How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopathic manipulation in divorce and child support

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Sally21.” She tells a typical story (unfortunately) of sociopathic manipulation in divorce and child support. I have been divorced for 5 years, was in relationship with N/S (narcissistic sociopath) for over 20 years and it took me at least 10 to find the courage to leave and start over. I have always been very outspoken, intellectual, and fearless. I came from a dysfunctional background but did extensive counseling to become healthy AND pursued educational degree last in both Psychology and Sociology. To no avail...I still married a N/S. I knew from the beginning something was wrong. There were 2 (t …

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How I Stopped Letting Fear Stop Me

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, writes that for years, she went from one sociopath-induced catastrophe to another. It all changed when she decided, "I will stop letting fear stop me." Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest This picture? It's a self-portrait that I did at about 2 a.m. one awful night while I was in a toxic, messy relationship with a sociopath (who turned out to be a crack addict, which explained the violence, mood swings and general insanity, but how I didn't see it, I'll never know. Love is blind, deaf and incredibly stupid, I suppose). Anyway, that scribbled drawing gives you a …

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Malicious Parent Syndrome and sociopathic behavior

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS I’m a mental health practitioner, and while researching family therapy journals for research on cognitive behavioral therapy approaches, I came across a concept called the "Malicious Parent Syndrome.” It described how some divorcing and already divorced parents actively work to turn their children against the other parent. It sounded very much like how sociopaths engage in parental alienation. Characteristics of malicious parent syndrome The concept of Malicious Parent Syndrome was developed between 1995 and 1999 by a psychologist named Ira Turkat, who specialized in family law disputes, false allegations and relationship poisoning. His 1999 article in the J …

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Every moment is a chance to begin again, even after the sociopath

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, writes that even though a sociopath has created havoc in your life, you always have a chance to begin again. It's up to you to take it. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Have you ever wished for a second chance? A clean slate or a fresh start? Chances are you have. I know I certainly have. It was largely due to the disasters created by sociopaths, whether directly or as a result of the toxicity they had caused in my childhood and younger adult life, and the stupid choices I made. Yeah, I know that's harsh and I'm sure I'd never say that about anyone else in the same …

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Restoring your “happy hormones” after narcissistic abuse

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., CCBP, BC Our bodies are equipped with many hormones that act as “chemical messengers” to the brain. When these chemicals are released, cellular changes occur that can affect your wellbeing. Four of them — endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin — could be considered “happy hormones” because they help us feel good. During and after narcissistic abuse, many of the “feel good” chemicals are suppressed as a result of constant psychological and/or physical attack, which leads to a state of hypervigilance or “fight or flight.” Restoring your happy hormones helps you recover. Chronic traumatization rewires the brain and body Most survivors of narcissistic abus …

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Hooked by a sociopath – again

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Why do we escape one sociopathic partner, only to be hooked by a sociopath again? It happens. A lot. Here's an example: A reader first joined Lovefraud in 2008, as she was scrambling to get away from a man who she thought was her true love, but turned out to be a sociopath. She read Lovefraud articles and posted comments for a couple of years, and then moved on. Six years later, she sent me an email with the subject line, "I'm back." She'd become involved with another sociopath. "How could I be so stupid?" she wrote. "And this time is much much much much worse than the last." Another sociopath Why does this happen? Why do we get rid of one problem person, only …

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Yes, you can decide to be positive, despite the sociopaths

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, writes that even after the chaos and turbulence of sociopaths, you can decide to be positive. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest I wish I had a couple of bucks for every time people said that they wished they were as positive as I am. I heard it a few times again yesterday. It's kinda funny when I think about it because I can assure you, I didn't come out of the chute this way. Growing up in a home with sociopaths, there wasn't much by way of sunshine and roses. And the resulting damage meant ongoing chaos and turbulence well into adulthood and spending years …

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Highflying sociopath who cheats internationally

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call, “Molly.“ She, unfortunately, met a sociopath who cheats internationally. I met this guy online. In a week he had booked his flight from Scotland to see me in Ireland. He told me I was exactly what he was looking for. At 47 he had already been married and divorced twice and had an 18 year old son. He had a highflying job going to work via helicopter so it was all very romantic. He claimed to have depression and anxiety. The day my mum died instead of coming to her funeral he flew his other woman to Barcelona to a 4-star hotel for 5 days over Valentine's. When he got back 5 days later, he finished with …

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To Stop the Energy Drain, Put Yourself First

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, reminds us that it's exhausting to try to be all things to all people. To stop the energy drain, put yourself first. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Life can be exhausting. Even when things are going great, there's always so much to do. Life that involves a sociopath is absolutely draining. How do you stop the energy drain? There are no words for how it feels to interact with sociopaths. Until we figure out how to stop or minimise it, these psychic vampires suck the energy right out of us. There could be a list of reasons for how you ended up with this …

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Is this man insecure, a jerk or a sociopath?

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UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the  Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Shanmoo." This article was originally published in 2014, but the message is timeless.  Shanmoo wanted to know if the guy she dated is a jerk or a sociopath. Donna Andersen's comments follow the letter. I can't believe I've had to come back here after five years. I had a spath boyfriend in 2008-2009, and spent many a night on this site. However, I did move forward, and I believed I had dealt with all the issues, karma and justice happened and in fact I met a decent guy. Unfortunately we went our separate ways because of my illness, at that time. My relationship with c …

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