How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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How to work with your brain to so you can feel better

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Dealing with sociopaths and the havoc they create crushes your sense of wellbeing, mood, self-esteem, confidence and happiness. In short, sociopaths make you miserable. Sometimes all you want is to feel better. Eric Barker wrote an article on BusinessInsider.com about how to feel happier. He summarized the work of multiple neuroscientists to come up with four steps you can take that will improve your outlook. They are: Ask "What am I grateful for?" Label negative emotions Make a decision Touch someone These aren't just "feel good" platitudes the suggestions are based on what affects your brain. Take these steps and you just might start to feel better. And that will enable you to deal with …

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How to know if you were raised by a narcissist, and what to do about it

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You feel like a doormat, you are competitive with siblings, you have no sense of yourself. Worse yet, you can't figure out why you feel the way you do. An insightful article on Huffington Post, written by Anna Almendrala, suggests that your problem may not have originated with you, but with your parents. Maybe your parents were narcissists. The article describes six ways you may feel or behave now, why your emotions or behaviors may be the result of a narcissistic parent, and how you can recover. 6 Signs you were raised by a narcissist, on Huffingtonpost.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.       …

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Checklist: Is your partner a sociopath?

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  Almost every day, I receive email from people who have discovered Lovefraud and have a burning question to ask me: "Am I involved with a sociopath?" I've heard this question so many times that I've finally created a quick and easy way to help answer it Lovefraud's "Is your partner a sociopath?" checklist. The 29 items on the checklist are drawn from the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, which was completed by more than 1,300 respondents in 2012. It identifies the behaviors that people who were in relationships with sociopaths experienced and witnessed, time and time again. These are the same behaviors I continue to hear about from hundreds of readers. So if you are wondering …

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Silly science: Researchers say liking bitter foods is linked to antisocial personality traits

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Every day, my breakfast is topped with curry powder, which contains turmeric, which is bitter. I must have my coffee in the morning. For lunch I usually eat a salad containing arugula and radishes. I love using fresh herbs from my garden, such as parsley, basil and cilantro. And I'd love to eat dark chocolate every day, but I resist that. All of the foods I mentioned are bitter, so I must be a sociopath. Researchers from the University of Innsbruck in Austria say that they've found an association between people who say they like bitter foods and antisocial personality traits. According to reports on Science Direct and Medical Daily, almost 1,000 people all Americans were handed long lists …

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7 reasons loving a cheater can be a gift

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Realizing that you're involved with a sociopath is heartbreaking, devastating, earth-shattering. But, as bad as it is, good can come out of the experience. You can gain a better understanding of the world and the people in it. You can gain a better understanding of yourself. And, if you commit yourself to recovery, you can come out the other side healthier than ever, with an opportunity for true happiness. I've written about this quite a bit here on Lovefraud. In my second of two articles for YourTango, I've expressed this view to a wider audience. You can read it by clicking the link below. 7 reasons loving a cheater is the best gift you'll ever give yourself, on YourTango.com. BTW I …

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Therapy Satisfaction Survey: Did you seek counseling because of a difficult relationship? How did it go?

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If you've found your way to Lovefraud, most likely it's because you experienced an abusive or destructive relationship. Did you also seek professional counseling? If so, Lovefraud wants to know about your experience. We are collecting data for a scientific research paper about the experiences of people who seek therapy in the context of an abusive relationship. Your relationship could have been with anybody: Partner Parent Sibling Boss Other The survey will ask you questions like: What aspects of the therapy were helpful or not helpful? Did you engage in couples or joint counseling? How satisfied were you with the services you received? It has multiple-choice questions and some questions …

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Q&A with Carol Mooney, a wellness counselor

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  What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? I worked for many years as a counselor in the criminal justice system with high-risk individuals involved in criminal offending, drugs and alcohol, volatile behaviors, chronic unemployment, very low education levels, mental health disorders and personality disorders (predominantly antisocial personality disorder), as well as a crisis counselor through the Mental Health Mental Retardation Department. In addition, I speak from the inside out from personal experience with a relationship with a dangerous, toxic lethal individual. I know the pain, betrayal a …

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Overt and covert narcissists

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According to an article by Scott Barry Kaufman on the Scientific American Blog, there are two types of narcissists: "While the 'overt' narcissists tended to be aggressive, self-aggrandizing, exploitative, and have extreme delusions of grandeur and a need for attention," he writes, "'covert' narcissists were more prone to feelings of neglect or belittlement, hypersensitivity, anxiety, and delusions of persecution." Researchers have developed the Maladaptive Covert Narcissism Scale. It has 23 statements, and people are supposed to rate the degree to which the statements describe them. Kaufman includes the scale in this article does it apply to anyone you know? 23 signs you're secretly a …

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How your brain enables you to be deceived

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When we finally catch on that everything a sociopath told us was a lie, most of us are furious with ourselves for not seeing the deception. We should cut ourselves some slack. A documentary that aired on the History channel explains why our brains misinterprets what we observe, and/or totally misses what is going on around us. "We believe first, and ask questions later," says science writer Jeff Wise in the show. Your Bleeped Up Brain: Deception, on History.com. Link provided by a Lovefraud reader. …

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How did you get caught by a sociopath? Find answers in the new Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook ebook

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As I learned more and more about the depths of my one-time husband's deception and betrayal, one of the things I kept asking myself was this: How did I get myself into this mess? I was a college-educated journalist and business owner. I'd been dating for more than 20 years. Yet nothing this man promised me was real, and I couldn't see it until it was far too late. How did this happen? Since my personal experience, and hearing from thousands of Lovefraud readers, I've discovered that we all have vulnerabilities, and sociopaths are experts at finding them. Recognizing our own vulnerabilities will help us understand why we were targeted, and what we have to do to recover. More importantly, …

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