2019 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

How childhood pain leads to involvements with sociopaths

December 19, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 70 Comments

Updated for 2019 Lovefraud recently received this letter from a woman whom we'll call "Nina." I'm posting Nina's story because many Lovefraud readers have told me of similar patterns in their lives. I love this man like I've never loved before. He seemed to be my soul mate. I have had two failed marriages (no sex in them). I was touched by a neighbour starting when I was 10 and it continued for eight years. My father was totally controlling and I was not allowed friends or to go anywhere except to this neighbour. Both were depressed parents and did not show affection, only criticism. I have always felt alone but now am — parents dead, sister dead within last four years. I …

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Despite my education, I knew nothing about sociopaths, says ob/gyn doctor

December 7, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call, "drsusan." I am a 60 year old retired OB/Gyn MD. I was married for 20 years to a man who turned out to be a narcissist. Despite my education I knew nothing about these types of people or the co-dependency phenomenon in which I was enmeshed. We share 3 sons. I became aware that he was a narcissist in 2000, when one of my patients who knew him casually mentioned it to me. He had recently shocked me by telling me he wanted a divorce, and once I began researching things, saw that his controlling and bullying behavior were signs of narcissism. As the divorce progressed I became aware of all the …

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On Thanksgiving 2019, the energy of gratitude

November 28, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 11 Comments

One of the most healing energies of the universe is gratitude. No matter what your situation, finding something to be grateful for can help you move forward. This may seem difficult, especially if you've recently discovered that you've been betrayed by a sociopath. But even under these circumstances, you can be grateful that you have finally learned the truth. My own experience with a sociopath was shattering. But one thing that was demolished was the wall I had built around myself. With that gone, I was able to move forward and find true love and companionship, and for that I am grateful. To all Lovefraud readers, thank you for your contributions to our collective …

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I was almost too brainwashed to believe his sociopathic behavior

November 22, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 5 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "refresh1." It was a random comment I made to a mutual friend that started the whole nightmare. I made a passing comment that this individual would be my 'end up with' guy... eventually one day we'd probably end up together - it was an off-the-cuff overly romanticised comment about a 'charmer' that had always tried to pursue me. I hadn't seen him for years and I was in a long term relationship of seven years with a nice guy at the time. She told him! Almost immediately the sociopath came into my life, turning up to where I worked, making excuses to come into the shop where I would serve him and he …

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder – Domestic Violence in Same Sex Relationships

November 13, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from an Australian women whom we'll call Sheila19. Speaking Up about the mental and physical abuse I endured from my last relationship in South Australia is not easy and has taken me some time to finally put into words. For several months during 2019 I lived in fear for my safety from a female Narcissist who was also a perpetrator of Domestic Violence towards me and, while I knew her, was a regular methamphetamine drug user. I had unfortunately been an acquaintance of hers spanning over 3 years. Due to fears that I would be physically targeted or my home attacked if I spoke up was a scary reality and this is exactly the …

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Video: To parents who must send their kids to spend time with a disordered ex

November 11, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

You left your partner because he or she is disordered. Unfortunately, you have kids together. So now, you must co-parent and send the kids to spend time with your ex — alone. Knowing the sociopath's abusive personality, you worry. And you wonder — what can you do to help them? Claudia Paradise, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist in New York City, helps parents like you all the time. So now, she is sharing her knowledge and experience with all Lovefraud parents who are in this situation in her upcoming webinar: Empowering the child who must spend time alone with a disordered parent Wednesday, November 20, 2019 • 7 to 9 pm ET • $50 Instructor: Claudia Paradise, LCSW-R This course wi …

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Sociopathic Abuse and Impaired Executive Functioning Skills

November 8, 2019 // by Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP// 17 Comments

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., BSC/MT What are executive functioning skills? As a behavioral therapist, I work with many clients who have impaired executive functioning skills. The term sounds pretty fancy and quite technical, but there is a simple explanation. The term executive functioning skills refer to a set of management skills that assist children and adults in achieving their goals through: prioritizing organizing remaining focused regulating emotions As children grow and become critical thinkers, it is necessary to be able to adapt to change and have the ability to revise strategies to reach personal, social and academic goals. What happens when executive …

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My experience in Jehovahs Witnesses: Rape, kidnapping, lost custody and homelessness

November 6, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 7 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Brenda." All names have been changed. My story is very, very long and sickening. I have not quite been able to write my timeline of events of abuse yet, until right at this moment. The pain of reminiscing to tell my story has been far too great to bear. I went from an independent strong young and beautiful young woman of 23, business owner since 18 years old, renting my own apartment, full time student, etc., to now owning NOTHING but clothes on my back. Living literally on the streets of California, 32 years old now. August 2018 I had an Antique 1910 Baby grand piano, a sewing career that I just …

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What a sociopath says, and what he really means (according to his ex)

October 31, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 4 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the above screenshot and her explanation from the longtime reader, "Fleeing Deer." The picture above is a screenshot of my former spouse's FB post. He is attempting to recruit people for his multi-level-marketing Ponzi scheme. He promises to teach people how to make 6 or 7 figure incomes. Here is my "re-interpretation" of his message: Let me tell you a tale of how I am a victim so that you will feel sad for me and have pity on me. Let me manufacture a life-changing moment because we all love redemption stories and I need you to believe I have grown, and changed, and learned from my mistakes – even though I am completely unable to do any of those th …

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After the narcissist, I will live life to the fullest — as soon as I figure out how to leave my bedroom

October 23, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 2 Comments

Editors note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Lorraine19." I married my husband after one year of dating. He was charming and funny I knew he wasn’t always the nicest of guys but he was never out right mean. Well I guess he was but I didn’t take it that way I just assumed I had done something wrong. I didn’t even realize until 25 years later when he cheated on me, and blamed me for cheating on me, that I wasn’t crazy. Throughout our whole marriage he never once apologized. He never once thought he had to and he never once thought he was wrong. Everything he did was the fault of mine. I had caused it, I had made him react, I had done it, I had whate …

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Donna Andersen on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “Hi Samson75 – My paper was peer-reviewed and published in the International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology. There’s…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “HI Samson, from what I read of Donna’s article, she had more than 2,000 Lovferaud readers as a valid sample.…”
samson75 on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “love fraud subscribers are not really a valid sample as they represent people who either have had trouble dealing with…”
Donna Andersen on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “Thank you for your thoughtful comment.”
samson75 on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “The majority of studies show that bipolar and psychopathy can be comorbid, though it is rare. What people likely see…”