Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …
Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland
Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …
After the breakup, do sociopaths return?
Here's a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner's behavior. All those statements …
Fake spy with 3 wives — on TV and in real life
The BBC is running a new TV drama called Mrs Wilson — about a woman who discovers her "secret agent" husband has three other wives. This is exactly the story of Mary Turner Thomson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, whose ex-husband, Will Jordan, claimed to be an American CIA agent. In reality, he was a computer developer with three wives. The Daily Mail recently wrote about the similarities in the stories: Woman, 53, who thought she had the perfect marriage with her American 'secret agent' husband discovers he is serial bigamist with THREE other wives and 13 children. Lovefraud has been writing about this case for years. In fact, Lovefraud was instrumental in helping Jordan get arrested in h …
Signs of a sociopath: Elizabeth McKeown admits cutting a woman in half in road rage incident
Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police. McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn't moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster's car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported: According to police, she told investigators "I tricked her, you know, make her think I was going to be nice, be still and everything." Instead, she said she slammed her car into Foster and "cut her in …
“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths do
Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire's grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house. Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself. A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here: 'We didn't recognise that he was dangerous': our father killed our mother and sister After the shootings, Luke and Ryan were shocked to see articles in the media …
“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths doRead More
Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit
For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated. At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights. Then came the best part — the Christmas Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the high-kicking Radio City Roc …
Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spiritRead More
5 prison inmates steal $560K from military personnel in love fraud scam
Five inmates in a South Carolina prison managed to scam 442 members of the armed forces by using smuggled cell phones to initiate love fraud scams. They posed as underaged girls, contacted the service members, and then blackmailed the victims for $560,000 in hush money. US Attorney Sherri Lydon held a press conference in front of the prison in Columbia, South Carolina, and announced charges against five men: Antwine Lamar Matthews, 28 Rakeem Spivey, 27 Jimmy Dunbar Jr., 37 Wendell Wilkins, 30 David Paul Dempsey, 31 In addition to them, 10 more people were charged with helping the scammers collect the money from the victims. Finally — U.S. authorities are going after …
5 prison inmates steal $560K from military personnel in love fraud scamRead More
Signs of a sociopath: Man allegedly gets out of prison and immediately kills a woman
David James Bohart, 34, of Arizona, got out of prison on Monday, November 19, 2018. That same day, police in Tucson received a 911 call in which a man reported that he was just released from prison and had killed his girlfriend. Bohart was arrested in a Tucson motel on suspicion of second-degree murder. The victim, Marika L. Jones, 49, was found dead in a home. While searching the home, detectives found a Department of Corrections file box belonging to Bohart. None of this looks good for Bohart. This story gives multiple hints that Bohart may be a sociopath: If he did, in fact, commit the murder, well, killing someone is a big warning sign. Killing someone on the day he got …
Signs of a sociopath: Man allegedly gets out of prison and immediately kills a womanRead More
The sociopath as your soul mate
A few years ago, I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. …