How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The sociopath led a double life and stopped paying the bills

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Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as "raisingtwins" sent the following story. When I met my sociopath, he was good looking, fit, charismatic and career driven. In 2002, I moved across the country with him, since he was transferred back to an office with the company he worked for. We had a baby together in 2003 and he wanted nothing to do with getting married. I should have seen that as a giant red flag. He threw lavish parties for his work team and worked long hours. We married in 2005 and his behavior was always very erratic. His weight went up and down and his episodes of anger started getting progressively worse. It was a life of constantly walking on eggshells. In …

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How loss through suicide creates perfect targets for sociopaths

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By Eleanor Cowan The generous invitation to a "Survivors of Suicide Loss Retreat," a day of comfort for those left behind, could so easily have been ignored by me. After all, it's been 46 years since my depressed mother climbed over the railing of her high-rise balcony in Toronto. I’ve done a great deal of recovery work since then. I researched the negative domino effect of Mum’s life: abused by her alcoholic father, unprotected by her co-dependent mother, denied the privilege of marrying the man she loved because he wasn’t Irish, followed by her hasty marriage to an unhappy religious man, who was a widower – and Irish. “Why did you marry a man you didn’t love, Mom?” I asked her one …

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Signs of a sociopath: Man allegedly gets out of prison and immediately kills a woman

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David James Bohart, 34, of Arizona, got out of prison on Monday, November 19, 2018. That same day, police in Tucson received a 911 call in which a man reported that he was just released from prison and had killed his girlfriend. Bohart was arrested in a Tucson motel on suspicion of second-degree murder. The victim, Marika L. Jones, 49, was found dead in a home. While searching the home, detectives found a Department of Corrections file box belonging to Bohart. None of this looks good for Bohart. This story gives multiple hints that Bohart may be a sociopath: If he did, in fact, commit the murder, well, killing someone is a big warning sign. Killing someone on the day he got …

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The sociopath as your soul mate

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A few years ago, I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. …

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With gratitude on Thanksgiving

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Happy Thanksgiving to all Lovefraud readers! On this special day, I am grateful for: All of you Lovefraud readers, who so generously share your stories, support and advice to new survivors who visit our site. All of Lovefraud's talented webinar instructors, who share their expertise and wisdom to help you overcome your challenges. Our talented webmaster, Dave Rodrigues, who solves our technical problems. (If you tried to visit yesterday and Lovefraud was down, it is because we were under attack by multiple IP addresses. We have no idea why.) My wonderful husband, Terry Kelly, who offers wonderful support for me and all of Lovefraud. (He also made a killer Pumpkin Chiffon Mousse …

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My husband was leading a double life of prostitutes and strippers

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Arlene18. I have been married to him for 29+ years and we have three grown sons, who are all still in school. In Sept. 2016, I discovered he was leading a double life filled with prostitutes and stripper girlfriends. He admits to doing this for over 20 years, though it is probably longer than that. He made the boys take out student loans, and said we didn't have enough money to replace my decrepit old car — while spending insane amounts of money on his girlfriends in order to make them like him. Through the discovery, I tried having him in therapy to see if the marriage and family could be salvaged, b …

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Why 14,347 donors gave more than $400,000 to a fake campaign to help a homeless vet

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In this video from August, Megyn Kelly of Good Morning America interviews Katelyn McClure and her boyfriend, Michael D'Amico, about the more than $400,000 they raised for a homeless vet. Right there on national TV, they are lying. In November 2017, according to McClure, she was driving on I-95 in Philadelphia when she ran out of gas in a bad neighborhood. She got out of her car, and was about to walk to get gas, when a homeless veteran who panhandled on the side of the road told her it wasn't safe — she should stay in her car. Johnny Bobbitt walked to a gas station, and using his last 20 dollars, bought her gas so she could get home safely. McClure and her boyfriend, Mark D'Amico, said …

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Signs of a sociopath: Ed Shin on trial for murdering his business partner

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A Lovefraud reader sent me a link about Edward Shin, 40, who is currently on trial in Orange County, California. He is charged with murdering his business partner, Chris Smith. News accounts of the case include clues that Shin may be a sociopath. In June 2010, Smith was a 33-year-old entrepreneur and surfer with an oceanfront apartment, a serious girlfriend and a bright future. He and Shin were partners in a company called 800XChange, which focused on debt consolidation. They were making a lot of money. Then, Smith's family began receiving emails — he had always wanted to escape a mundane existence, and he had decided to cash in and go on a travel adventure. According to Smith's e …

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Dr. Laura Rubiales: Addressing fatigue after a social predator

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By Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc If you find yourself drained and tired after an experience or relationship with a social predator, these are my suggestions: Cut all ties with them and those with whom you will get the social predator’s manipulation. Try to reach some kind of emotional neutrality about the situation so you are not giving them your mental and emotional energy anymore. A skilled therapist can be invaluable in this process. I understand that this is much easier said than done when the predator was an intimate partner or affected your safety in the world. See if you can revitalize yourself with activities that recharge and soothe you…. Mine are yoga classes, time in nature, naps, …

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Here’s the absolutely best way to protect yourself from sociopaths

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Yes, you can avoid letting a sociopath into your life. All you have to do is listen to your intuition. Security expert Gavin deBecker, who wrote The Gift of Fear, explains that intuition evolved within us over the millennia for one reason: To protect us from predators. Sociopaths are predators, and our intuition will warn us about them. The key is to pay attention. Sometimes the warning is blatant — one woman told me about feeling instantly terrified when a man approached her. But instead of heeding her internal warning, she berated herself for being judgmental — after all, the man had done nothing to her. She talked to him; they became romantically involved; he was, in fact, a soc …

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