to share this perspective and think before you sacrifice your class to get even with someone who has none. If you choose to call it “returning a favour” because the word “revenge” sounds so mean, I am afraid the outcome will be no different. You have probably heard them say, before you go on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Well, there is a lot of truth to it I believe. Some people go figure it out themselves the hard …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 20: SHIFTRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/J5g8A1HRA9Q"] Let’s take a fresh new look at the word Message together. It seems to be made of two words - mess and age. I am sure you all know what mess is all about, we felt it through all of our five senses - we saw it, we heard it, we touched it, some of us smelled and tasted it. Using our sixth sense now, the voice of intuition, which is or our extrasensory perception, we are able to turn that mess into a mess-age. We age physiologically when we grow old, but we age psychologically when we go through pain. If however, we choose not to Go through pain (that mess), but to Grow through pain, we Age emotionally, meaning we grow strong, take our f …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 19: GIVERead More

  [youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/XHmme9CbEZQ"] Acting when you are traumatised sounds like an arduous task, but it takes a special person like you to act on your life, so that it doesn’t act on you instead (again!). During this self-love and healing practice acting is about starting to take charge of your life in every way. Following the principles learned from the past 17 days of practice, once you put yourself first and start your day with yourself first, you will very much look forward to your morning 25-minute power routine suggested in this practice. Many of you have already made that important decision of getting enough rest for your recovery and waking up early e …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 18: ACTRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ctHtmbXsvP8"] When was the last time you dressed up and took yourself out on a date? Why not? You keep going out on dates trying to get to know other people, how about you get to know yourself too? I know it sounds crazy to go on a date by yourself, but trust me, I had to do it myself and it works! I don’t of course ask myself, hey where are you from, what achievements or failures did you have in life, I don’t even bother asking what the hell happened any more, because no one seems to have a clue including myself. Instead, I follow all the protocols for a date, that is, no phone, no computer, nothing to be busy with, just sit out there and get to know you …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 17: UNDERSTANDRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/faoQf9DozPI"] When we visualise, we normally form a mental image of something. If you have ever paid attention to the kind of mental pictures while browsing the lovefraud pages, since you first came across to this site, you have probably been petrified. You probably considered yourself a well-educated, well-rounded person, with great empathy, affection, attention and care for all, but you probably felt like a zebra chased by a lion, a fish caught by a bear or a rabbit tortured by a fox. It’s impossible for anyone to understand a predator and a prey relationship unless they have been a victim too. When you feel like you’re in a war, all the scenes of the bl …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 16: VISUALISERead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/GGcPkJwCUgs"] Have you ever wondered where your childhood toys are? The toys you used to play with, imagine with and dream with, what happened to them? That little racing car, the noisy steam train, that beautiful doll… Your mind is probably travelling 30, 40, 50 years back wondering about your lost toys. Well, I have lost my childhood toys too, I just don’t know where they are. But let’s think for a second, what else has gone missing with those toys… Imagination. Why don’t we dream and imagine the same way we used to when playing with our childhood toys? Dreaming is absolutely necessary for our healing and recovery. Dreams are what will fill up that bl …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 15: DREAMRead More