How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 2)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Nadine." Read Part 1. I met my partner's parents very early on in the relationship. I was equipped with some knowledge about Narcs due to one of my friends having a Narc ex-mother-in-law. My radar was up, but unfortunately I was looking closely at mother and father instead of him. I did not know about love bombing, so I had no clue he was even remotely like his parents. I knew she was bad news the day I met her. Father was the silent brooding intimating type. Throughout the relationship I was constantly standing my ground with boundaries that were continuously ignored or disrespected. As the mask of my …

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Discovering the double life: For 6 years, I was sleeping next to the devil (Part 1)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Nadine." When the mask of your Narcopath is ripped off in a split second you spend your days reeling from the shock of what you discovered. This is my story of how I took my power back and why I need to keep reminding myself it's still in my hands. The bad days make me forget I have the power; the good days make me grateful I do. I'll call him the Narc from this point forward, however I'm still unsure what his diagnosis is. He could be a sociopath/psychopath/anti social. My psychologist thinks he has a dual diagnosis of some type. He doesn't fit any of the boxes neatly, but he is on the spectrum without a …

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A reader’s proposal for a con artist database

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Editor's note: The following proposal was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Francine." I wrote a letter to my congressperson about proposing a national database, where someone can find out if a person has scammed others. As you know and other scams victims to do also, or will find out, there is little you can do criminally. I hope by posting by posting this on your forum, other members/victims will write to THEIR legislator and perhaps ONE of them will propose legislation. I know my local congressperson will NOT. I was scammed out of thousands of dollars, and while it may be more emotionally satisfying to beat the crap out of him, not only is it illegal and unbecoming, …

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A Sociopath’s Pity Play and Your Empathy Cement a Toxic Relationship

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 27 is so long, half of it appeared last week and the second half appears below. Chapter 27: Nightmare On Elm Street (part B) We moved into the house in late November. I had almost no help from Paul emptying boxes and setting up the house. I had no close friends yet who could lend a hand. My ability to service my previous clients waned. Most of my work was concentrated on three m …

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Video: Dr. Karin Huffer on dealing with a coercive controller in court

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/WaSFfosRoKo" title="Surviving%20Court%20When%20You%27re%20Traumatized"] You've been traumatized, and now you must face the person who traumatized you in court. Whether the case is divorce, child custody or some other litigation, you know that your opponent's objective isn't just to win the case. Your opponent will attempt to use legal procedures and the courts to crush you. How can you protect yourself? Surviving Court When You're Traumatized Part 1: How to protect yourself when you're facing a coercive controller Monday, October 17, 2016 • 8-9 pm EDT • $25 Part 2: How the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) can support you Tuesday, October 25, 2016 • 8-9 p …

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Invisible Intimate Partner Abuse and How to Manage Coercive Control in Court

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By Dr. Karin Huffer — editor Wilene Gremain In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here's a composite story drawn from my cases: I was a successful college educated thirty-something when I finally met my soul mate on a cruise ship to Alaska. Independent thinker, educated, ecology minded, career oriented, honest, he was almost the mirror image of myself as far as these qualities, two of a kind. We had it all. I was incredibly happy. Anything ”¦ we would do anything to show the love and respect we felt for each other. “Marry Me?” “You Bet!” After almost one year of marriage and closing in on our first Christmas together, I was at full throttle to make the best ever Christma …

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Sociopaths cannot love, they just want to win

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/scpZeDFSJZ8" title="Sociopaths%20cannot%20love,%20they%20just%20want%20to%20win"] In this "Letter to Lovefraud" video, I explain the sad truth about sociopaths in romantic relationships. A Lovefraud reader writes that her ex-boyfriend said that he missed her, he loved her, he changed. But when the reader went to see him, the guy humiliated her. The fact is, the guy is a sociopath, and sociopaths cannot love. He concocted the story to deceive the reader, just so he could hurt her. For him, the entire episode was a big win. The reader, however, can win in the end, by recognizing what her sociopathic ex really is, and eliminating him from her …

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Consumer studies professor learns her identity was stolen by her own mother

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Axton Betz-Hamilton, an assistant professor of consumer studies at Eastern Illinoiz University, had battled her own identity theft for 16 years. In 2012, she won an award for her work, and her mother stood smiling next to her as she accepted the honor. Then, when her mother died, Axton learned that her mother was the one who stole her identity when she was 11 years old. Axton says her mother was a low-grade psychopath. My mom stole my identity when I was just 11 years old, on NYPost.com.   …

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Once You’re Hooked, Sociopaths Ignore and Criticize

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  Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 25/26:  Last week, I skipped a chapter. When someone pointed out the oversight, I backtracked and added it to last week's post. Chapter 27 is so long, half of it appears below and the second half will appear next week. Chapter 27: Nightmare On Elm Street (part A) While Paul worked in Connecticut and the kids and I were still in New York, I barely saw him, although we …

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7 Social Science Insights that Will Help You Understand Why It’s Not So Easy to “Just Get the Hell Out”

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By Amber Ault, Ph.D. One of the many difficult questions survivors of toxic relationships ask themselves is “why is it so hard to leave someone who treats me so badly?” As rational people, we recognize that a relationship is extremely problematic and believe that the rational course of action would be just to stop the drama. And yet. And yet, this is usually harder than it sounds. While there are practical and logistical barriers to people exiting, the emotional resistance to leaving is usually present even when there aren't kids or property or business deals or divorce laws slowing us down. What accounts for this? Why is it so common? Social science has some insights that hel …

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