How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: What Did He Do To My Daughter?!

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from “Starmom.” Many people have had opinions, but no one's been able to address the origin: Something caused my daughter to change, virtually overnight what could the guy have done to her? Ten years ago, I made a mistake. Relatively new to an area where I didn't know anyone very well, I accepted “a ride home” from someone I didn't know. Refusing to take me home, and keeping me out, I was forcibly kept awake for what came to be at least two and a half days and nights straight after which my mind blacked out from exhaustion and I don't know what happened. During this period of time, I informed this guy (47 years old) that I “have no interes …

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My new heroes: Ashley Madison cheating site hackers

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AshleyMadison.com, a dating website for married cheaters, has been hacked. The website's slogan is, “Life is short. Have an affair.” Now, the personal details of 37 million members, including nude photos and sexual fantasies, have been compromised. This is a moral dilemma for me. Of course, hacking a website is criminal. But as far as I'm concerned, all of those cheaters are getting what they deserve. The hackers, a person or group calling itself the “Impact Team,” has demanded that the website owner, a company called Avid Life Media, take down Ashley Madison (AM), and another hookup site that it owns called Established Men (EM) and Cougar Life. Here's the statement from the Impact Team: …

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FBI asks for help in finding 240 teen sextortion victims of Lucas Michael Chansler

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ixAYkkub4Pw"] Lucas Michael Chansler threatened and blackmailed 350 teenaged girls into sending them explicit images of themselves, eventually collecting 80,000 images and videos of child pornography. Chansler, 31, of Julington Creek, Florida, pretended to be a 15-year-old skateboarding boy when the contacted the girls. He is now serving 105 years in a federal prison for his crimes. But many of his victims remain unidentified. So the FBI is asking the public's help in identifying additional victims. His screen names included "HELLOthere" and "goodlookingguy313." If you have information that may help identify victims of Lucas Chansler or believe you may have b …

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The Maria Story and My Dog’s Stress – Sociopaths Doing What They Do Best

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Maria #1 Let's start with the wonderful fact that this story is about Maria...number one.  Yes there were two Maria stories in my marriage to a sociopath.  This is the first one.  I first found out about Maria on a secondary phone the sociopath had.  There's another story that brings me to finding the secondary phone, but I will start with when I first found out about Maria.  It was a Saturday night and of course spath "had to go and check the jobs."  I had given birth to my little one about a month prior and was at home with her.  I put her to sleep and then went for th …

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BOOK REVIEW: The Inner World of the Psychopath

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As you read the list of key symptoms of a psychopath, you feel like you've been punched in the gut. Check, check, check the individual who has been making you crazy has all, or almost of all, of the traits. In shock, you realize that you have a psychopath in your life. You've seen the individual's glib and superficial charm, lack of empathy, lack of remorse. You knew he or she was deceitful, but now you suspect that every statement this person ever made may have been a lie. “How can he do that?” you ask. “What was she thinking?” Steve Becker, LCSW, a longtime Lovefraud author, has just come out with a book that explains what goes on in the mind of a psychopath. It's called, The Inner World of …

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My Story of Lies: His Lies to Me and the Lies I Told Myself

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Gaslit073168.” I met him in spring of 2014 through an online dating site. He was so honest in his profile (sarcasm now, in awe then) about being imperfect. Depression was his biggest flaw, in his eyes. He was sad because his kids live in Japan where he can only see them when he can financially manage to make the trip. It's been this way for a couple years because his now ex wife left him and decided to go home to her family in Japan. This wasn't the only reason he was depressed. He had brain cancer in 1998 that caused him to be legally blind in one eye, a huge bald patch across the back of his head and no tee …

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Judge throws kids in juvenile detention for not talking to father

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A divorce and child custody case in Oakland County, Michigan, has gotten so bitter that Judge Lisa Gorcyca has sent three children, ages 14, 10 and 9, to juvenile detention for refusing to see their father. The saga began five years ago, when Maya Eibschitz-Tsimhoni filed for divorce from Omer Tsimhoni. Both parents are originally from Israel, and the father had returned Israel. The Internet is buzzing over this one, and here are some stories. But reading them, I have absolutely NO IDEA whether the problem is the mother, the father, or both. We all know how well sociopaths can talk, lie, play the victim, and run a smear campaign. Probably the only way to really know who is at fault i …

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Something I Have Always Thought but Have Never Said-Celiac and Sociopaths

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Celiac Disease is an auto immune disease similar to diabetes.  People are genetically predisposed to have it, however certain risk factors can contribute to the onset of symptoms if you are genetically predisposed to CD like trauma or stress, among other things.  When I was growing up I was extremely healthy and strong.  I can only remember maybe one time being sick of any kind. My physical body was very strong and I ate like a pig!  I was in great shape because I danced competitively, racking up maybe 10-15 hours of training a week.  About 6 months of being in a relationship with a sociopath, I slowly started to have these odd symptoms.  The damage had already been done in the relationship a …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I still love the stupid jerk – what is wrong with me?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call “Lila” she posts as "gruuvygirl." Like many of the women I see on this site, I stumbled here while searching for answers as to why my four-year relationship is so incredibly painful and why I keep going back for more pain and heartache. I feel like I have lost my mind. At the beginning, our relationship was awesome. I was soooo happy because I thought I had finally found “the one” — my soul mate! He was handsome, drove a Harley, liked to do the same things I do, he was friendly and everyone liked him (I thought), he had a house on the lake and a job, but mostly he seemed to adore me. But even at the beginning t …

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Reader spots Red Flags of Love Fraud in a woman he meets on a dating site

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Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Evan.” I'm coming to Lovefraud again because I'm pretty sure I have just met another sociopath through a religious online dating website. She seems too good to be true, so I think she is ... I'm just wondering what the best way to end the very short relationship would be. Red Flag Reminders: Charisma and Charm Sudden Soulmates Sexual magnetism Love bombing Blames others for everything Lies and gaps in the story Intense eye contact Moves fast to hook up Pity play Jekyll and Hyde personality Facts: - I contacted her via the dating website on Monday (4 days ago she already wants to meet and has told me what feels like too ma …

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