Lovefraud Reader

Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "Abigail." She relates how she fell for her so-called boyfriend's lies, over and over. I met my now ex-boyfriend June 2004. I had been divorced for 4 years; my kids were 7 and 10. He is a police officer. The night I met he seemed depressed, I asked him, "Why are you so sad?" He replied, “I got divorced this week.” By the end of the night I was really excited; I really liked him! I had been alone for four years. We started dating. Since I thought he was recently divorced, I didn't question him when he didn't call and sometimes, although I would speak to him, I wouldn't see him on the weekends. That only …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I fell for it a million timesRead More

Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader is shocked to realize that his sister is a sociopath. Here he tells his story.  What I’ll be sharing here is not a good story … It is in fact a very sad and dysfunctional situation I am dealing with. I post this so that others may learn how to identify and navigate through if faced with a similar situation. Interactions with a controlling person:  Have you ever dealt with a controlling person? … Someone that feels they just have to have their way no matter what. They go so far as to try to control not only every outcome, but also every action of others around them. In addition, they work to manipulate others in such a way that, though …

My controlling sister is a sociopathRead More

Editor's Note: Lovefraud received this story from the member who writes as "Duped." She describes her hyper vigilance — and how it worked against her. In hindsight, I remember questioning the little green things on the dinosaur nuggets he prepared for dinner. I was surprised he'd made the effort, in response to much nagging about not pitching in. It was late and I'd just returned from teaching an evening class. An overload to pay the bills since he quit his job. We had been arguing a lot, or rather me complaining; him not working, cleaning, taking care of the kids or pets and not making so much of an effort as to prepare a meal or help me. I had been working my full-time job teaching, o …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Hyper vigilance and PTSDRead More

  Editor's note: The following story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Greenfern." It is a classic story of sociopathic seduction. When I first met the S, I was very young, 22, and in a pretty bad spot. I come from a broken, abusive family and I have been pretty much on my own since 16. I was managing by putting myself through college, working full time, step by step. A year before I met the S, I was hit by a car and the recovery from that sent me into a depression and hardship. I had no family support or insurance, so I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and tried not falling behind. I felt alone and struggling, but managed. I feel like I was a strong young …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: It did not feel right, but I dismissed my discomfortRead More

UPDATED FOR 2023. Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who learned the hard way that she should pay attention to the Gift of Fear.  There was something odd about his intense gaze. Even though I felt funny about the way he stared at me the first time we met, I ignored my discomfort. I met my former boyfriend after I had been attending services at a Unitarian Universalist Church for several weeks. We engaged in small talk for a few minutes then swapped numbers. Even though I felt somewhat uncomfortable, I ignored my gut feeling and gave him my number anyway. I was very needy and desperate for friendship. We went out to lunch after the services. Even …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Listen to the gift of fearRead More