A white-haired grandmother, Betty Neumar, had been charged in the death of Harold Gentry. But weeks before the trial last year, Neumar herself died of cancer. Man's desperate bid to prove brother's killer was 'Black Widow' who left trail of five dead husbands in five states, on DailyMail.co.uk. Link provided by a Lovefraud reader. …
Schizophrenia and mass killing
Paul Steinberg, a psychiatrist in private practice, explains schizophrenia and how it may have caused Adam Lanza to open fire in the Newtown, Connecticut school. An interesting point in the article is his discussion of the Goldwater Rule, an ethical standard of the American Psychiatric Association that prohibits members from discussing people they haven't examined. Consequently, it prohibits the people who may understand what happened from explaining it. Our failed approach to schizophrenia, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
DSM-5 creates new categories of mental illness – and costs
Lovefraud has written about the American Psychiatric Association's new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in relation to the new guidelines on personality disorders. (Read Disarray in the DSM-5.) But one psychiatrist says the manual will create even bigger problems. New psychiatry manual is a giant step in the wrong direction, on PressofAtlanticCity.com. …
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Peace at Christmas
Another Christmas is here. Again. Already. Some galactic entity must have revved up the planetary clock, because Christmases seem to be coming faster and faster. Even though we didn't all evaporate on December 21, 2012 with the end of the Mayan calendar, we seem to be hurtling into the future at breakneck speed. I've been dealing with holiday stress, such as running late while making hors d'oeuvres for a family party, and trying to figure out what gifts to buy for my teenage nephews. But that's easy stress. I am no longer pining for someone to spend the holidays with—an emotional void that made me vulnerable to the sociopath. And I am no longer going to family parties and pretending t …
Mother of a mentally ill son describes what she faces every day
Perhaps, in the aftermath of the terrible tragedy in Connecticut, people will finally start talking seriously about how to cope with the mentally disturbed. Liza Long, mother of 13-year-old boy who sometimes rages out of control, tells her story. 'I am Adam Lanza's mother': A mom's perspective on the mental illness conversation in America, on HuffingtonPost.com. Dr. Liane Leedom recommended this story for Lovefraud readers. …
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Answers to questions about sociopaths
I recently heard from yet another Lovefraud reader who realizes that she's been in a relationship with a sociopath. She's in the phase of trying to wrap her brain around about what these people are, and sent me the following email: What happens to these people? These sociopaths? How do they end up in life? Do they just go from victim to victim? Have any of them ever realized the affliction of which they suffer? Do they ever realize they are not capable of love? If they are not capable of love, they will never be happy, right? So...you could present “Red Flags of Love Fraud” to a sociopath and they would not see themselves in it, correct? Do they ever see the error of their ways? The …
Getting the sociopath out of your head
I once heard from a woman whom we'll call "Rochelle." She related her story of reconnecting with a long lost love, which turned out to be a fake love. As it is for many Lovefraud readers, the hardest part of breaking away was getting the sociopath out of her head. When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life. He poured on the c …
BOOK REVIEW: The No Asshole Rule
Here at Lovefraud, most of the conversation is about the sociopaths we've encountered in romantic relationships. But sociopaths are equal opportunity exploiters, and are often abusive in some way to almost everyone in their lives. Therefore, we can encounter sociopaths anywhere—especially in the workplace. I recently read a book that's helpful for avoiding, or surviving, abuse on the job: The No Asshole Rule Building a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn't. The book is written by Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D., a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University. Yes, there is a mild obscenity in the title, and the A-word appears throughout the book. Still, I'd d …
TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I though I hit the jackpot of love
Editor's note: This story was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Priscilla." I met a man in Canada on a popular dating website. I thought he was the "one" for me, and he had me quite convinced of this after 3 months of emails, texts and phone calls. So convinced was I, that when he "popped the question" over the phone one night to marry him, I told him yes. This was the first guy I had ever had a long relationship with, and felt it was heaven on earth. I was in my early 20s, and had never dated before. He was my first real "boyfriend," and I thought I had hit the jackpot of love. He had me so emotionally invested over the phone, that I felt I could not be without him so …
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Reminder of the brazen lies
I live four miles from where Hurricane Sandy made landfall in New Jersey. The bay, dramatically swollen by rain, wind and storm surge, left three feet of water in the ground floor of my home. We're slowly cleaning up the mess. On several occasions, government and agency officials have been on our street to see how we're making out. City officials were walking around the day after we were allowed to return home. A week later, a man from FEMA (the Federal Emergency Management Agency) knocked on our door and gave us a flier for disaster assistance. A week after that a woman from the Red Cross stopped by, checking to see if anyone needed services. Yesterday, we had another visitor. A man …