When people realize that that they are involved with a sociopath, the standard advice from Lovefraud is that they should, as quickly as possible, cut the predator out of their lives. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texts, and certainly no in-person meetings. It means No Contact. Of course, there are times when this is difficult, as when our reader works with the sociopath, or they have children together. In these cases, they need to implement No Contact as best they can. But let's now talk about situations where it is possible to get rid of the person, such as in a dating relationship. What is the best way to establish No Contact? Clearly, firmly and permanently. The rules …
The Law of Attraction and sociopaths
In 2007, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, was the best-selling book in America. The book was featured on two episodes of Oprah, which significantly boosted sales. At one point the book was selling 150,000 copies per week. Total sales: 19 million books. The Secret has many proponents—and many detractors. It's described as a self-help book on the power of positive thinking. Some critics say that the book offers nothing but false hope to people who try to solve their problems by wishing them away, when they need more conventional solutions. The premise of The Secret is the Law of Attraction. Here is how it is defined in the book: Everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into y …
The sociopath’s isolation campaign: Keeping you from the people you love
A sociopath looks deep into your eyes. “I never loved anyone like I love you,” he says. “We are so special together. People will never understand why we're so attracted to each other. They say we shouldn't be together, but they're just jealous about the intensity of our love. Love can overcome anything, you know. It's you and me against the world, kid!” With words like these, sociopaths launch one of their most important strategies: Isolating you from friends and family. It doesn't seem that way at first. In the beginning, sociopaths want to be with you all the time. They proclaim that they are so wrapped up in you that they can't bear to be apart, and it feels flattering to be so de …
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Intuition, purpose and sociopaths
In my previous two articles on this blog, I wrote that our awful entanglements with sociopaths often have a larger purpose—our personal spiritual growth. This is an extremely difficult concept, especially when we believe in a benevolent God, universe, or higher power—whatever term you want to use—who only wants the best for us. Why, if God loves us, would he/she want us to experience the deceit, betrayal and destruction of a sociopath? In my case, the terrible experience allowed me to unearth internal pain and disappointment that was blocking me from feeling love and peace. My sociopathic ex sensed the negative feelings within me, and promised to be the answer to my prayers and the fulfi …
I wasn’t that stupid
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following link from Wikipedia: Psychological manipulation The author of the article on psychological manipulation based most of its information on three books: Who's Pulling Your Strings?, by Harriet B. Braiker; In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, by George K. Simon; and The Psychopathology of Everyday Life, by Martin Kantor. The first two sections of the article are excellent. First, the author discusses the requirements of successful manipulation: According to Simon, successful …
If only the media added educational to the sensational
A Lovefraud reader frequently sends me links to stories in the Daily Mail, a tabloid based in the United Kingdom. Here are some recent articles: Newlywed ”˜murdered his wife of just five months after she discovered his affairs on Facebook' (September 3, 2010) Bigamist who claimed to be decorated Falklands hero to woo fifth wife then fleeced her of £50,000 (September 6, 2010) Cheating husband bludgeoned wife to death before going Christmas shopping with mistress (September 9, 2010) Internet Romeo conned dozens of women out of £500,000 pretending to be terminally ill (September 15, 2010) Here at Lovefraud, we can recognize that the bad actors in all of these cases are likely soci …
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Study says PTSD may cause genetic changes
New research on mice finds that trauma conditions at a young age produce PTSD-like symptoms, and the symptoms cause genetic changes that are passed down to offspring. Read Genetic scars of the Holocaust: Children suffer too on Time.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Priest impregnates teenager
In 2008, the chaplain of a Roman Catholic high school in Reading, Pa., befriended a female student. Well, the relationship was much more than friendship, and the girl's parents have filed a lawsuit against him and the Diocese of Allentown, claiming that the priest impregnated their daughter. Read Suit says priest impregnated teenager, on Philly.com. The teenager had a baby, and apparently is now living with the priest, who has been relieved of his duties. Read Teen found at apartment of priest her parents sued on ReadingEagle.com. …
All I wanted was a date
Back in the summer of 1996, when I logged onto the America Online Love section, I had no idea that it would be the beginning of a journey that would change my life. I was single, had never been married and was about to turn 40—yes, I heard that biological clock ticking very loudly. I ran my own copywriting business and finally, after 13 years of struggle, I was making good money. Maybe, I hoped, it was finally time for me. When I logged on to AOL and looked at the personal ads, all I wanted was a date. Enter the sociopath What I found was James Montgomery, who turned out to be a con artist—a sociopath. Like many Lovefraud readers, when this man crossed my path, I had no idea what a soci …
Freedom to lie: Stolen Valor Act ruled unconstitutional
The Stolen Valor Act of 2005 makes it illegal for anyone to claim military decorations that he or she did not earn. It's a straightforward law that states: Whoever falsely represents himself or herself, verbally or in writing, to have been awarded any decoration or medal authorized by Congress for the Armed Forces of the United States, any of the service medals or badges awarded to the members of such forces, the ribbon, button, or rosette of any such badge, decoration, or medal, or any colorable imitation of such item shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than six months, or both. On August 17, 2010, the law was found to be unconstitutional by the United States Court of …
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