How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Looks like Sen. Joni Ernst was married to a sociopath

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Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa endured verbal, mental and at least one incident of physical abuse during her marriage, according to documents filed in her divorce from her husband of 26 years, Gail Ernst. When they married in 1992, Gail Ernst was 39 and a career Army man. Joni Ernst was 22 and had recently graduated from college. In her divorce documents, Joni Ernst says: Her husband assaulted her after she confronted him about his "special relationship" with their daughter's babysitter. She fled to her mother's house with their daughter in the middle of the night. After the incident, Gail Ernst agreed to counseling, but told her not to discuss the assault in the sessions. She a …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: Was the relationship moving too fast, or was I just afraid?

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By Donna Andersen Not long after we met in person, James Montgomery proposed to me — he was smitten with me, and proclaimed we'd make a great team. But it felt like he was taking over my existence. What was I getting myself into? Life became a spinning tornado, with James at the center of it. He was working at full speed on all his projects, yet called me many times a day, keeping me apprised of his progress. He told me about his meetings, forwarding reports and faxes. He also asked for my help. James wrote newsletters for the American Legion, Vietnam Veterans Association and his new Lions Club. He wanted me to use my vendors to get them printed and mailed. I was busy as well. My b …

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Wed 1/30 – Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed

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Webinar tomorrow: Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed Wednesday, January 30, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com You’re smart, loving and accomplished. Take this course and learn how your exploitative partner used your good human qualities against you, by targeting your vulnerabilities and hijacking the human bonding system. Purchase the webinar  Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed for only $25. More info. OR Sign up for the Lovefraud Understanding and Recovery 5-part Masterclass, and the webinar is included. You get six webinars for $99. More info. Highlights of this webinar: Why most …

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To survive a sociopath, we sometimes act like a sociopath

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I almost didn't recognize myself. There I was, plotting with my cheating husband's mistress to steal money from his bank account. Before I married James Montgomery, I never would have considered such an action.  But after he convinced me to blow $227,000 on his ridiculous business schemes, and after I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam, I was angry, broke and desperate. I did what I had to do to survive a sociopath (although at the time, I didn't know he was a sociopath). Maybe because of your own entanglement with a sociopath, you've found yourself doing things that you never, ever did before. This happened to "Stevie2018," who just posted her story in the Lovefraud Forum. Her …

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Signs of a sociopath: Man sinks his boat to kill wife on their honeymoon

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Lewis Bennett will be sentenced this week in Miami, Florida, for the death of his wife, Isabella Hellmann, who was lost at sea during their honeymoon in November, 2017. Bennett, an experienced British sailor, pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter. Bennett had claimed that the boat had struck an unidentified object. However, photos released by federal prosecutors show that the hull was intentionally punctured from the inside, causing it to sink. The United States Coast Guard found Bennett floating in his lifeboat in the Atlantic Ocean. The body of his wife was never found. Signs that Lewis Bennett is a sociopath: Murder. Bennett saved himself — and $36,000 in rare coins h …

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As Valentine’s Day approaches: Why was I betrayed by the sociopath?

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When you're single, Valentine's Day is rough. I know, because from my teenage years through age 40, I never had a romance going on Valentine's Day. I was lonely, and loneliness sets you up as a fat, juicy target for a sociopath. The commercialization of the holiday doesn't help. When you're "between relationships," all the advertising for jewelry, flowers and special restaurant menus is painful — a constant reminder that romance is missing from your life. When I was alone, I couldn't figure it out. I was reasonably attractive, nice, considerate, successful, active and loved to have fun. What was the problem? Why couldn't I get a date? So there I was, single and about to turn 40, w …

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Legal Abuse Syndrome: the result of facing sociopaths in court

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Book review — Legal Abuse Syndrome: A Preventable Public Health Problem, by Dr. Karin Huffer Review by Donna Andersen You're traumatized by your experience with a sociopath. Then you face a divorce, child custody or some other court battle against the sociopath — and you're traumatized all over again. The sociopath lies about you, smears your reputation and makes false accusations against you. So do his or her attorneys. And the clueless judge allows all of it. Thirty years ago, Dr. Karin Huffer, a marriage and family therapist, witnessed this phenomenon among her clients. No matter what she did to help them, they kept getting worse. Then she realized that everything she did for the …

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Tribute to Karin Huffer, author of Legal Abuse Syndrome

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The survivor community lost a shining star recently with the passing of Karin Huffer, who wrote Legal Abuse Syndrome: A preventable public health problem. She also pioneered the use of the Americans with Disabilities Act to help people dealing with sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths get a fair hearing in court. Through her consulting practice, Karin personally accompanied her clients to court to help them stand up against manipulative sociopaths, whom she called "power centered individuals." Despite the fact that she was a very senior citizen and needed a walker to get around, she was absolutely indomitable in court, protecting her clients against lies, smear campaigns, and power …

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“I encountered a serial killer and escaped”

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In response to a question on Quora, a writer called "Frances Red" said yes, she had escaped a serial killer, and told the story about her ex-boyfriend, Kylr Yust: Out of nowhere he bashed my head into the dashboard, zip tied my throat to the back of his seat, and forced himself upon me. I was traumatized, all these years we had been friends and he has never even so much as raise his voice at me now all the sudden he is beating the living crap out of me and stealing a big part of my innocence and Trust. After he was finished he Release Me From the zip tie that was around my throat. He kissed me and told me he had to do that to make sure he could trust me. That was then he told me that he had …

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Why sociopaths can’t love

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One winter, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I traded colds. I got sick first, and Terry made chicken soup and did what he could to make me feel comfortable. Then, despite my best efforts to keep my germs to myself, Terry got sick. By this time I was feeling better. So I went to the store and bought cold medicine, tissues and orange juice, because I'd used everything up. I made him chicken soup. I even made him a pot of chili. As I did all this, I noticed a warm feeling within me. It was the joy of taking care of someone I loved. I was concerned about his health and wellbeing. I was happy and energized to help him. It was a feeling sociopaths never experience, because sociopaths …

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